Tuppence Middleton interview for Black Mirror

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You’re in the new series of Black Mirror and you’re in an episode called ‘White Bear’ which is shrouded in secrecy. What can you reveal about it?

It mainly focuses on a young woman who wakes and she doesn’t remember who she is, in a world that she doesn’t recognise anymore. Everyone she meets is either incredibly hostile towards her, or they just film her. My character bumps into her helps her. I’ve been living in this world and I’m very used to it, and I become her guide.

 

Your character is called Jem. What’s her story, what do you know about her?

In the story you know that she’s become hardened by this world and she knows the ins and outs of. She is very independent and initially would rather travel on her own, but she just happens to come by Victoria and is forced to take her under her wing. Her main goal is to stay alive. When we were talking about the character we almost wanted her to come across as a bit like a computer game character, like a bit of a Tank Girl – she’s very tough.

 

Presumably there’s not an awful lot of back story or detail about her. Does that make it difficult to play a role like that? Or does it give you a blank canvas which is quite fun to fill out?

Yeah I liked the fact she was quite mysterious, she doesn’t give away too much. She gives away enough about the world for Victoria to understand but she doesn’t give away too much about herself and I think she’s quite a guarded and lone figure. I think the more mysterious she is to Victoria the better.

 

Lenora Crichlow [who plays Victoria] said the shoot was pretty intense in terms of it being very long days and not quite knowing what was going to be around the next corner. Did you find that as well?

Yes I mean it was kind of tough in a great way. I don’t think I’ve ever run so much in my life. I was doing ADR [voiceover work] for it today and it was, I’d say, 90% doing breaths for running. We were very active and it’s kind of fun doing things like that because I’m not like that at all – I hate even going to the gym, so being an active action girl is quite fun for me. I mean it was tough, it was long days and we were filming mostly outside for two weeks and almost every day it would pour down with rain. We were usually quite cold and wet and running for hours but it was quite fun.

 

Presumably with the plot being what it is, it quite added to the atmosphere it being rainy and dark?

Yes it really helped. I’ve just watched a little bit of it back and there’s that really weird sky when it’s like winter and it’s raining and it’s so cold, it’s almost like a completely white-grey sky. It really looks like the end of the world has come.

 

What was it that attracted you to the part?

A million things. I am a huge fan of Charlie Brooker and I thought the last series of Black Mirror was one of the best things I’d seen on TV for ages. As soon as the audition came up I was like ‘oh god I have to get that.’ I just love Black Mirror, and Carl the director. I was just really confident he could do a good job and he seemed to have a really good vision. And like I said it’s a part totally unlike myself, apart from being tall, which I think is why I mostly get cast as these sort of parts, I’m not at all like that. I’m not this kind of action girl. It was something really different for me.

 

When you’re going up for an audition like that, something that you really want to get, does that make you a lot more nervous, and how do you deal with that?

Yeah it makes you more nervous, but then you turn that into determination. You can’t let it get the better of you. Ultimately when you’ve got something you really want, it’s more about showing how passionate you really are about it and when you get to actually meet the director and meet the producers and stuff and talk about the role and talk about the script then it’s great because you can input your ideas in the initial audition. So you get carried away with how enthusiastic you are about it as opposed to how nervous, and you come back and think ‘I have no idea how that just went’. I’m terrible at judging it, and then you get the call and it’s amazing, so I was really pleased, it’s a brilliant job.

 

In your relatively short career so far you’ve worked with some amazing names – just picking a few David Tenant, James McAvoy, Emma Thompson, Timothy Spall, Danny Boyle, Sean Bean. How have you managed to squeeze that all in into such a short time?

I have no idea, to be honest, because when I first started, there would often be periods where I wasn’t working for a few months. I think the gaps just gradually get smaller and the roles you do become bigger, either in the sense that you’re taking more of the lead role or it’s a small role in a more prominent thing, a kind of step up in terms of who you’re working with. The more people I work with like that the more I learn from them. Emma Thompson, I was working with her for a day or two, but you learn so much even in that short amount of time. It’s great, I mean it’s kind of strange because you think about all those names after you’ve done it but when you’re doing it, they’re just people who are also doing a job. You just have to think like that and, yes, it’s such an amazing learning opportunity and I think I’ve been lucky to work at all since I left drama school because so many people don’t. I am thankful that it’s been with some amazing talent.

 

There’s been a huge variety in your work – you’ve done everything from comedy to horror to more arthouse stuff. Is that an intentional thing to keep moving genres, to stretch yourself like that?

Yes completely. I mean I’ve been sort of lucky with the genres actually but I guess it’s more for me about finding parts that interest me and scripts that interest me. I think I always want to do something different to the thing I’ve just done and I always want to play a part different to one I’ve played before. It’s just about finding variety and I get an instinct very quickly about a script whether I like it or not. Over the four-and-a-half years I’ve been working, although it’s not long, I think you start to build up your own taste. I think it’s just constantly about keeping me on my toes and having a challenge rather than playing something which is second nature to me.

 

Who are the people working in your industry who you most admire?

