Category Archives: Real Life

Financial matters upon divorce or dissolution of civil partnerships

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Hill Dickinson gives Frost Readers the low down on separating.

When the majority of married couples divorce it is likely that there will also be financial matters to deal with. This may include the family home, businesses, pensions or maintenance. The same circumstances will also apply to the dissolution of civil partnerships.

 

It is important that financial matters following a divorce or dissolution are finalised to ensure that you are protected against any future claims from your former husband or wife or civil partner.

 

Financial matters will be resolved when the parties receive a final order from the court. This does not mean that the parties will need to attend court; but legal advice should be sought to ensure that you are protected for the future.

 

If a final financial order is not received then there is a risk that your former husband, wife or civil partner could make a claim in the future.

 

It is important to note that the court will consider financial circumstances at the time they are resolved. Although in some cases the parties’ circumstances at the time of separation may be relevant.

 

The outcome of any court hearing or negotiation will depend massively upon the circumstances of the case. The court in England and Wales has very wide discretion to deal with matrimonial matters as they see fit.

 

There are circumstances where assets acquired during a marriage or civil partnership could be excluded from financial matters upon divorce. So it is imperative to seek advice upon separation.

 

In 2011 the High Court heard a case where they were asked to resolve financial matters following a divorce. The wife had won the lottery during the marriage. Part of the lottery winnings had been used to purchase the matrimonial home.

 

The court found that there is a sharp distinction between “matrimonial” and “non-matrimonial” property. As the lottery ticket had been purchased following separation, with the wife’s sole earnings and without her husband’s knowledge the court found that the lottery winnings were “non-matrimonial”.

 

However, the wife had used some of the lottery winnings to purchase the matrimonial home. The court held that the money spent on the house was converted into “matrimonial” property. The High Court ruled that matrimonial property is more likely to be shared, and consequently the husband was entitled to receive a proportion of the matrimonial home.
These sorts of cases are fact specific and it is for that reason that it is essential that separated couples seek advice as to the legal consequences of their separation.

 

If financial matters are resolved at the time of divorce, the majority of orders will include a clean break. This means that the agreement is in full and final settlement of any claims either party will have against the other in the future. A clean break may not be appropriate for example if monthly maintenance is being paid to a former spouse.

 

Weddings – do and don’t: Creating magical weddings

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Julia Dowling of Snapdragon Parties, the leading luxury wedding and event planners, shares some trade secrets on creating an amazing wedding.

The idea of planning your own wedding sounds like fun to the uninitiated.  But unless you feel confidently creative, are commercially savvy and know how to find the best suppliers out there, it can be daunting.   As professional wedding planners we are most often asked for our top wedding planning tips.

Wedding bride and groom

  1. Do set a realistic budget and stick to it

Even a modest wedding costs a great deal.  Build a budget based on some Internet research and your judgement of how much you are prepared to spend.  As a guide, your budget should be split about forty per cent to catering, ten per cent each to venue or marquee hire, clothes, entertainment, photography and flowers with everything else coming from the remainder.  Don’t assume that hosting your wedding at home will be cheaper, because the entire infrastructure needs to be brought in.  Have honest conversations with all concerned about who will contribute and how much, and do get wedding insurance. Use your budget to guide your choices.  We always start wedding planning with a budget and then help to choose a venue and style of wedding.  Once you have set a budget, stick to it by negotiating hard with suppliers, especially if they were recommended by your venue; they will often be paying commission on your booking.

  1. Don’t pick a venue until you have a clear idea of the type of wedding you want

Many historic buildings impose restrictions on their use; a grade 1 listed castle full of ancient treasures is likely to prohibit use of candles, so if your vision is a candlelit wedding ceremony pick an appropriate venue.  Depending on when you plan to marry think about the likely weather (always have a wet weather plan) and the availability of local accommodation.

  1. Do find ways to weave in your own personality and style

There is much more to styling a wedding than copying an idea from a glossy magazine or adhering to conventional traditions. I often start by asking couples what impression they want to leave their guests with and how we can incorporate elements of their personality into the design scheme.  Other considerations include the season, the exact location, the size of the guest list, favourite colours, the level of formality which is desired and the budget.

