Kanye West Attacks Beck At Grammy’s Internet Responds By Attacking Beyonce

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Catherine Balavage

Kanye West Attacks Beck At Grammy’s And The Internet Responds By Attacking… Beyonce

When Kanye West almost interrupted Beck onstage while he was accepting his Album of the Year Grammy award, and then later said that he should respect ‘true artists’ he showed one thing: how much of a twat he is. In fact, who can forget he did a similar thing to Taylor Swift a few years ago? (Weirdly Kanye has said that he will be collaborating with Swift soon).

Beck gave a very dignified response. Saying, ‘Come back, I need some help.’ and then later telling reporters: “[Kanye] deserves to be on stage as much as anybody.” Some reactions to Kanye’s pompousness have been bang on: David Spade calling him ‘virtually impossible’ to like, Shirley Manson calling him a ‘complete twat’ but what has really annoyed me is the large amount of people on the internet attacking Beyonce. Who didn’t even do anything apart from be in the audience, embarrassed at the events unfolding.

Post by Shirley Manson.

Instead of attacking Kanye as an artist, my Facebook feed is full of meme’s attacking Beyonce’s ‘artistry’. Some of it reeks of sexism and it is bullshit. Why not attack Kanye?

Beyonce is an artist. The meme’s say she plays no instruments. I don’t actually know if Beyonce plays any instruments apart from one: her voice. Her STUNNING voice. She is talented, she is visionary and anyone who has seen her documentary Life is But a Dream cannot be anything other than wowed by her work ethic, her talent and her vision. She is not just an artist: she is a superstar. Beck is also an artist. He writes songs and plays 16 instruments. I am a fan. There is room for them both in the music industry. They are like chalk and cheese and each has their place. To compare them is silly and stupid. They also claim that Beyonce does not write any of her songs. She doesn’t write them all, but she has written a fair amount.

So, people, enough with attacking the innocent party. There is only one person who deserves our scorn and his name is Kanye West.

Naomi Watts: I Was Ready To Quit Acting

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Frostie

Some actors find success easy and others struggle for years. Naomi Watts definitely falls into the latter category. The Oscar nominated actress used to drive for hours to pick up bad scripts people refused to send her. She regularly doubted that she would ever have a career after moving to Los Angeles as things were so tough.

“[I went from playing leads] to being someone who had to drive for two hours to get two pages of really bad dialogue in some TV movie, just because they couldn’t be bothered faxing me the pages. And I did that for pretty much ten years. When it was like, you know what, I can’t handle it, I’m giving up. But every time my bags were packed, I’d get a call saying, ‘You’ve got this part.'” she told InStyle magazine.

The 46-year-old actress took anything she was offered when she moved to LA.

“Oh, listen, I did not have any snobbery about anything. I just wanted to work. I always had the attitude that work begets work and one thing would roll to the next, I think I knew I had something. But I certainly had plenty of doubt.”

The star did not get her big break until David Lynch cast her in Mulholland Drive solely from her photograph.

If you are an actor then check out How To Be a Successful Actor: Becoming an Actorpreneur. It is available in print and in all eBook formats on both Smashwords and Amazon.

Is Natural Beauty Skin Deep? UK Breast enlargements falling demand

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Frostie

The Era of Natural Beauty? Falling Demand for Breast Enlargements.

Are attitudes to cosmetic surgery changing among UK women and men?

The UK’s leading cosmetic surgery law firm, Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors, who have a decade’s experience in this field have brought the latest and startling figures from the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (BAAPS) to our attention. If these figures are anything to go by, then attitudes are certainly changing. With overall figures for plastic surgery in the UK decreasing in 2014 by 10 per cent, it would seem that cosmetic surgery has lost its lustre among British women.

Is this part of a new Cosmetic Surgery trend?

Certainly, the influence of the fuller-figured celebrity seems to have waned considerably as British women last year opted for more limited beauty surgeries with subtle cosmetic enhancements replacing the more obvious charms of glamour model style boob jobs and dermal fillers.

