Strike Back {TV Preview}

Next Wednesday night at 9 o’clock, Sky1HD will show the first two episodes of its new drama series based on former SAS operative Chris Ryan’s bestselling novel Strike Back. Ryan is best known as being the only member of the famous Bravo Two Zero patrol in the first Gulf War to evade capture. After writing a book about his long journey by foot to Syria, thought to be the most difficult escape a British solider has ever made, he began a successful career as a novelist.

It’s the last of the three novels Sky bought the rights to adapt two years ago as part of a £10m commitment to home-grown drama, following Tim Roth’s starring role in David Almond’s Skellig and the excellent adaptation of Martina Cole’s The Take. The route of adapting popular fiction was taken by Sky after seeing the success of their versions of some of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books, the latest of which, Going Postal, will be airing towards the end of May. The channel has also made other forays into producing drama, from being co-producers on the internationally acclaimed reimagining of Battlestar Galactica, to its little-known but fondly remembered witchcraft drama Hex, and for many years the long-running Premiership football soap Dream Team. But Strike Back is perhaps Sky’s most ambitious drama project yet.

Shot on 35mm film on location in South Africa, it’s clear that Sky are attempting to recreate the high-budget, high-octane action of its most popular American imports such as 24, which remains a big hit for the channel in it’s final season. The cinematic feel is noticed by star Richard Armitage, best known for his roles in Spooks and Robin Hood, who plays John Porter, a veteran of the 2003 invasion of Iraq.

“It’s an ambitious project for television,” he says. “We’ve made three feature films on a TV budget and schedule. But the advantage of that is that these three feature films are linked together so you get a really interesting character arc through all episodes. American television is being brave and doing that at the moment, and this is stepping into that area.”

The first episode begins with events in 2003, with John Porter leading a Special Forces Unit, including Hugh Collinson (Andrew Lincoln, of This Life and Teachers), across the border into Basra. Their mission ends in disaster, something which haunts Porter for many years following his return home to Britain, when he quits the army. We then jump to 2010, and Collinson is now a senior intelligence officer. A journalist is kidnapped in Iraq, and the perpetrator has links to that fateful day in 2003. He calls Porter back into action and, keen to redeem himself, he agrees.

As Armitage mentioned, over the six-episode series three separate two-hour stories play out, first in Iraq, then in Zimbabwe, then finally in Afghanistan and Pakistan. The series will be shown over three weeks, two episodes at a time, adding to the movie-like feel. Chris Ryan was closely involved in the production, acting as series consultant and script advisor. He’s enjoying seeing his novel transferred to the screen.

Ryan says, “When you produce a novel it’s like a child and to see it put onto screen opens it up to a greater audience. I class myself as a storyteller now, and to tell that story on paper is a great privilege, then to see it on screen is even better.”

The cast also includes Ewen Bremner, Colin Salmon and Orla Brady. It’ll be interesting to follow the story of Collinson and Porter’s interlinking lives, but it’ll be just as interesting to see if Sky has finally been able to come up with an action drama series that can stand alongside the big hits from across the Atlantic.

Catch Chris Ryan’s Strike Back on Wednesday 5 May, 9pm on Sky1 and Sky1 HD.

Florence + Florence by Alexa Brown {Style}

Mother and daughter team, Florence and Florence, are a particularly endearing set-up. In their front room in north London we have arranged ourselves amongst pots of tea and decorative cake stands to discuss their new business selling ‘re-loved’ vintage goods. The conversation pings about between them; sentences are shared and overlapped as they discuss the perils of living and working together, the unexpected benefits of the recession and their shared love of all things second-hand.

“Mum’s always done what we do with Florence and Florence, collecting beautiful things and mending them, and making things from re-loved material. We’ve had so many people comment on it in our house over the years. I think Mum thought it was something everybody did” says her daughter, Annie, 25. Since October last year when they came up with the idea the two women, Annie and Chris, 54, have been sourcing second-hand kitchen equipment, furniture, tea sets, picnic sets, old Penguin books, luggage trunks and much more, giving the old and battered items a lick of paint, new covers, or replacing their handles or loose stitching.

Annie explains their preference of the term ‘second-hand’ to ‘vintage’: “on eBay they’ll buy something from TK Maxx, sell it the next day and it’s ‘vintage’. It doesn’t mean anything. Some of our things are over 100 years old, some are newer, so we just wanted to say it is all second-hand.”

