Living with Alzheimers – His hand in mine by Chris Suich

his hand in mine by chris suich

I first remember Bob reaching for my hand when we worked together and we were the best of friends. We were stood together at the left hand side of the chairs in the Pier theatre. The lights had dipped and the show had just started. I don’t remember why it happened but I do remember thinking things would never be the same again. We had always got on well, laughed and joked around. He knew he wanted to marry me more or less instantly. It took me a little longer! In later life he always told me that and he remembers the moment he first clapped eyes on me. I was being interviewed for the job by someone else and he walked into the office to get something from a filing cabinet. But when he tentatively held my hand that evening , briefly, for just a few seconds I knew there was a new intimacy between us. A new connection. A connection that would last.

We have had a lifetime of holding hands.

Bob was always a gentleman. He was the type of man who opened car doors for me or carried my shopping or suitcases. We walked together in the countryside and in towns always holding hands!

I remember the long labour of our first baby and he stayed at the side of my bed holding my hand for hours trying his best to support and help me.

There is something reassuring and comforting when his hand is in mine. I miss it and so does he.

Latterly Bob suffered with severe anxiety and was prone to shaking episodes. I walked around the house with him holding his hand for hours until these shakes subdued. He wanted to hold my hand as he went to sleep and it helped him, soothed and comforted his fevered thoughts. I miss his hand in mine!

It is the saddest part of Bob being in care that we are not permitted to hold hands.

I have seen him in the flesh as it were, just 3 times in the garden. We are 6 months into this now.

The rules are 2 metres away, 30 minutes for once a week. It feels like we are criminals. Bob does not understand why I cannot touch him. He reaches for me. He tries to stand in his wheelchair. The care worker tries to tell him not to, as he might ‘tumble’. But he is valiantly trying to bear his weight and walk to me arms outstretched . Desperate for that contact. Me too. He tries several times and in the end he holds his hands like a handshake and kisses his own hands , the nearest he can get to kissing my hands. It is harrowing to watch. He sometimes says ‘it’s no good’ or he beckons me to him ‘come’ but I cannot comfort him. He sometimes tells me he loves me and my heart soars – he hasn’t forgotten me!

I have tried everything to persuade the powers that be to let me hold his hands. I have weekly covid 19 tests, all negative, I am willing to be wrapped in PPE , gloves, apron, and mask. I will sit out in the open where there is plenty of air circulating. I will do anything to give him this small comfort in his latter stages of Alzheimer’s. The July 2020 government guidance has changed. There is a realisation that Alzheimer and dementia patients need this type of contact. But it is a discretionary measure.

I know Covid 19 is here for a long time and we need to be safe. I don’t shop in supermarkets, I live on my own, I haven’t travelled very far. I have to keep myself safe as I have an 87 year old Mum to keep an eye on. I have taken advice and with the measures I am taking I would be mitigating any risk to give Covid 19 to Bob. or anyone else!

I wonder if I will ever hold his hands again. There must be so many who are suffering I have been told when he is dying I will be given that discretion. Am I supposed to be grateful for that?

Blurt Foundation Buddy Box by Natalie Jayne Peeke West Country Correspondent

 


I stumbled across the Blurt Foundations one day whilst scrolling through Facebook and what caught my eye was their ‘Buddy Boxes’ where I could chose items to be put into this buddy box and I could either keep it for myself or send it to someone who is in need of an emotional  pick me up. The Blurt foundation kindly sent me a box so I could have a look at what they put inside  and how this would help ease the strain of depression and anxiety.

I suffer with both of the awful mental health problems and was eager to see how the buddy box could help.

My buddy box arrived super quick and was packaged appealingly.  Inside I had: a crochet kit, a thankfulness log, some vegan dark chocolate, organic lip balm and a card.

That afternoon (and after a rather stressful morning) I thought I would attempt the crochet chicken kit and i was pleasantly surprised to find it therapeutic , it turned out horrendously due to my poor skills but I felt so much calmer for completing it. Then there was the chocolate and anyone who knows me knows how much of a chocoholic I am so I naturally enjoyed it and the fact that it was vegan friendly is a bonus. The lip balm is lavender and bergamot scented and is beautiful and I use it daily now. My favourite item has to be the thankfulness log where I can write down: how I’m feeling, what I am thankful for , something that made me smile along with a few things that I would like to remember about my day. I keep this on my bedside table ready to fill out.