In terms of dressing a venue, think macro and micro.  Macro styling means lighting the outside of a building, transforming the interior space and fusing the venue’s character with the nature of your event.  Micro styling means the way you dress the tables, the folding of napkins and your choice of china, glassware, place cards and favours.

Really talented florists will happily interpret your concepts with flowers, candles, feathers, wood, glass or foliage.

  1. Don’t settle for the same old wedding fare

Most caterers’ and venues’ standard menus are pretty boring.  Britain exports some of the finest food all over the world.  While no one goes to a wedding primarily for a gourmet experience, serve your guests some food that they will really appreciate.

  1. Do plan the day from a guest’s perspective

On your wedding day you may be the centre of attention but you are also the host, and so you need to think about the whole day from your guests’ perspective.  This means making sure that it flows naturally, that people aren’t left standing around without a drink while you have pictures taken and that everyone gets to spend at least a little time with you both.

  1. Don’t be afraid to save money where guests won’t notice

Wine needs to be good, but not necessarily a First Growth Bordeaux and you would be amazed at how good a wedding cake from M&S can be (yes, I’m being serious).  Once your florist has constructed something colourful between the tiers, your guests will think you spent a fortune on it!

  1. Do make your wedding stationery stand out

The invitation offers the first indication your guests receive about the character of the event.  While the skilfully engraved traditional invitation undoubtedly retains its timeless appeal, an intricate laser cut creation can be equally impressive.  When picking a stationery style and colour, remember that you have to carry it through for orders of service and table stationery.  Anything too outlandish may make it hard for guests to read the hymns or placecards.

  1. Don’t cut corners on photography

Apart from the marriage, the photographs are the only part of your wedding that will last a lifetime.   There are four basic styles of wedding photography and the best photographers can generally achieve a seamless mix of them all.  The traditional style is ideal for the posed family portraits, contemporary photography tends to be more informal and capture the spirit of the occasion.  Reportage is the fly-on-the-wall approach that captures the detail and flow of your day and the artistic approach, as the name suggests, aims to create the poster shots.    Even if you aren’t particularly traditional you should be cautious about too contemporary a style as you won’t want the photographs to look out of date in a few years.

  1. Do hire a professional to coordinate things on the day

Appoint someone as the coordinator on the day.  This could be a friend, or ideally, a professional.  Without a coordinator, you will spend the whole day worrying about the details yourself, which will significantly reduce your enjoyment.   They need to reconfirm all the details with suppliers, create a detailed running order and oversee the day.  Many wedding venues will offer you an event coordinator but remember that they won’t coordinate anything other than at the wedding venue itself.

  1. Don’t forget why you are doing this!

If you haven’t employed a wedding planner, there will be times during the planning process when you will wonder why you’re doing all this; it will inevitably get pretty stressful at times.  When the bills are flying in and you are worrying about all sorts of seemingly inconsequential details, remember that it will all be worth it in the end – and, after all, you will remember your wedding day forever!

www.snapdragonparties.com

Birth Made Easy Book Review

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birth made easyI have previously interviewed Paola Bagnall. She had a lot of great things to say about giving birth. Now, let’s get down to the book.

The book has a great overview of pregnancy, both Pre and Post. It also comes with a free self hypnosis CD. For those interested in hypnobirthing (and there are rumours that Kate Middleton has joined them) this book is great. Paola believes that pregnancy is not a medical thing but a natural thing that the body is supposed to do. Although I don’t agree that pregnancy is not a medical thing, her ideas are interesting and certainly have merit. She is a qualified hypnotherapist and healed her own shoulder using the power of her mind.

This book has a lot of great information in it for any mother-to-be. Chapter one is about hypnosis and other chapters are about breathing, the biology of the female body, and the biology of birth. They are all very informative and fascinating.