That’s such a hard question. I was really lucky working with Danny Boyle because he was definitely on the list. There are definitely lots of directors I’d love to work with, I mean in a crazy world I’d love to work with Tarantino. Obviously there’s too many actors to mention that I’d want to work with but I think you really get drawn towards certain directors as well and I say there’s definitely certain directors I’d want to work with. David Fincher I think is great, David Lynch.

 

Most people when they leave drama school maybe do an apprenticeship in theatre but you’ve slightly bypassed that. Do you want to do theatre as well?

Funnily enough I’m starting to rehearse for a play on Monday. It’s just a short run – it’s on throughout March at the Jermyn Street Theatre, a Graham Greene. You spend most of the time at drama school training for theatre and then I just happened to come out and do film and TV because my first job was a film and it paved the way for the rest of my work. I absolutely can’t wait for rehearsals to start for the play. I think it is going to be a really different discipline and a different experience for me. Yes I’d definitely like to do more of it but I think you tend to get more work in one area and maybe that will change in a few years’ time when I’m a bit older. At the moment I’m happy with the way it’s going and I’m looking forward to trying my hand at a play.

 

What ambitions do you have left? What do you really want to do with your career?

I guess primarily it’s always about making work that I like, being in films from scripts that I love and not compromising on that, and just to make it into a career and not working for three years and then I stop working. I want to be working into my eighties. If I live that long!

 

Black Mirror: Whiter Bear is on Channel 4 at 10pm on Monday 18th February. Interview thanks to Channel 4.

Hitchcock Film Review

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‘The Master Of Suspense’, Alfred Hitchcock, hangs over cinema like an all seeing spectre. His work and technical flourishes are so viscerally imprinted on cultural psyche that even someone who has never seen one of his films would still recognise his touch at a glance. Any biopic of such a looming figure (both metaphorical and literal) has huge boots to fill and it’s a task that Sacha Gervasi of Anvil! The Story Of Anvil fame has attempted with a dramatization of behind the scenes of  one of The Master’s most celebrated works.

 

1960: Worried that age is catching up with him and his talent slipping away, Alfred Hitchcock (Anthony Hopkins) boldly settles on the controversial pulp novel Psycho as his next project. It’s lurid subject matter sees him meet refusal from Paramount Picture executives so he takes the unorthodox move to finance the film himself putting at risk his reputation and house together with his wife and longtime collaborator Alma Reville (Helen Mirren). The drama follows them and their efforts to make the picture whilst confronting their own marital stresses.

 

Whilst it may be unfair to immediately compare Hitchcock with another film of similar subject matter, it cannot help but be cursed to have been released in the wake of television movie The Girl starring Toby Jones as the titular director. Whilst not without its flaws, that film presented a darker, more complex view of the man in regards to his supposed infatuation and harassment of Tippi Hedren whilst making the follow up to Psycho, The Birds. Whether or not you agree with the account, it added  layers of credible complexion to a figure whose dry comedic wit and physical appearance dominate public perception of him. Here Anthony Hopkins dons the fat suit and the make up and makes a good stab at the hangdog expression and the constantly  bemused vocal tones. However whilst Hopkins provides the surface for Hitch, what’s beneath amounts to little more than a running checklist of all the well known tics and traits. He liked his food and drink, had the fondness for blondes, was something of a bully on set and so forth. This unfortunately leans more towards mimicry than performance. The supporting cast fare little better. Whilst you can argue that psychical likelihood is not the cornerstone of a biopic performance, neither Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel convince as Janet Leigh and Vera Miles respectively. James D’Arcy is surprisingly uncanny as Anthony Perkins yet is given very little to do whilst fine character actors Michael Stuhlbarg and Kurtwood Smith are given practically walk on roles.

 

Of all the principal performances Helen Mirren as Alma easily steals the show. Nobody quite corners the market as strong willed supporting roles quite like she does and she provides Hitchcock with a passionate line that it needs badly. The marriage interludes hinting at Alma’s resentment of her husband’s success and lack of her own adulation do drift towards soap opera material yet Mirren turns it around and manages to convey a fiery will that sees her husband and his projects through. Another intriguing, if brief performance comes from Michael Wincott as Ed Gein, the serial killer whose bizarre and horrific crimes influenced the novel of Psycho (they also served to be the inspiration for another landmark American horror title; The Texas Chain Saw Massacre). Hitchcock imagines Gein in a number of scenarios, taunting him with references to the darker, sadistic sides of the director’s personality. The darkly amusing opening shot of the film sees Gein beating his brother to death with a shovel only for the camera to pan and reveal Hitch who breaks the fourth wall in his Alfred Hitchcock Presents persona. Eye catching as these scenes are they mark a conflict of tone of the film. We get hints of Hitchcock’s psychological impulses and dark desires yet Gervasi never acts on them or brings them fully to the fore. Rather the more potentially questionable sides of his personality are cast aside in favour of playful admiration and constant name dropping of stars and films of the period. It tries to be edgy yet comes off as surprisingly toothless.