The figures from BAAPS, an organisation representing most private cosmetic surgeons in the UK, shows clearly that for the first time in the last five years, cosmetic surgery is on the decline and in a large way.

Much of this slump can be explained by women avoiding breast augmentations. While breast enlargements are still by far the most popular cosmetic operation in the UK, their popularity among women has deflated by a huge 25 per cent. Cosmetic surgeons attribute this partly to the PIP breast implant scandal where some breast implants were filled with silicone unfit for human usage. This has meant women are now erring on the side of caution when deciding on cosmetic surgery.

But the overall decrease in cosmetic operations has also been driven by a desire for a more natural look that is currently more popular among celebrities. It would account for breast reductions increasing in popularity and bucking the overall trend. That attitude has been called ‘tweaked, not tucked’ and appears to have become a new beauty ideal with the demand for understated anti-aging surgery such as eyelid surgery and dermal fillers remaining mostly unchanged and popular while large cosmetic changes like tummy tucks and nose jobs falling sharply by 20 per cent.

And it’s not just women; there’s been an overall drop of 15 per cent for men. Nose jobs, the most popular procedure for men in 2013, dropped out of the top position with a massive fall of 30 per cent while the more subtle eyelid surgery is now the most popular reason for men to brave the surgeon’s knife.

Thanks to Cosmetic Surgery Solicitors for their input to this article. If you want to find out more about cosmetic surgery negligence then check out their website at www.cosmeticsurgerysolicitors.co.uk or call them on 0808 256 9318.

Best/Worst Movies of 2014

Posted on February 12, 2015 by Owun Birkett

Wahey! It’s that time of the year where movie critics get to round up their list what made 2014 great and. . . . well, not so much! As always, I will be listing the movies in alphabetical order rather than rank them because they’re all different from each other, and feel unfair when it is like comparing apples and oranges. Lastly, I like to apologise for being late on submitting this list. So with that being said, let’s get right to it!

BEST

This critically acclaimed Australian horror movie is nothing short but brilliant! Not a single jump scare was used, it’s all about tension building and atmosphere and that’s something you don’t find in a lot of horror films nowadays. Never has a horror movie made my skin crawl from start to finish and all credit goes to writer and director Jennifer Kent (making her directorial debut). You know you’ve done something extraordinary when the director of The Exorcist declares your horror movie to be the most terrifying movie he has ever seen. Seriously, it puts The Conjuring to shame!

This is an extraordinary piece of filmmaking! Immensely innovative with its direction and execution and could be Iñárritu’s most ambitious film to date. It deals with themes about the media, society and celebrity culture in such dark but satirical perspective that it’s both hilarious and tragic. Michael Keaton delivers an outstanding performance that more or less mirrors his own career and supporting cast do equally amazing jobs. Though the star was Emmanuel Lubezki, the cinematography is mesmerising and keeps you hooked to the very end.

This is quite possibly Richard Linklater’s masterpiece. How on earth can he top this inspiring movie that deals with time and told a coming of age story like none other before? It could’ve been easily done by hiring different actors to play different ages of the same character. Though Linklater decides to go with the ambitious route; capturing 12 years of one boy’s life to adulthood. It’s mind boggling the movie is 2 hours 45 minutes long and yet feels we only scratched the surface. This is my bet to win big during awards season because all the hard work deserves to be rewarded.

Probably one of the most talked about movies of 2014. That and also quite possibly the worst date movie of 2014. David Fincher yet again takes an average novel and turns it into one of the most entertaining yet bleak thrillers. Ben Affleck is actually good as a guy being constantly scorned by the media, yet it’s Rosamund Pike who steals the show as the most bat-shit insane wife from hell. I think the amazing feat is having Tyler Perry actually being amazing and not another one of his cringe-worthy Madea performances. The movie raises questions more than answers and it is more fascinating with that in mind.

