Next Weeks TV Picks: 26th Apr

Posted on by

Monday 26 April 11:10pm Channel 4
Hello and good evening and welcome you lil’ ruffians, I feel as though a drastic change in my writin’ style is required to tell you about my marvellous decision of viewing on the tellybox on the 26thday of the month of April right, ten minutes passed the eleventh hour of the evening is a show entitled ‘Skinned’ where the cheeky northern monkey Frank Skinner has a lovely chin waggle with the beautifully faced Russell Brand. Things they talk about is Brands SachsGate debacle, his early career, his problems with his arm candy and showin’ him on stage andbehind it. (Note: as this is read, please flail arms about and switch speech patterns and accents between East London market trader and upper class Mayfair snob)

Tuesday 27 April 10:00pm More4
After Monday’s frivolities with Mr Brand, Tuesday’s selections are an altogether more sober and grown up affair. 22:00 on More4, True Stories: Vote Afghanistan. A documentary showing the read about but not often seen Afghan Presidential Elections of 2009, following the Campaign Trails of the challengers to President Karzai, and hearing from the people whose lives were put at risk for wanting a new Leader.

Wednesday 28 April 6:50pm Film4
Dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna dunna BATMAN…That’s right kids, Bat-time 18:50 Bat-channel Film4, see the original televised Batman Adam West (‘Family Guy’s’ Mayor of Quahog for our younger readers) in a feature length episode of the much loved, more parodied 1960’s show, expect more POW’S and KAZAAMS than you can chuck a Battarang at. And for those not feeling nostalgic, people kick a football about on ITV at 19:30.

Thursday 29th April 9.45pm Sky Movies Showcase
Last weeks ‘Picks’ told of Charlie Brookers ‘You Have Been Watching’ (ch4 22:00) and Psychoville (Dave 22:20) andI struggled to findsomething worth watching other than these again this week, but fortunately at 21:45 Sky Movies Showcase is showing Watchmen (18), the story of an outlawed Masked Adventurer group having to get back into their costumes and resume their world saving roles once again. Taken from the award winning comic book, Watchmen not only has the obligatory superhero action but also delves into the psyche of those who would want to dress in tights an fight crime (just watch out for the awful love-making scene to the tune of Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’).

Friday 30 April 10:35pm Channel 4
It is very difficult not say Army Of Darkness (TCM 21:00), Sam Raimi’s brilliant sequel to the equally brilliant Evil Dead films, but I know that Bruce Campbell as store clerk Ash running aroundthe 1300’s with a chainsaw for an arm an a sawn-off shotgun killing the undead is not everyone’s cup of tea, so instead I shall recommend tuning into channel 4 at 22:35 for The Ricky Gervais Show, an animated version of his podcasts featuring Stephan Merchant and Karl Pilkington, expect much hilarity to ensue. Straight after on the same channel is Heroes of Comedy detailing Ricky Gervias’ rise to fame. So basically….a night in with Ricky.

Saturday 01 May 6:25pm BBC1
Dave, the whole day, QI.
Who can resist spending a whole day awash with knowledge delivered via the dulcet tones of Mr Stephan Fry, until of course 18:25 when its over to BBC 1 for the second part of last weeks Doctor Who, will he be able to escape an army of The Weeping Angels? My guess is yes, I mean…he’s the Doctor.

Sunday 02 May 10:20pm Five
I think its safe to say that most of us have had it up to the jugular with Vampires, they are taking up too much screen time in their films and TV shows, I feel its time we gave some other monsters a chance, and that’s exactly what FIVE are doing at 22:20. The Highlands of Scotland are the setting for the movie Dog Soldiers, a gory comedic tale of a small squad of British army men on a training mission coming face to face with a pack of werewolves and are forced to fight when the full moon rises.

If Ceri had a band… {Ceri's Column}

Posted on by

Well I’ll tell you one thing. My band would have a shitty name.

I’m just not the kind of person who can reel off a catchy group moniker. I just don’t seem to have the…knack. I mean, titles for stories, my lil’ TV scripts, character names, even bloody baby names for Christ’s sake (spell-check MADE me capitalize Christ…see, they did it again….). Band names? Nope.

So on the night of our 1st gig at some trendy bar in <insert name of wanky suburb of some in-vogue town/city>, we’d probably have the set list memorized, each of our costumes would be matching, I’d even have little inter-song audience banter bits sussed. But our name? Still missing, I’d imagine.

I’m rather partial to a bit of “extreme” music, (or metal to you norms), and I firmly believe that metal band names reign supreme. Some of the coolest are…

  • Agoraphobic Nosebleed – Cool
  • Pig Destroyer – COOL
  • Prong – simple yet COOL
  • Gay for Johnny Depp – Um… (*Author’s note* aren’t we all…a little…no? I’ll shut up then…)
  • Old Man Gloom – quirky and carries a sense of foreboding
  • Killing Joke – Just yes. Yes. Thank you. What a name. Icicle cool.

I wouldn’t stand a bloody chance! My band would limp on with a name like “The Jolly Rodgers” or “Wittgenstein’s Shame” or “We are on Stage!”…something ball-crunchingly crap or pretentious or nonsensical.