So on reflection I would highly recommend the Buddy Boxes from The Blurt Foundation, but not just for the amazing and unique items but for what the blurt foundation stands for.

While depression is a common condition, there are a lot of misconceptions about it. At Blurt we work hard to increase understanding of depression, from the perspective of those who’ve actually experienced it.

We blog about living with, managing, and supporting others with depression in a friendly, accessible way. Our resources explain key issues clearly – we don’t believe in complicating things unnecessarily. Plus everything we do comes with a heavy dollop of empathy.”

https://www.blurtitout.org/buddybox

 

New Wireless Power Bank from Anker: PowerCore 10K Wireless

Anker Wireless charger, anker, phone charger, review

This wireless charger from Anker is sleek, stylish and does the job. You can even charge three devices at once. A great product.

PowerCore 10K Wireless

The Hybrid Wireless and Portable Charger

Charge Wirelessly On-The-Go

Leave your cables at home and still have all you need for charging. Just place your phone or other Qi-enabled device on the charging pad to get a 5W wireless charge—either in your palm or your pocket.

Charge Multiple Devices

Charge your phone wirelessly while charging up to 2 other devices at the same time via dual USB ports. (12W Total Max Output)

Wireless Pass-Through Charging

When connected to the wall, PowerCore continues to provide wireless-charging to your Qi-enabled devices while recharging itself, so you can wake up to a fully charged phone and pad every morning.

Non-Slip Design

Designed with a rubber coating that not only helps to keep your phone in place while charging but also feels great in your hand.

Wireless Compatibility:

– iPhone 11, 11 Pro, 11 Pro Max, Xs Max, XR, XS, X, 8, 8 Plus, AirPods pro, 5W Galaxy S20 S10 S9, Note 10 Note 9 Note 8

– Place your phone on the center of the portable charger to ensure stable charging while wireless charging.

– Cases made of metal and attachments such as magnets, cards, and grips will interfere with wireless charging.

– Does not support wireless charging for Apple Watch.

– Press the button to start the wireless charging function for devices.

The Anker phone charger is available here.

SISTER SCRIBES’ READING ROUND UP: AUGUST

Kitty

The Shelf – Helly Acton

I loved this book, it was a whirlwind of a story picking the reader up and whizzing them through the chapters much as a reality show does with the viewer and it’s episodes. A fabulous debut, it was addictive, quick-witted and I genuinely couldn’t put it down. I loved how the sisterhood of these women shone through as they bonded over their shared experiences regardless of their very different personalities. The book challenged the sexist tropes frequently perpetuated on social media and reality tv and reflected in society today with a clear and necessary message to both our younger and our older selves.  I thoroughly enjoyed it and am really looking forward to this author’s next book.

A Bicycle Built for Sue – Daisy Tate

This book took me through the emotions like you would not believe. Skilfully written, it manages to genuinely combine laugh out loud moments with segments so raw and emotional I had to pause and look away from the book for a bit.

It tackles some serious issues, suicide and self-harm but does so in a way that is both respectful, sincere and empathetic. However, the over-arching nature of this book is feelgood joy. The very opening pages – set in a 111 call-centre – set the tone by being witty, insightful and real.

The story itself is that of three unlikely friends who come together in a moment of adversity and resolve to do something out of the ordinary. They are to do a charity bike ride along Hadrian’s Wall, there are highs and lows, moments of danger and excitement but more importantly our characters learn an awful lot about each other and even more about themselves. This story is about the power of friendship and the characters represent the different stages of life and thus problems and issues we can all relate to, regardless of our age or experience. This book touched my heart and I am more than happy to highly recommend it.

Summer Strawberries at Swallowtail Bay – Katie Ginger

This is a feelgood summer read, with sunshine, strawberries, and a crumbling Manor House. Add a handsome, honourable hero and a heroine who is not afraid to go for what she wants and you have the perfect recipe for a lovely, relaxing read chock full of community and romance. I really enjoyed it.

Jane

Having read all Kitty Wilson’s Cornish Village School books I approached the last one, Happy Ever After, with mixed feelings. While I was looking forward to it I knew it would be my final visit to Penmenna with all those wonderful characters, belly laughs and Cornish sunshine.