Who’d knew that a Marvel Comics property that non-comic fans never even heard of would become a smash hit AND receive critical acclaim? This film was an absolute blast and wasn’t just from the kick-ass soundtrack. The entire Guardians team from Christ Pratt, Zoe Saldana, Dave Bautista, Bradley Cooper as Rocket and Vin Diesel as Groot all managed to make the whole thing work. Though writer/director James Gunn is the one to applaud to, as he managed to turn this sci-fi space opera something worth investing. Joss Whedon, it’s your turn to shine!

One of the most gorgeous looking movies of 2014. This hilariously stunning movie couldn’t be in better hands than Wes Anderson and he makes his best film to date. Ralph Fiennes delivers a genuinely funny performance that surprised me, and many others as we were accustomed to his serious roles from his previous work. The whole look of the movie played out as it was a pop-up book but with as much love and care you’d expect from Anderson. All the Wes Anderson regulars (from Jason Schwartzman, Owen Wilson, Bill Murray, Willem Dafoe etc) continue to make great performances but newcomers as Saoirse Ronan, F. Murray Abraham, Jude Law and Harvey Keitel all make a strong presence.

This may not be one of Christopher Nolan’s best movies, though I can’t deny the movie’s ambitions and scope. This is reminiscent to science fiction novels of 50s-70s, dealing about humanity and its venture to the unknown. Matthew McConaughey gives us a protagonist full of determination, even when put against all odds. Though both Mackenzie Foy and Jessica Chastain steal the show as the young and adult Murph. The visual effects are mind-blowing and Hans Zimmer’s score is refreshing with its church-organ score. This is definitely a sci-fi movie worth exploring.

Hey, another movie with Chris Pratt being on my list! If there was one movie I would pick as my favourite, this is the movie. Phil Lord and Chris Miller (same duo behind 21 Jump Street and 22 Jump Street) have made a genuinely hilarious and charming animated movie. Everyone thought this would be a quick cash grab for LEGO but they delivered something special. Immensely creative and not only my favourite animated movie of 2014 but one of my top favourite animated movies of all time!

I must admit, I wasn’t really a fan of The Raid: Redemption. So I walked into this one with not a lot of expectations. My god, this movie blew me away! Not only is this one of the best action movies of 2014 but one of the best action movies I’ve seen in the past 5 years. Gareth Evans is a competent director and doesn’t hold back from the brutality this movie has in store. Sure, the story is something we’ve seen from a dozen other crime movies such as Infernal Affairs (and even the remake, The Departed) but it’s all done in a refreshing way. Just be warned, this movie will make you wince from its pain-inducing action.

The first movie I watched in New Zealand and it was the biggest surprise of 2014. Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi creates a mockumentary that makes a unique and hilarious take on vampire lore. You fall for these characters as they are somewhat likeable and still come across being human than monsters. Definitely one of the funniest movies of the year and North American readers should definitely check this out when released in cinemas.

Ever imagined dealing with a school teacher from hell? Okay, a bit of an exaggerated question to ask but this movie shows us a teacher you pray you don’t come across. This film has such flair and energy that’s impossible not to get involved. Miles Teller is becoming an incredible talent and he truly shines as the emotionally tortured student on becoming the best drummer. Though not mentioning J.K. Simmons’ outstanding performance would be a crime, it is utterly electrifying that you’re preparing the unexpected.

WORST

This new Spider-Man series is anything but amazing. If the first movie didn’t make it clear that Sony Pictures had no idea what to do with Spider-Man franchise, this movie shows it clear as day (didn’t even need a hacker to prove that). This movie is not interested on telling a story with compelling characters, it’s more interested for the studio to keep the licence so it can make more sequels and spin-offs to make an easy cash grab. It’s heart-breaking that everyone’s top favourite Marvel superhero is treated this way. Edward Garfield is wasted with this directionless series and the villains were just cringe-worthy. This movie even makes Spider-Man 3 look good. . . . think about that!

This movie left me feeling uncomfortable. The movie comes across wanting to view this tragic but honourable soldier. However, it feels it is very one-sided and not having a clear direction on what story to tell. Is it an anti-war movie? Pro-war? It doesn’t really give any insight about the man, other than he wants to protect his country from the “savages” and those “savages” are purely evil (something I feel Paul Greengrass would’ve been a better director to handle this material). The movie doesn’t tell anything new and has been done better before in terms about the conflict and biopic about a military soldier (such as The Hurt Locker and Born on the Fourth of July).