Although they reject the current vintage trend, their mission statement is to show the glamorous side of second-hand. Chris explains: “I was brought up with war-time parents who made everything. But I’m also a great believer in second-hand, so I’ve always bought second-hand clothes and second-hand furniture”. After sourcing the items from charity shops, markets and auctions they have set about making them beautiful again and ready to sell.

When they came up with the idea for Florence and Florence, Annie was training as a chartered surveyor (after a philosophy degree at UCL and an MSC in Real Estate Appraisal at Reading). Chris was running the administration for numerous companies including her husband’s, a collection of jobs she is continuing at present. Her career has been a varied one: “I gave up full time working in advertising when I had Will [her older son]. Then when Annie was five my husband and I set up our own business. So I was a full time Mum for seven years.”

Both women have always enjoyed sourcing beautiful second-hand things for their family home. There is a nostalgic quality to their products often harking from the 1940s and 50s. “I suppose the tea-time things are me with their Famous Five, back to the future feel, with sandwiches, cake – that’s harking back to my childhood” says Chris.

As a woman in her mid-fifties embarking on a new career, it is possible she draws a connection between herself and Florence and Florence’s products: “It’s the idea that these things have been loved and useful, like that slide box” she says, indicating an attractive wooden box full of small compartments. “Somebody’s had their treasured slide collection in it and it’s been discarded. Now we’ve put dividers in and made it lovely, and it will go on to be a jewellery box or something, somewhere else. I really like that idea, that things that have been loved or treasured are now going on to have another life.”

They both acknowledge the useful timing of the recession. “There’s definitely been a resurgence of interest in mending and making – I don’t really like the expression ‘make do and mend’ because making do implies compromise, being resigned to something less than perfect – but ‘make and mend’.”

Annie believes Florence and Florence can help younger people struggling in the recession who are unable to buy new products to furnish their homes. “A large part of our market will be people of my age, setting up their first home, post-university, finished with being a student who want a proper home with a proper look.”

The family business also includes Chris’s husband, Bill, who designed the logo and luggage tag-style labels. All three live together until Annie is able to move back out of the family home. The working dynamic seems very successful; the only awkward moment of the interview comes when they discuss the ups and downs of both living and working together. After copious amounts of praise Annie ventures her one dislike: “When we get home from sourcing and we’ve been out all day Mum will make me get out every single receipt, go through every product and have it all written down and catalogued immediately.” Chris defends herself but agrees: “The worst thing is this having to be the baddy and say “come on Annie, get the receipts out, I need to do this now” – having to nag at you to do the things which I know are important, but you don’t rate as high”.

It sounds pretty familiar to anyone who has tried to work in collaboration with a family member, and in general the division of labour seems to work comfortably between them. Chris runs the finances, the spreadsheets, and most of the sewing. Annie is in charge of developing the website, setting up the business processes, sales, and using social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter to spread the Florence And Florence word.

Chris proudly explains how the business benefits from their different skills: “I’m not a parent who has to pretend I know everything about everything all the time – it’s being able to learn things from a grown-up daughter, and be able to say you do that, you’re the expert there.”

The benefit seems to work both ways. As well as Chris’s uber organisation, “Annie has the most amazing ability to say “Mum just be happy, enjoy it”. When I was getting really stressed about fitting everything in for the launch, Annie said no, think of it as a challenge, it’s thrilling, it’ll all be fine – and it was fine!”

[www.florenceandflorence.com]


10 random things you pick up on set as an actor.

Catherine and Genevieve on the weirdness of their careers….