Happy Ever After is Marion’s story. Having been the scourge of the PTA – and indeed the village as a whole – for the entire series – finally she took centre stage with a love story quite unlike the ones which went before. I know Kitty is my friend, but her portrayal of a twenty year long relationship rather than a shiny brand new one was sensitive and real, funny and poignant. And for that, I loved this book.

 

 

Meet the doyen of crochet… Barb, for whom it is a passion, which is great for the rest of us.

I received a gift for my soon to be born grandson, yet to be named,  (so each week I call him something different, working my way through the alphabet): I am at F, so he is Ferdinand.

I was absolutely delighted with the bonnet and discovered it  was made by Barb, of I Love to Crochet by Barb. It arrived in a superior blue bag, appropriate for a grandson  and that attention to detail is typical,  I have come to discover, of Barb – designer and crocheter (if there is such a word). Because of course, I had to go to the source and find out more about this lovely product, and what else  Barb makes, and how she originally set up and on… and on…

The answer is Barb makes all sorts, including evening bags so with Christmas coming, and if there are any parties under present circumstances, take a look at these.

Chatting to Barb it quickly became clear that crochet is her passion. When I asked if she knitted as well, Barb explained that once that had been the case, but sadly  Fibromyalgia and other conditions put a stop to that.  Nothing daunted she taught herself to crochet – not as easy as it sounds as she is left handed, especially as she learned from books – as there was no Youtube at that time.

Barb explained that she  loves designing and often creates a free-form hat.  She is happy with a pattern, but likes a challenge so if requested will design to the customer’s brief.  She also crochets for charitable causes and the hats look incredibly snug. I look dreadful in hats, but I do really love the  flower on the side, the size of which can be adjusted.

            

Barb is married to Colin, and is a mum and grandma, but this doesn’t stop her stock items constantly being replenished, though she loves it when customers approach her with their own designs or requirements. She explains that even the stock items can be personalised: think of a cardigan – what colour, with or without a ribbon, or perhaps hand made ribbon roses? All this  goes to create something unique.

                                          

​Barb’s prices are worked out according to the amount of yarn used, the type of yarn, the cost of the ribbon and time taken. Though in all honesty, as Barb says, the time can never really be fully costed because items can take days to  reach the quality she insists upon. 

Is this a chore to her? Certainly not, for let’s not forget Barb loves to crochet, and to please her customers – it is her passion.  

I know ‘Ferdinand’ (what on earth shall  call him when I reach ‘x’?) will be snug as a bug, and look totally cute. I am ordering another from Barb for Duchess Diva Delilah, who is three. Must keep things even.

If you’re interested as we’re nearing the end of August and soon we’ll be into autumn,  do contact Barb. She is a delight, and approachable, and will do all she can to help.

Photos: used with the permission of Barb.

Facebook: I love to Crochet by Barb

Website: www.ilovetocrochetbybarb.com

Email: ilovetocrochetbarb@gmail.com

Email: ilovetocrochetbarb@gmail.com

Facebook: ilovetocrochetbybarb

Please do not hesitate to contact me to ask any questions. I am very happy to telephone you if you email your details.

The Power of Play Geomagworld Educates and Excites

Frost recommends the Geomag Mechanics Magnetic Race Track. It is a fantastic and innovative toy. 

We at Geomag know that it is easier to learn when you are having fun, that is why all of our toys are educational with a fun-spin. It’s the fun aspect which allows a child to play, whilst engaging their mind to learn key skills in the process. Skills such as perseverance, cause and effect, investigation, hand-to-eye coordination, and STEM.

These key skills all play a huge part in daily life and we are committed to ensuring every child learns as much as they can when playing with their innovative sets.

geomag, STEM, stem toys

The Geomag Mechanics Magnetic Race Track Set is a unique, exciting and educational toy, which will provide hours of fun for the whole family. The system is made up of magnetic rods, steel spheres and elements of different shapes such as cylinders and modular parts. When assembled correctly, you can use the force of gravity to create chain reactions for never-ending fun.  The interactive marble run has 115 pieces and will harness the invisible forces of magnetism and gravity through original and surprising means. The spheres inside the circuit are set in motion by an innovative magnetic cannon that uses the force of attraction of the accelerating magnet.  The motion is provided by the invisible forces of Gravity and Magnetism, without using electricity or batteries. The play experience is based on these fundamental principles of physics.

The Geomag Magnetic Race Track 115pc MSRP £29.99 from Amazon.