Remember how The Conjuring terrified audiences and almost side-tracked with the doll that kinda went nowhere? Well they decided to make this movie and got the director of Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. What we got was a horror movie with boring characters that have zero chemistry and investment whatsoever. If you find jump scares scary, this will absolutely terrify you. However, they grew tiresome and extremely irritating with each one that popped up. Anyone can make a jump scare, though that does not mean your movie is scary!

Imagine two of your favourite film series based on popular books (in this case, Harry Potter and The Hunger Games) and turn it into the most bland, generic movie you could imagine. It also reminded me of Equilibrium, though they left all the boring parts in this movie. Shailene Woodley has been in my radar since her performance in The Descendants and was also fantastic in The Spectacular Now. This breaks my heart to see her involved in this series that feels so contrived, it left very few surprises and ended up bored out of my mind.

Just to make one thing perfectly clear; Sleeping Beauty is one of my all-time favourite Disney animated movies. This movie, however, takes everything you loved about it and went with the completely wrong direction. The reason we loved Maleficent was she was purely evil, it even scared me when I was a child and didn’t hold back on killing the princess. Here, they decided turn her story into a tragic one and something I, quite frankly, thought we didn’t need. Though what shocked me was the adult subtext and kinda turns into a rape revenge story. None of the characters were developed enough to be invested and the whole movie was a complete mess.

A remake that didn’t need to be remade in the first place. The original 1987 movie by Paul Verhoeven still holds up today as being one of the best sci-fi movies of the 80s and wrote the book about action movie satire (something like Gamer failed to deliver). This was a dull, directionless remake that got neutered down to an audience friendly PG-13 rating and was worse for it. This movie also wastes talents like Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton and Samuel L. Jackson. This movie should get a life sentence!

You know when somebody says “it’s just a kids movie”? Let me ask you this; would you let your kids watch a movie that’s based on a kids property that has one of our heroes saying this line when he first lays eyes on Megan Fox as April O’Neil “she’s so hot, I can feel my shell tightening”? The answer should be “no”! This movie is everything on what you should not do when making a blockbuster, especially based on a franchise everyone knows and loves. Director Jonathan Liebesman continues to deliver uninspired movies that have been done better. There’s absolutely no reason we should not even put enough effort to tell a basic story with characters we should care about.

This is probably the top contender of the most boring science fiction movie in recent memory. Wally Pfister’s directorial debut thinks it is making a thought-provoking sci-fi tale about technology, though when the movie’s extremist group can’t even make a logical reason why we should hate Will Caster and the technology he’s creating but instead pretty much say “technology is evil”. . . . okay, care to expand on that? None of the characters speak naturally and the third act’s action scene feels almost out of place. Sorry Wally, you aimed just a little too high with this one.

Both Boyhood and this movie are 2 hours and 45 minutes long. The former was engrossing, this one was a drag! Not the worst of the series (that still belongs to Revenge of the Fallen) but it is still lifeless and tedious. Even replacing Shia LaBeouf with Mark Wahlberg wasn’t enough to improve the things that are still wrong with this movie. This is probably the first movie that made me want John Goodman to stop talking! Also, they spent an awful amount of time explaining the ‘Romeo & Juliet’ act between the two teenage lovers and it pretty much encourages under-age love (even to the point of sex. . . . thank you Mr. Bay, that’s exactly what we wanted in a Transformers movie). When we do finally get to the Dinobots (after 2 hours and 20 minutes in), we’re beyond caring on what’s going on! This series does need to die out soon but it’s not soon enough!

Kevin Smith is one of those filmmakers I admire; he’s a symbol of everything about geek and no shame to it whatsoever. Unfortunately, the days of Clerks and Chasing Amy are long lost with this dreadful horror film. Based on a fake Gumtree ad and Smith let fans vote whether to make this film, it is a complete pretentious mess. Justin Long’s character is unlikable, so it’s hard for us to feel sorry when horrible things start happening to him. Also a certain cameo from an A-list star goes for far too long than needed. Definitely not worth the hype.