There is also a chapter on how to use the CD. In the getting ready for birth chapter there are a lot of great tips, followed by an entire chapter or problem solving in, ‘What To Do if You Have….’ Nausa and vomiting are covered. As are C-sections and having a large baby.

The books tells you how to use the three stages of hynothearapy for the birth in an easy to understand way and has an entire chapter on how to disassociate yourself from the feelings of the contractions.

The last two chapters are what to do after the birth, a great chapter with some exercises on how to get back into shape, health tips, and enjoying your time as a mother.

This is a very good book for women who want a natural birth, and even has great tips for those who don’t. I can’t say it has convinced me to have a natural birth when I decide to have children, but the information is there for those who do.

Birth Made Easy – The positive and enjoyable way to have a baby easily and naturally using self-hypnosis

The Pre-Baby List: Things To Do Before You Have Children

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gorgeousbabyA pre-baby what? A pre-baby list. Not for women who are pregnant and the dad-to-be, but for people who haven’t had children. Kids might be great but you can’t say they don’t cramp your style. My nephew is now two-years-old and has expanded my brothers life, but also allowed him less freedom. So I am not only compiling a list of things to do in your pre-baby years, but I am also writing a book on it, and I would love you to contribute. Just comment below on the things you think everyone should do before they have children. I have a few of my own below to start things off. I will be adding to the list and also keep you updated on the book. Here goes!

1) Go to Paris on the Eurostar.

2) Go to a music festival.

3) Go to London Fashion Week

4) Go scuba diving.

5) Get your driving license and have a roadtrip around America.

6) Have a roadtrip around Europe.

7) Spend weekends sleeping in late and doing absolutely nothing.

8) Read books

9) Buy the Sunday papers and read them (almost) cover to cover.

10) Learn a new skill

What do you think should be added? Comment below.

Facebook ‘Likes’ More Important Than Birthday Cards

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‘LIKES’ OVERTAKE CARDS AND CAKES AS HOW WE MEASURE THE SUCCESS OF OUR BIRTHDAYS

The impact of social media has totally revolutionised how we celebrate our birthdays according to new research by leading gift card company One4All.

Facebook has become the number one way we wish our friends and loved ones a happy birthday.  76% of us will post a greeting to friends on social media and a quarter of people say that the number of messages they receive is the main way they would measure the success of their birthday.

The research also suggests that many of the traditions that would normally make our day special are being undermined.

60% of people say that they rarely take their birthday as a day off from work and only 15% of people said that they would always have a birthday cake.

The main reason for having a low-key birthday is stress.  A third of people say that they find their own birthdays stressful and would rather celebrate someone else’s.

Declan Byrne, Managing Director UK of One4all, says, “Social media now plays a huge part in all of our lives and it’s interesting to see how it has impacted on the traditional birthday.

“It’s a social shift that is affecting many businesses who provide a service linked to birthday celebrations.  For example, it’s led to us creating online group gifting, where friends can come together through social media to contribute to a joint gift.”

As a result of these findings One4All is also attempting to raise awareness of the need to keep birthday’s special and is launching a social media campaign for people to ‘out’ Birthday Scrooges and encourage them to have a proper, traditional birthday celebration.

“While times do change, it would be nice to think that birthdays will retain their special status,” says Declan. “As a result we want to encourage people to make sure they still take time out to celebrate with friends and family.”

For more information on the social media campaign or if you’d like to nominate a Birthday Scrooge then visit the One4all UK Facebook page.

It’s not just men! Unfaithful women close the infidelity gap

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  • Every 80 seconds a British woman joins AshleyMadison.com, the married dating site with 774,00 UK members and 18 million worldwide
  • 73.1% of unfaithful women feel neglected by their husbands
  • An affair makes it easier to stay in marriage say 57%
  • Better sex with husbands since having an affair for 32%

Infidelity has traditionally been male territory, but according to new statistics from Ashley Madison.com, women are currently signing up to UK site at a rate of one every 80 seconds.