howtobeasuccessful_actor_book_cover

I had the idea for this article when an old friend asked me what I had been up to. The answer was: lots of stuff that seems very weird if you’re not an actor. I called Genevieve and she agreed. We have to let people know how bloody weird our lives get. As an actor you always have those moments when you’re dressed like someone else, on a set that is made to look somewhere else, saying lines that a writer wrote. It is utterly surreal and you realise that this is my life. So, here is our top ten in no particular order…
1. Don’t drink the props…
I once watched an actress drink half a bottle of neat blackcurrant cordial as the production person in charge of getting grape juice couldn’t find any on time. Of course she felt incredibly sick. You never know what’s going to be in your glass or cup, it’s like drink roulette, it could be sparkling apple or it could be ginger beer. It might be cold coffee, or it just might not have sugar in it. It might be one take, or it might be twenty. It’s just not worth the risk.
[Genevieve]
2. How to pickpocket.
Filming can be boring. Incredibly so.  It was while sitting on a Pokerstar commercial ( a shoot that was actually fun. Mostly due to the amazing cast and crew. ) that I learned a rather old school trick that should help if the acting work ever dries up. How to pickpocket. Basically, you ‘bump’ into someone. Then you apologize. When you bump into them you swiftly grab their wallet  out of their pocket. They are so distracted that they don’t notice. Also they do not feel it as you hit them somewhere else. Genius!
Note: I take no responsibility for anyone actions or legal issues that come from trying this.
[Catherine]
3. How to dance like a drunken youth…
…In freezing subzero conditions, in a mini skirt in the dead of night no less. There I was literally contracting hypothermia on the set of The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus, I was vaguely aware of the Director; Terry Gilliam; telling us to be more lively and act more drunkenly…in the same way I was vaguely aware of my toes. Before I knew it, I was being used in a drunken dance demonstration; being swung about by a be-hatted Terry who was doing a brilliant impression of a raucous drunkard.
[Genevieve]
4. How to stamp on the original Eighth Dr Who’s head without hurting him.
At the beginning of the year I was cast as a 17 year old thug. I complete stretch if you know me. I got a part in the up coming TV series ‘Luther.’ I had to stamp on Paul McGann’s head. Because Paul is such a big star I had to first meet up with the stunt coordinator so I didn’t actually smack him in the face. Or worse. Kill him.
So at a brewery in East London I met up with the stunt coordinator. Who promptly hits me in the face. It hurts. I get the irony but I laugh it off. So, on set – kep out of the way of the stunt coordinator’s elbows.
[Catherine]
5. No matter how good your work is, nothing is sacred.
I spent a good hour in a Holby City make-up chair while various injuries were applied to me. My unfortunate character; Shazia Khan; was supposed to have been in a car crash and as a result had a horrible head and leg injury. The leg injury was pretty spectacular and grossed everybody out. I get on set and was so disappointed when they decided to give me a blanket and the wound got covered up.
[Genevieve]
6. How not to embarrass yourself in front of Dustin Hoffman.
The title is actually a lie. I did not manage this, I have met Dustin Hoffman a few times now and he is quite lovely. On the set of Last Chance Harvey I saw Dustin waving and smiling. I smiled and waved back. Only to realise that he was waving at the person behind me….Mortified to this day. He was nice about it though.
[Catherine]
7. How to survive a zombie apocalypse…
In an apocalypse, the only thing you need is well trained zombies and a fight coordinator!! Especially when fighting zombie hoards with nothing but your bare fists and a toy banjo. In all seriousness, the last thing you want to do is damage yourself/other actors/a grade II listed building. Some inexperienced actors can get carried away and not realise that what they’re doing could be dangerous. So always listen to the person in charge.
[Genevieve]
8. How to motivate an actor to push you down the stairs.
On the set of ‘Zombie Apocalypse’ I not only decapitated a zombie ( lots of fun, done with special effects and precise spade movements ) I had to throw a zombie down the stairs. This is obviously not a real zombie. it’s a person and I don’t want to kill him. After two takes he is not feeling it. So, he says to me ‘If you hurt me I will buy you a drink.’ The next take the director gets his shot and the zombie comes up to me limping and says: ‘I owe you a drink.’ Oh well. All is fair in love and film-making.
[Catherine]
9. How to work with imaginary characters and scenery…
…in front of a green screen, when the other actors can’t be bothered to sit in as they assume they’re not in the shot, working with fictional monsters, people materialising a meter in front of you. You may or may not be provided with a tennis ball on a stick. You’ll look and feel ridiculous but remember…it’ll look amazing in the end.
[Genevieve]
10. Brian Moloko will show you how to put a drip in your hand.
At Three Mills Studio in East London, with make up that makes me look like a junkie, I met a childhood hero. Brian Moloko and he showed me the correct way to put a drip in my hand. Doubt I will use this skill but if a career in nursing ever beckons….
[Catherine]

For more on acting and how to be a successful actor, check out my book: How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur.

The Inept Girl's Guide to Cooking. Catherine Balavage learns how to cook….

I have been spoilt. This is, obviously, not a complaint. Just an observation. My entire life I have been surrounded by good cooks. Most of my childhood memories are of dinner time. My parents also loved to bake. I was raised on wholesome, delicious, home cooking.