DISAPPOINTING MOVIE OF THE YEAR

Remember when Guillermo del Toro was, at one point, going to direct a two movie adaptation of The Hobbit? That’s what has been on my mind since watching the first movie and stayed with me till the end of this final entry of Peter Jackson’s trilogy. Stretching it to three movies was unneeded, the second movie had huge pacing issues. Though those issues for being too long were reversed, the 2hr 24min duration went by and actually made me say “oh, that’s it?” Those emotional moments in The Return of the King is completely missing in this movie. When characters get axed off, there’s little investment to care and it’s a real shame. The Hobbit could’ve been spectacular, instead it feels average in comparison to The Lord of the Rings (which I do admit is unfair to compare). Not terrible by any means but could’ve been so much more than it is.

MOST ANTICIPATED MOVIE OF 2015

It would be really easy to say Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens and it is definitely up there. Though choosing from the line-up was incredibly difficult. You have from Avengers: Age of Ultron, Terrence Malick’s latest Knight of Cups, and return of James Bond in Spectre. I finally narrowed it down to this sequel to one of the most influential post-apocalyptic action movies of all-time. George Miller finally returns after having his run on making those penguin movies (have to admit, I wasn’t a fan) and Tom Hardy takes over from Mel Gibson as the titular role. Co-starring Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult and Hugh Keays-Byrne (returning to series since Mad Max). The movie looks edgy, raw and unbelievably fun! Looking forward to going back on the road.

Romantic Food Ideas For Valentine’s: Queen of Tarts

Posted on February 11, 2015 by Frostie

The perfect savoury starter developed from the Good Housekeeping Institute’s famous Triple-Tested recipes, a team of expert GHI chefs have created and tested this dish to ensure it satisfies every time.

Queen of Tarts

Hands-on time: 15min

Cooking time: 25min

Serves: 6

Ingredients:

For the puff pastry:

225g (8oz) strong white bread flour
225g (8oz) butter, chilled
1tbsp lemon juice

For the filling:

300g (11oz) light cream cheese
Finely grated zest of 1 lemon
2tbsp fresh dill, finely chopped
200g (7oz) pack hot-smoked or smoked salmon, skinned and flaked
4 spring onions, finely sliced

Method:

Sift the flour into a bowl with a pinch of salt. Dice 50g (2oz) of the butter. Flatten the rest into a 2.5cm (1in) thick slab.
Rub the diced butter into the flour. Then, using a knife, stir in the lemon juice and about 280ml (9½fl oz) cold water to make soft, elastic dough. Knead on a lightly floured surface until smooth. Cut a cross through half the depth.
Open out the ‘flaps’ and roll out the dough, keeping the centre four times as thick as the flaps.
Put the slab of butter in the centre and fold the flaps over it. Gently roll out to make a rectangle measuring 40.5 x 20.5cm (16 x 8in). Mark off three equal sections from top to bottom. Fold the bottom third of the pastry up over the middle, and the top third down. Wrap in clingfilm and chill for 30min (or freeze for 5-10min).
Repeat the rolling, resting and turning four more times, ensuring the folded edges are to the sides each time.
To make the tarts, preheat oven 200°C (180°C fan) mark 6. Unroll puff pastry and cut or stamp out six individual-sized heart shapes, about 9cm (3½in) diameter. Arrange hearts on baking sheets, spacing a little apart. Score a border 1cm (½in) from the edge of each heart. Use a fork to prick pastry well inside the border.
Bake pastry hearts until golden and risen – about 20-25min. Remove from oven and use the back of a spoon to press down the pastry carefully inside the border to make room for the filling. Cool completely, then tip/scrape out any loose crumbs from the cases (so they won’t get into the filling).
To make filling, mix together cream cheese, most of the lemon zest and dill, and some seasoning (if mixture is too thick, loosen with a little milk). Spoon into cooled tarts, level gently, then top with the flaked salmon and spring onions. Scatter over the remaining lemon zest and dill, and some freshly grated black pepper. Serve.