Probably why I don’t have a band, really…that and not being able to play an instrument. Or carry a tune. Or know anyone else who can do either who isn’t already in a band…

I’m a bit deflated now. I’ll just drink some beers and watch Edward Scissorhands. Oh, I mean…

Nah. Edward Scissorhands.

IBM Researchers create cute teenytiny 3D world map

Posted on by

And it’s so small that 1,000 of them can fit on a salt crystal!

It measures 22 by 11 micrometers and is etched onto a polymer surface. Mount Everest is about 64 nanometers high.

They’re hoping the technology could be used for nano-scale electronics and medical devices.

IBM scientist Urs Duerig says in a company video that “It’s like the ancient Egyptians chiseled their stuff into stone plates. Here we have the analogue, but on the nano-scale,”

 httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ9J0EYUlhg

James Randi wants to give you $1,000,000

Posted on by

…and all you need to do is prove that the paranormal exists under scientific conditions.

The challenge has been open since 1964 and no-one’s won yet.

Past claims have included ESP, dowsing, astrology, faith, healing etc. Infact, you’re allowed to prove most things unless you’re trying to harm someone.

Would you like more info? All the details of the challenge are located here.

Here’s a very interesting talk James Randi gave at the TED 2007 conference where he takes a fatal dose of homeopathic sleeping pills onstage.

For more info go to Randi.org

I'm a Sega Mega Drive, and being AWESOME was my idea! {Ceri's Column}

Posted on by

They really don’t make video game systems like this anymore! Sure, games these days are flashier, more expensive, have better graphics, cooler music and snappy writing and have more storyline-based sexiness blah blah blah…but I can’t help but feel…I LOVED THE SEGA MEGA DRIVE MORE.

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 is all very well and good but I don’t feel like I’m “playing” anymore. The Sega was like…a toy…you remember…fun? Escapism?

Most of my school mates circa 1995 were still playing the pantsy little SNES. Seriously, this console makes Hello Kitty look positively mantacular. I was too busy fighting Doctor Robotnik as my speedy blue hedgehog alter ego to care about the mushroom killing exploits of a beer-bellied Italian plumber.

The one all-conquering ultra game that proves beyond all possible argument that the Mega Drive roolz (yes I spelled it like that, fucking deal with it you square):

Toejam and Earl!

For you unenlightened few who are yet to bask in the glory –

In 1991 Johnson Voorsanger Productions made a game about two space alien rappers who crash land on earth. In this 3D roving, birthday present collecting, elevator finding, wise cracking super-game, 1 or 2 players control either red three-legged Toejam or Hawaiian short-wearing slightly obese Big Earl. You walk about the randomly generated worlds trying to recover bits of your broken spaceship. On the way you encounter troublesome Earthlings like the lil’ devils, hula girls, phantom ice cream trucks and marauding bands of tomato-cannon firing chickens.

YES! It is this insane. YES! It is that good! Get on eBay and buy it. Seriously now. Buy a Sega Mega Drive to play it on as well…I probably should have mentioned that first… You can get the console for £30 or thereabouts and Toejam and Earl (the 1st one, the sequal was wank) for a few quid, but they probably cost much less on eBay!

This game is the bollocks! I guarantee that within 5 minutes of playing it you’ll be quoting it for years. I have…

God I need a life…JAMMIN’!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33iYLYRMLSk

Coming Soon: Four Lions

Posted on by

Once in a while a film is set to be released an my lil movie buff heart gets all a flutter only for it to be dashed on the cutting room floor amoungst all the celluloid off cuts. It happened with Lord of the Rings, a movie that promised epic battles, fantastical magics and a quest to end all quests and yes it delivered these but it bought with it boredom and a special extended edition you need a week put aside to watch. I also got all excited about ‘The Scariest Film in 10 years’ Paranormal Activity. Finally, I foolishly thought, a film that I can compare to The Shining (scariest film ever) but it wasn’t to be. That film makes me angry just thinking about it, its just bad.
Then I heard about a small film called Four Lions


The reason it piqued my interest was for the inclusion of one name….Chris Morris. Morris is the brilliant mind that bought us The Day Today and Brass Eye along with other great comedy shows and many appearances in TV comedy. Known as a ‘Media Terrorist’ and always happy to viciously satirise current events, Morris, who has teamed up with writers Jesse Armstrong (Peep Show, The Thick of It), Sam Bain (Peep Show, Smack The Pony) and with additional writing by Simon Blackwell (The Armstrong and Miller Show, The Thick of It) hasn’t eased up at all with his new movie Four Lions, a comical (and occasionally farcical) look at jihadism. Most would shy away from turning such a hot political potato as the threat of ongoing terrorism into a film we can laugh at, but pushing the boundaries is what Morris is good at, and a story about four bumbling, confused but enthusiastic Islamic fundamentalist wannabe terrorists is well within his grasp. The film follows four men, Omar (Riz Ahmed), Waj (Kayvan Novak), Faisal (Adeel Akhtar) and Barry (Nigel Lindsay) through jihad training camps in Pakistan and fooling bulk retailers of bleach by hiding their beards behind their hands as they plan and hope for glory in Northern England with a wit that only these writers can deliver.
A film that promises to dig up as many angry letter writers as it does full on belly laughs, Four Lions is one to look out for and to go see with friends who can see the funny side of anything.

Four Lions is showing in cinemas in the UK from the 7th May.