As a child I could bake fairy cakes and sponge cakes. Do a mean lasagne or spag bol. I sat in the kitchen with my family and partook in the wonderful, bonding thing that is cooking.

However, in recent years this has all changed. I live a busy London life and I rarely cook from scratch. If I do I lack imagination. Always falling on the dishes I have been doing for years. I have now decided that this will not do. I will learn to cook. I will have a large variety of dishes at my disposal. I will be a domestic goddess. I will get someone to taste the food each week to give their opinion. This is the first article in my journey.

Sunday April 25th 2010.

I decide to start easy: spaghetti bolognese! I am good at this. I have been doing it for years. I don’t want my confidence knocked straight away. And I fail…. James brings the ingredients around and I have a heart attack because MY MAC WON’T WORK! How can I write a column without a computer? Luckily I know someone who knows someone who has amazing IT skills. I unpack the food and pour some wine. I switch my computer on and put it on the freezer and I watch, happy and amazed, as Ewan ( Currently my favourite person in the world ) remotely fixes my computer from Scotland. I even talk to Ewan through textedit.

While Ewan does his impressive fix up of my Mac I give some onions a chop. I pour some mince in a pot and, erm, James does the rest. I have fallen into my old habits. I do, however, have a good reason this time. I will not lie. I did some stirring and I drank some wine, and nothing else. I am aware this is not a good start….

An hour and a half later we have cooked and ate:

Starter: Insalate caprese. Buffalo Mozzarella, basil, tomato drizzled with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

Main: Spaghetti bolognese.

Brown mince, chop onions and fry, boil some tomatoes and then peel. Put all ingredients in one pot. Optional, but you can add some buffalo mozzarella. Cook spaghetti and Put that in too. You have a very good and easy to make dish.

This is actually different from how I usually make it. Probably because I didn’t. I add tomatoes puree,tinned chopped tomatoes, onions, mushrooms and garlic. I brown the mince and then add the ingredients. I cook pasta separately.

Verdict: The food is amazing. You can never go wrong with Italian. I give it 10/10. The only Spaghetti bolognese I have tasted that I like more than the ones my parents make. Check back next week for my next column. Where I will actually cook.

The other good result? My Mac now works perfectly.

James Yardley on The Elusive Peace – An examination into the future of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

The Elusive Peace – An examination into the future of the Arab-Israeli conflict.

Part 1 – What are Israel’s Options Regarding the Occupied Territories of the West Bank and Gazza?

Its now almost 75 years since the first attempt was made to divide Palestine into separate Jewish and Arabic states. Back then the British Peel commission recommended that 80% of the land in Palestine should make up part of a new Arab state. Today it’s hard to imagine such a proposal was ever considered. Since the Peel proposal a Jewish state has been created and gone on to prosper but the Palestinians remain without the state they have been seeking for so long. But Israel’s options over what to do with the occupied territories are limited and diminishing. Has the time finally come for the creation of the elusive Palestinian state?

In 1988 King Hussein of Jordan renounced all claims and ties with the occupied territories (Gazza and the West Bank). This ruled out one of Israel’s major options for the territories which they had been occupying since the 1967 war. Many Israeli’s had hoped that the Palestinian problem could be solved with a peace agreement with Jordan. The West Bank would be divided between Israel and Jordan. Jordan would then take on the difficult responsibility of governing the Palestinians.

After Jordan pulled out of the West Bank calls for a Palestinian state became increasingly vocal. It was much harder for Israel to ignore the Palestinians and the Palestinian Liberation Organisation (PLO) since Jordan stated, ‘the PLO is the sole legitimate representative of the Palestinian people’. Prior to the withdrawal Israel had always been able to avoid dealing with the Palestinians directly, dealing instead with Jordan. After 1988 this was no longer an option.

Jordan’s decision left Israel with only 2 options over what to do with the occupied territories. The first is a one state solution, whereby the Israel annexes the West Bank and the Gaza strip, thereby assimilating them with the rest of Israel. However this is never considered a realistic option by the Israeli government or Israeli Jews. To assimilate the millions of Palestinians would defeat the purpose of a Jewish state and many fear it would threaten its existence.