Valentine’s Day Poem: Will You Still Love Me? (With apologies to W.B. Yeats)

Posted on February 11, 2015 by Margaret Graham

Angela Taplin, scribbler of fiction, poetry and (sometimes) Deep, Meaningful Reflections on Life. She’s a member of Chesham Writers and Scribblers and prefers la dolce vita to Ryvita any day.

Will you still love me? (With apologies to W.B. Yeats)

When we are old and grey

-Well you, anyway –

(I’ll still be softly fair

Courtesy of Shirley’s Hair)

And our joints creak

And our diaries speak –

For better or for worse –

Of regular dates with doctor or nurse,

Will you still love me?

And after so many years

Of the struggle and the tears

That life inevitably brings

-The swings

And roundabouts of married life

(Shall I make a good wife?)

The heartaches and the sorrows

Of so many unknown tomorrows,

Will you still love me?

When we sit in silence side by side,

By shared emotions and long memories tied,

An old dog lying on the floor,

World’s troubles held at bay beyond the door,

Will you still love me?

Will it still be me you see?

Will your heart, like mine, be true?

Well then. I will. I do.

Selma – Movie Review

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Junior Smart

There are three things that this movie absolutely gets right. Firstly you have the subject matter. This is a film about Dr Martin Luther King; powerful, complicated, legendary. A leader almost completely untouched by modern day film-making, yet a leader who deserves respect. Why? Because he chose non-violent resistance in the face of utter brutality; if there ever was a time for a film about his legacy, it is now. The marches from Selma to Montgomery that took place in Alabama in 1965 over the right to vote must rank as one of the most iconic moments in history. Make no mistake, sometimes it is difficult to watch this film; visceral but not gratuitous, anger inducing at times but not ever condoning. In many ways as a historical story it’s beyond criticism, especially when so much reflects the world we live in today.

Selma marks the first big-budget film from black independent director Ava DuVernay; she pulls no punches by filming in the very places where these historic events took place. She keeps things brisk, crafting each scene like an elegant dish to be served; she doesn’t waste any time on screen. Everything from a telephone ringing to an intimate conversation has purpose. For a motion picture epic such as this it comes in at little over two hours yet you never get the feeling that anything of value has been lost in transition.

Which leads us to the second thing this movie gets right; the approach. Rather than going for the customary ‘from the cradle to the grave’ biopic approach, Selma wisely concentrates on the events in Alabama, occurring just over a few weeks in February and March. 10 years after King’s first major civil-rights action. By the time the film starts he has already risen in power, delivered the ‘I have a dream’ speech and received the Nobel Peace Prize. This gives the film real focus as the series of atrocities which caused Dr King to be present in Selma can be covered in real depth. When King scores a victory, no matter how small, it is a victory for everyone. By the time the film finishes you may be on such a high that you fail to realise that just three years later Dr King will be assassinated at the age of 39. Such is the emphasis on the moment to moment reality, and the inner conviction of him and his many followers.

Thirdly you have the casting. Many of these actors could hold down a movie in their own right and they seem to be in roles that they relish. Tim Roth as racist governor George Wallace, Tom Wilkinson as President Lyndon Johnson, Oprah Winfrey (may she never ever quit acting) in her portrayal of the indomitable Annie Lee Cooper and David Oyelowo, a British actor who just seems to go from strength to strength and steps into Dr King’s shoes with ease, easily outdoing Idris’ portrayal of Mandela in just sheer power and presence alone. The supporting cast are strong, too, with Carmen Ejogo lending warmth and courage to the key role of Coretta Scott King the continual strain on their marriage is a central theme, Stan Houston is assured as the embittered, trigger-happy sheriff Jim Clark, and Dylan Baker fleetingly creepy as J Edgar Hoover, whose FBI wire taps and intercepts provide some genuinely testing scenes. The actors really lend themselves to making this film a success. A huge thanks too should go to Brad Pitts Company Plan B in backing this film. It’s no wonder that its snubbing in the Oscar nominations (up for Best Picture but not for director or acting) has caused almost complete outrage.