The site’s founder, ‘King of Infidelity’ and ex-sports attorney Noel Biderman, says: ‘Given that a new AshleyMadison.com member of either sex joins the site every 45 seconds in Britian and that globally only a third of our members are women, this figure is far higher than we would expect. The only other country where we are seeing this pattern is Australia.’

In a new AshleyMadison.com survey of actively unfaithful women in Britain, 57% said that having an affair makes it easier for them to stay in their marriage and 32% reported better sex lives with their husbands since their affair.

Cheating women comparison . what a cheater looks like. Feeling neglected by their husbands and not having their emotional needs met was the most common motivation for women being unfaithful (73.1%).

‘This is no surprise,’ says Noel Biderman. ‘Many women lack attention and affection and it’s miserable to feel lonely within your own marriage. The reality is that many people can’t leave their partners for financial reasons and women in particular are usually reluctant to sacrifice their family life. So they are taking care of their needs outside marriage in the same way that men always have. They’re stepping into the male arena when it comes to infidelity.’

For 67.2%, an unfulfilled sex life was the reason for cheating. ‘Men typically reach their sexual peak in their 20s, for women it’s later, in their 30s or 40s when they feel more comfortable with their bodies. This discrepancy is one reason for the lack of sex that these women are feeling. Everyone wants to be desired, who can blame these women for looking elsewhere?’

64% of the women were educated to degree level with the majority working in admin (PAs and receptionists) or the health sector, including nurses.

 

Bar Keepers Friend Review

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Bar Keepers FriendI am not keen on chemicals. I believe there is too many chemicals in the stuff we use today, especially cleaning products. When I got sent Bar Keepers Friend to review, I was very pleased that there wasn’t a lot of ingredients. Two in fact: citric acid and oxalic acid. I immediately like the cleaner. Let’s see if it works.

I used the products on different areas of the house. They came in a spray (used on surfaces and the bathroom) a cream (used on the cooker and harder areas) and a stain remover.

The natural ingredients do much better than their chemical loaded counterparts. The stain remover gets rid of any stain and I even use the power spray on my bike. I am impressed and I am also converted. Top marks. Will use again.

 

New Bar Keepers Friend is a traditional, quirky,niche cleaning product first launched in America in 1882 but now being relaunched with two new cleaning ‘friends’ – a NEW Power Cream and NEW Power Spray.

 

BKF is great for specific jobs that require something a little more specialist and works a treat on stainless steel, glass, chrome, brass, copper, aluminium, porcelain, tiles etc and can be used in the kitchen, bathroom, garage, shed, on bikes, cars and boats plus many other applications!
The presence of Oxalic Acid found in rhubarb gives Bar Keepers Friend the edge and it is this unique formulation that can cut through rust grease and oil, mineral deposits and stains.

 

First launched in 1882, the BKF range is being enhanced and extended, and aims to fully

capitalise on its claim of “Once Tried Always Used.”

 

Bar Keepers Friend Stain Remover Powder (250g, RSP: £2.79) will be complimented by two

exciting, new products from the US:

 

NEW Bar Keepers Friend Power Cream – a superior cream formulation that “cleans where

others fail”. Formulated for cookware, kitchens and bathrooms (350ml, RSP: £2.99).

 

NEW Bar Keepers Friend Power Spray – this easy-to-use format delivers BKF cleaning

power for use in everyday cleaning situations, from kitchen and bathroom to stainless steel

and glass (500ml RSP: £2.99).

 

Bar Keepers Friend is a premium, specialist cleaner with a non-bleach formula that can

be used in the kitchen, bathroom, garage and shed! It removes stubborn stains and cuts

through mineral deposits, oil and grease, rust stains and everyday grime giving great results

on stainless steel, tile, porcelain, fibreglass, aluminium, copper, brass, chrome and glass. It

cleans work surfaces (is recommended by Corian), cookers, cookware, sinks, toilets as well

as cars, bicycles and golf clubs..