This leaves Israel with the only one viable option, a two state solution. The creation of a separate Palestinian state encompassing both the West Bank and the Gazza strip, alongside the existing Israeli state. This is what the Palestinians want and given we know a one state solution is not an option, this is surely what Israel wants as well. A poll in 2007 showed that 70% of Israeli Jews were in favour of a two state solution. So why is it so hard to implement if both sides want the same thing? Why are negotiations always at a permanent stalemate?

Despite that lack of options remaining most Israeli’s are certainly in no rush to create a Palestinian state. It has been 22 years since Jordan renounced it ties with the West Bank and it still appears as if a Palestinian state is a long way off.

There is also a third option for Israel which we have not yet considered. That is a policy of maintaining the status quo or consolidation. A number of the right wing parties openly endorse this policy some of whom are part of Benjamin Netanyahu’s (prime minister of Israel) fragile coalition government. Likud itself (the right wing party Netanyahu leads) does not believe in a fully sovereign independent Palestinian state.

The Palestinian situation is also much more complicated. Many still refuse to recognise Israel’s right to exist. Some will settle for nothing less than the complete replacement of Israel with a Palestinian state.

The situation has been severely complicated by large divisions within both sides. The next article will take a closer look into these internal divisions. Why do some Israelis fear a Palestinian state and should they? Why is Israel still building new settlements in East Jerusalem? Will Hamas moderate? What is the future for Fatah? Is there any hope for a settlement in the near future?

Dear DONOVAN: The Price of Shame

Oh fer-… ; DONOVAN. The unforgiving, cynical, potty mouthed agony uncle. How he knows so much about reality TV is anyones guess, well I s’pose they say it IS a breeding ground for hate.

** Disclaimer: The views, colourful language and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Frostmagazine.com **

DEAR DONOVAN

What ever happened to Fame Academy one hit wonder David Sneddon?

Karen, Colchester

Urrm we all realised he was utter shit? I actually bought a copy of his (one and only single) for each of my sisters. I have one sister. And I hate her!

The TRUTH of the matter is that he was aborted from the womb of showbusiness faster than you can say Leon Jackson….I am now smirking at the thought of you googling Leon Jackson:

You voted for them both to WIN, people!!!!!… unless we want to blame it on phone scams? Really?

Anyway, I digress, but just one example of the problems with David Sneddon was that he pretended to be Scottish to win the Celtic vote! In hindsight and with the right guys behind him (unintentional gay reference) he could have used it as a gimmick for marketing and advertising … just like fellow “Scott” Michelle Mcmanus who sponsored Angus burgers!

Even series 1 X Factor winner Steve (feeble Will Young impressionist) Brookstien is now touring in a musical written by Madness! He’s not silly he had his career plan sewn up from his first audition!

And Shane (I did my falsetto in Swansea and ended up in a hospital ward!) Is now touring in the Adult Theatre adaptation of classic fairy tales playing the role of Crumpled Foreskin.

The only thing David Sneddon had in common with Pop Idols such as Robbie Williams, Ronan Keating and dare I say Ricky Martin around that time was HE HAD FUCKING EYEBROWS on his face!! that’s not strictly true, he had other qualities such as 2 arms 2 legs and a mouth etc! but still a complete and utter Wank seed.

You get a Donovan mug and my sister’s copy of “Living a Lie” David Sneddon’s shitty single.

God have mercy on your soul!

Not so Hidden Gems part Deux: The Fattening {Ceri's Column}

Please don’t kill me with sticks but I have to say…AMERICAN CANDY KICKS ASS!

There I said it. Happy? No? Don’t believe me? NO? Well, first off, how frigging dare you. Second off, it bloody is. The chocolate bar most associated with US confectionary is Hershey’s. Now I will admit, a plain, as you are, milk chocolate, regular, no fries Hershey bar tastes like sub-Aldi own brand. Almost gone off. Most Dairy Milk competitors from the States just taste like balls…as in, not nice. K? Right…

But when it comes to other bars and chocs, sadly for all you Union Jack wavers, they rule. Compare a Peanut Butter Twix to a lunch box friendly British one-finger. No contest. I’ll be singing the Star Spangled Banner next! Peanut butter M&M’s rock my mouth off too! How do I know this?

CYBERCANDY.

Next door to Snog Frozen Yogurt (the wondrous place I wrote about in “Not so Hidden Gems”) in Covent Garden, there is a sweet shop like no other. Or rather, a sweet shop like they must have in other countries whose chocolates they stock…so, what I want to tell you is Cybercandy stocks and sells sweets from around the globe. Sorry, I’ll learn to write some day.