I noted that some reviewers have criticised the film for being too grandiose in nature. I feel these comments are completely unfair; grandiose compared to what? Titanic, Gladiator, Les Miserables, even Man of Steel had a sense of identity, something to live up to and all of these are works of fiction. Selma has an identity because it is embedded in history. It’s understandable and only right that the actors desired to do the film justice.

Selma is one of those films that need to be seen, it’s compelling viewing because it’s a quality film that was deserved to be made for a generation that needs to see it. In a time where true values are easily forgotten Martin Luther King’s dream endures. If his truth were ever to be realised then the future can only be brighter for us all.

How Can Organizing a Literary Festival be Fun? By Margaret Graham

Posted on February 10, 2015 by Margaret Graham

Easy peasey, when it’s for a good cause, and you have fantastic writers in support.

The thrust of our fundraising at Words for the Wounded is two-fold. We feel we must earn our donations which help the wounded, and offer opportunities to aspiring writers, and interested readers – hence the writing competitions.

Remember that the three grannies who run the charity absorb all the costs, so every penny goes to the wounded.

Last year, to raise extra funds for the recovery of wounded troops, we grannies, who run Words for the Wounded, decided to throw ourselves out of a plane (with parachutes and a handsome man to cling to, I might add). This year, in August we’re splodging through mud doing a Military Assault Course.

Not quite the same elan, but sons-in-law, who are doing it too, are very much looking forward to not catching us when we toppled from the tyre wall.

It seemed, however, a good idea to do something less strenuous in the meantime. A Literary Festival seemed just about the ticket.

First panic: will people come? Build it and see, seemed to be the thing to do. Wasn’t that what Kevin Costner was told about a baseball field?

Second panic: will we attract speakers? Well, let’s try our mates.

So we get on the phone to call a couple of WforW patrons.

Katie Fforde is a Sunday Times No 1 bestseller and a great pal. ‘’Of course,’ she said. ‘Let’s do it. In fact, you and me together, Margaret, chatting.’ Done.

Second call to Rachel Cuperman. Rachel writes Midsomer Murders scripts, and if they’re not bestsellers, I don’t know what is.
‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Can’t wait. I’ll get my co-writer, Sally Griffiths to come too.’ Done.

I am kissing the hem of their garments by now.

Penny Deacon is one of the grannies, and a crime writer. She will be talking about her work. Done.

A past student, Amanda Hatter, and Catriona Troth, who is a committed member of the Alliance of Independent Authors, are to sit on our self-publishing panel. Me too, me too, to try to keep them under control.

Photo attribution: Ruth Jenkinson

Catherine Balavage, publisher of Frost Magazine, who would have been with us has a far more important project on the go – a son to be born at about the same time.

Finally, we have a fantastic agent: Felicity Trew of the Caroline Sheldon Literary Agency who is really looking forward to meeting all the aspiring authors in the audience. She will be here for the day, so loads of time for networking.

Then we have the food: As real foodies the grannies have been planning lunch, with wine, and tea with cake. We’re of an age where life seems to revolve around cake… Join us in pursuit of the calories.

Waterstones will be there, writers will sign books. There will be an artist exhibiting her work. There will be a buzz. It’s the inaugural Literary Festival for Downley Community Centre, which has been fantastically supportive.

So come. Enjoy the day. Tickets in advance to facilitate catering.

It’s been fun organizing it, and will be even more so, on the day.

Remember: the grannies absorb all the costs of the charity every penny we raise goes to where it’s needed.

Where is it needed? See the sort of injuries our service personnel suffer:

https://www.frostmagazine.com/2014/12/wounded-the-legacy-of-war-photographs-by-bryan-adams/

Date: April 18th. 9.30 for 10.00 start until 5.00. Downley Community Centre, High Wycombe, HP13 5TR Tickets £50 to include all refreshments.

Contact: Margaret@margaret-graham.com for information and tickets, or go to www.wordsforthewounded.co.uk