 

Other top-selling cleansers containing chlorine bleach which are not recommended for use

on stainless steel. BKF benefits from the unique cleaning power of Oxalic Acid (found in

rhubarb, parsley and chives) and when combined with its unique mineral base and surfactant

blend, delivers a unique cleaning performance.

 

BKF owes its existence to rhubarb! Back in 1882 a chemist from Indianapolis noticed how

clean and shiny his tarnished pot was after cooking rhubarb.

 

Using an active ingredient that’s found in the plant he made a talcum smooth cleaner and sold it to the city’s taverns. It

worked so well that it was called ‘Bar Keepers Friend’! BKF boasts a long and successful

heritage that few modern day equivalent products can match.

 

BKF is available in Robert Dyas, Lakeland, John Lewis, Waitrose, independent homeware/

hardware stores or online at www.barkeepersfriend.co.uk. It is distributed in the UK by

Kilrock Products Ltd.

 

The Five Worst Things A Woman Can Do

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GillianPublicityShotPeople can be their own worst enemies sometimes, and women are no exception. In fact, I believe women can be very hard on themselves. So I have made a list of the top five worst things a woman can do to damage her life.

Settling Down With Someone You Do Not Love.

The biological clock is probably the worst thing that ever happened to a woman. It can make us go a bit crazy. A male friend once described woman in their mid-thirties as ‘terrified and terrifying’. Quite unfair and he was about the same age himself. Worst than that, it can make some woman settle for a man they do not love so they can get married and have children. I completely understand this, I really do. Even in 2013 there is a ‘status’ thing between married and unmarried woman, and there certainly is one between the childless and those with children.

The media is full of stories about leaving it too late and this can cloud a woman’s judgement. But deep down, you always know whether or not you love someone. Relationships are hard enough if you do love someone. A relationship chosen because of your biological clock fears will never be a happy one, nor last.

It can also be hard to end a relationship with someone you do not love anymore. The fear of being single is a very real one for a lot of people, but it is only fair on you and the person you are dating. You will both find partners that you are meant to be with.

I came across this amazing quote from Kelly Brook in Easy Living magazine: “I’m not scared to walk away when things aren’t working. I’m not scared of being single, of not having kids. What I am scared of is being stuck in something negative. That is what I am most proud of: having the confidence to know I deserve everything.”

Starve Herself

The pressure to be thin can be tremendous. This pressure comes from the media and other women. It rarely comes from men. If a man loves you he won’t mind if you pack on a couple of pounds.

When I was in drama school I heard stories of women eating cotton balls soaked in orange juice to stay thin. The very idea of it is insane. If you starve yourself your body will not get any nutrients. You will damage your fertility, your health and your hair will fall out. I have heard way too much about starvation diets, that is not a diet, it is anorexia. Let’s stop it now.

Another thing: The whole Curvy versus Skinny thing is a war that should never be waged. Different people are supposed to be different sizes. Diversity is beautiful.

Let a Man Pay For Everything

There is nothing wrong with the man paying for the first date in my opinion. Especially as the women has already probably spent a fortune on a new dress and beauty treatments. However, letting a man pay for everything gives him the control in the relationship. It also makes it harder to walk away if the relationships stops working and you are not financially stable. A woman should always have a means of making money. If not, she has no control of her own future. Virginia Woolf has a famous quote that ‘A woman must have money and a room of her own’. I could not put it better myself.


Judge Another Woman’s Choices.

Woman can be really hard on each other. The truth is that sometimes when we judge it is actually a mixture of envy and admiration. Life does not give everything to one person. When you make a choice another option ends. The grass can seem greener on the other side. When women judge each other it holds us all back. It is time to live and let live.

 

Take Her Foot Off The Pedal

Another thing that some woman do is slowing down or quitting, even before they realise they have done so. When you start to think about children you can take your foot off the gas pedal. This can manifest in not applying for promotions, not going after something with a passion or not following a dream. The expectation of getting pregnant can stop you in your tracks, but do not let it. You never know what will happen in life and maybe you will not want to be a stay-at-home mum. Stay passionate and go after what you want.

What do you think women do to sabotage themselves?