American chocs are mainly peanut or peanut butter based, Canadian stuff is usually bigger version of British stuff, Japan has a real taste for Apple, New Zealand is crazy for marshmallow, Sweden loves liquorice and Mexico can fuck right off with its crappy salty offerings. Bleurgh!

It isn’t just chocolates they have, Oooooh no sir! Gums, Chews, Taffy, Root beers, giant Japanese Mountain Dew, other American sodas, Quagmire from Family Guy themed Energy Drink (I shit you not!),pop tarts, American cereals like Lucky Charms, Dairy milk bars from other countries, Japanese Ramune Soda and all sorts of edible bugs, astronaut foods and flavoured toothpicks and TWINKIES!

This place is like Heaven. Proper no-foolin’ Heaven!

You shop with heart-shaped buckets that fill-up waaaay too easily. The shop itself is tiny and always jammed with people going “Aaaaah! I saw this on The Sopranos!” or “Duuude! I used to get this all the time at home, man…yee haaa!” (An American ex-pat, y’see!)

My highlights are:

–          Japanese Kit Kats; They are tiny and come in a variety of crazy flavours like Bubblegum, Ginger ale (lush) and Sweet Potato!

–          Butterfinger bars from the USA: Peanut butter flavoured brittle encased in chocolate. Devine.

–          Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tarts – Droooooooool.

The only note I’d give this place is: GET SOME AMERICAN POTATO CHIPS! American Doritos, Fritos, Cheetos and any other crisps not necessarily ending in “os”!

Apart from that. Go there. Now. Get diabetes, I don’t care! It’s worth it. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

The 10 WORST lyrics in the Popesphere {Ceri's Column}

In no particular order:

  • The Verve – Bittersweet Symphony – “But I’m here in my mode, no, no, no.” – Love the song with all my heart but my god! They did have a serious tendency to write utterly bizarre lyrics. Seriously…what do you mean by your “mode”?
  • Sam Sparro – Black and Gold – “And the apes climbed down from the trees
    and grew tall and they started talking” – Why the fuck would getting taller help them to start talking? Shut up Sparro, you penis.
  • Nizlopi – JCB – The whole bloody song – Also a contender for worst band name too, Nizlopi’s seriously crap lyrics could actually have been written by a six year old. If ANYONE retorts: “that’s the point”, I won’t be amused. Utter dross. I mean, “And we’re holding up the bypass, oh-oh, me and my dad having top-laughs”? Really? Lordy.
  • Keisha – P Diddy – “Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy” – What?
  • Louis Armstrong – Wonderful World – “I see friends shaking hands, saying “how do you do”, what their really saying, is I love you.” – Who doesn’t love this song? I mean, I do! However, the thought of two “friends” greeting each other while repressing feelings of adoration makes me think: “what a bastard fate can be”. All a bit Remains of the Day for my liking.
  • Elvis – All shook up – “Her lips are like a volcano that’s hot” – Huge? Spewing lava? Stopping all Europe’s flights for weeks? Elvis, why are you with this woman?
  • Snap – Rhythm is a Dancer – “I’m as serious as cancer when I say rhythm is a dancer” – WHAT? You are as serious as cancer (“serious” as in the gravity of having the illness, I think?) when you state that rhythm, “movement marked by fluctuating conditions” (thanks Wikipedia) is actually a dancer, and not the widely accepted definition? Well…you’re just a twat then really.
  • The Socialist Republic of Vietnam– Their national anthem, Doan Quan Viet – “Soldiers of Vietnam, we go forward, With the one will to save our Fatherland. Our hurried steps are sounding on the long and arduous road. Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of our country. The distant rumbling of the guns mingles with our marching song. The path to glory passes over the bodies of our foes. Overcoming all hardships, together we build our resistance bases. Ceaselessly for the people’s cause we struggle, Hastening to the battle field! Forward! All together advancing!” – Sheesh, chill out!
  • Elton John – Your song – “If I was a sculptor, but then again, no” – after you write a shit line, you can re-draft. “If I was a fisherman, no hang on, a scientist. No! Wait…if I was the Emperor of the World! Yeah, that would be cool” was the original opening line to Candle in the Wind.
  • Anything by Oasis. Trust me; those lyrics are all just tosh. What the fuck is a “Wonderwall”?