IMOGEN HOWSON ON THE EVOLUTION OF THE RNA

I joined the Romantic Novelists’ Association in 2008 and went to my first conference that year. As a newish editor (I was working for a digital-first publisher) and a very newly published writer, I was impossibly excited and shy all at once.

The conference had its moments of terror, such as when I went into the bar to find it deserted (where had all my new friends gone?). But these were outweighed by all the moments of friendliness and welcome: as I fled the scarily deserted bar, I walked past an open window to the accommodation block and was hailed by all my new friends, who summoned me to join the kitchen party they were having. And by the time I left on Monday morning, I knew I’d found my people.

For many of the RNA’s longstanding members, it’s important for us to try to make sure any new members we meet end up feeling the same way. We don’t always manage it—we are writers, after all, a typically shy, introverted bunch who only warm up after a glass of wine—but we’re determined to do our best!

For me, that desire to make all new members feel that they’d “found their people”, prompted me to organise the New Writers’ Scheme for several years—until 2019, when I moved on to become the RNA’s Vice-Chair. It also led to my enthusiastic involvement in the RNA’s initiatives to make our organisation a more welcoming and inclusive place for writers from groups currently under-represented in publishing.

The path to traditional publishing for, for instance, ethnic minority writers and LGBTQIA+ writrs (particularly those who write “own voices” books) is disproportionately harder than for straight white writers (and goodness knows, it’s hard enough for them as well!). This means that writing organisations often have a membership that reflects the state of publishing as it is (straight, white, middle-class) rather than publishing as it could be. Which, in turn, means that whilst someone (like me) who fits that demographic might feel instantly at home in the RNA, someone who falls outside the demographic might not.

As part of our ongoing endeavours to make everyone feel welcome, we’ve changed the venues for our events to make them more accessible to writers with mobility difficulties, we’ve updated our publicity materials to display a (slightly) wider diversity of race and gender, we offer gender-neutral toilets, we’ve created our Rainbow Chapter for LGBTQIA+ members, and we continually revisit our criteria for both membership and entry to our awards to ensure that we include as wide a range of writers and books as possible.

We’ve also embarked on an expansion of the bursaries the RNA has always offered to members in financial need. Over the last couple of years, enabled by the overwhelming generosity of many of our members, we’ve extended them from simple bursaries into grants which offer membership, not only to writers who can’t otherwise afford the membership fee, but to writers from under-represented groups.

This reflects the RNA’s awareness that lack of income isn’t the only barrier that writers meet, and that as an organisation, we need to do what we can to decrease those barriers, or to at least help writers surmount them. Our endeavours to improve the RNA’s inclusivity and diversity are, like so many things in a writer’s life, a work in progress. We’re always open to suggestions (send here, please! imogenhowson@romanticnovelistsassociation.org). And with work, determination, and a willingness to listen and get better, every day we move the RNA closer to being the place where all writers find their people.

 

Imogen is the Vice-Chair of the Romantic Novelists’ Association. She writes fantasy and science fiction for young adults, and is the winner of the young adult category of the Romantic Novel of the Year Award 2014, and of the Elizabeth Goudge Award in 2008 and 2017.

New FOREO Product The ISSA 2

There are toothbrushes and then they are toothbrushes. FOREO are one of my favourite brands, their innovative products always work and their new toothbrush is the latter, a toothbrush that blows all of the others out of the water. It is an electric toothbrush that you only need to charge once a year, that only needs its head replaced once a year, and it is the world’s first silicone sonic toothbrush. It has 16 speeds for customised cleaning and bacteria-resistant silicone design. The sonic pulsations give effective cleaning. It also looks great. It costs £149 and the heads are £17 but you only need to buy one a year. It comes in four gorgeous colours.

I love the fact its head only needs replaced once a year, making it environmentally friendly. Buy it now.

Dare to do more with the improved ISSA 2. By blending durable PBT polymer and ultra-soft silicone into one remarkable sonic toothbrush that now lasts for 365 days on a single charge, ISSA 2 can keep you smiling without a second’s pause. The improved electric toothbrush with dynamic dual-design

The bar for advanced oral care has been raised once again. ISSA 2 features a sleek, waterproof design that sets it apart from the rest. With improved sonic pulse technology, a combination brush head and a new 365 day charge, you’ll get way more mileage for your smile than ever before.

Available from http://foreo.com/, feelunique.com, amazon and harrods.com