 

All in all Hitchcock feels like its treading water when a terrific, meaty subject matter lies just  beneath it. Hopkins and Mirren do their best but the playful idolization becomes too much of a distraction. You could argue that the movie would more benefit those who are unfamiliar with Psycho and Hitchcock. That may be true but then why would you watch this over Psycho or any of the great man’s work?

Inspiring Culture in Edinburgh

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Walking through the streets of Edinburgh it’s clear to see why the city has been accredited as a UNESCO World Heritage Site. As Scotland’s famously bonny capital, it blends modern and historic culture, and is renowned the world over for its annual festivals, from the highbrow performances of the International Festival to the giddy melting pot of indie theatre and music at the Fringe – all topped off with the world’s most famous street Hogmanay party, where revellers dance in the new year under a firework-lit castle. If you’re lucky enough to pay a visit, here’s our guide to getting the most bang for your cultural buck.

A perennial fixture on World’s Best Cities lists, Edinburgh is lauded as one of the most culturally significant places to visit and as well as being named a World Heritage Site, it’s also the very  first City of Literature. This title is hugely significant for Edinburgh as it credits the city for its contribution to international literature. And it’s easy to see why – the city is simply bursting with beautiful libraries, independent bookshops and literary events, including the sellout International Book Festival that sets up shop against the backdrop of stunning Georgian architecture in the city centre’s Charlotte Square. It’s also home to a whole host of renowned authors who work out of and take inspiration from the city: Irvine Welsh, JK Rowling, Iain Banks and Ian Rankin are all celebrated contemporary authors local to Edinburgh.

Beyond literature Edinburgh has many other avenues of culture to explore. Art is another area that is bursting with activity in the city and with over 50 galleries peppered across Edinburgh’s historic cobbles, you’re truly spoiled for choice. See the Guardian’s online guide 10 of the best contemporary art galleries in Edinburgh for the pick of the bunch, although our favourite has to be The Fruitmarket Gallery. Nestled in the centre of the city just moments walk from the Castle, his gallery boasts a well-stocked calendar of exhibitions from both Scottish and international artists and art groups. The Scotsman Steps commission by Martin Creed has been the most popular exhibition in the galleries’ history and successfully brought contemporary art into the public eye, from the gallery to the steps of Edinburgh. The Stills Gallery on Cockburn Street and the Edinburgh College of Art exhibitions are also a fantastic place to see new upcoming artists in Scotland. For thought-provoking pieces on a grander scale, check out the weird and wonderful installation art at summer outside exhibition extravaganza Jupiter Artland.

Then of course there’s the Festival Fringe itself – the biggest and best performing arts festival in the world. It spans an entire month each August and welcomes more than 2,500 shows from countries all around the world. Over the past few years, theatre, dance and musicals have been fighting hard to compete with the overpowering presence of comedy at the festival, and is happily succeeding with diverse and ever-increasing menu of acts to whet any cultural appetite. But even outside the heady festival period, the performing arts thrive in the city (despite the recessions) with the Traverse, the Lyceum and the Festival Theatre all playing host to an eclectic variety of local and internationally-acclaimed theatre, dance and opera.

Modern culture is also happily evident in Edinburgh with a dynamic shopping and food scene bursting with independent boutiques, cafes, delicatessens on every corner. Try the upmarket shopping district of Thistle Street for the best gems, such as shoe emporium Pam Jenkins and Vogue-celebrated designer clothing boutique must-visit Jane Davidson , which offers a carefully-curated collection of international collections as well as exclusive Scottish luxury designers. Alternatively head down to “village within a city” Stockbridge for interior design and gift boutiques galore.

If you’re looking for cultural things to do in Edinburgh it’s a promise that you won’t struggle for choice, whether you’re interested in art, dance, literature or fashion, the city has something to offer in every direction – it truly is a city inspired by culture.

 

By Jane Sommerville

 

 

Make the most of your relationship –top ten tips by Sarah Rozenthuler,

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Make the most of your relationship –top ten tips

by Sarah Rozenthuler, author of Life-Changing Conversations

 

Sarah Rozenthuler author of Life-Changing Conversations, 7 strategies for Talking about What Matters Most draws together tools from the field of dialogue, insights from the discipline of psychology and wisdom from a contemporary articulation of spirituality. This potent mix can transform how we talk together and how we act in the world and our lives.

 

As Valentine’s Day approaches, love is in the air. It’s easy to be swept away by the romance—the candlelit dinner, the bunch of fresh blooms, the softly playing music—the “pinkness” of it all. But love has many colours, including some deep and dark hues, so it can also be timely to ask: What does it take to make a relationship work?

 

Our intimate interactions with our beloved can be a source of great joy—and immense stress—in our lives. Whether you want to rekindle some of the magic, heal some hurt or deepen your joy, here are ten top tips for a happy and harmonious relationship.

 

1.    Put that phone away

 

Give your partner some quality time by having a “media break”. Switch off the TV, put down your phone and turn off your tablet. Make your beloved the object of your attention rather than checking your emails. Even if it’s only for 10 minutes, take time to listen to what your partner has to say and then reflect back what you’ve heard.

 

Resist the temptation to interrupt. Let them finish their sentence. Listening receptively is a powerful aphrodisiac that can soften the hardest of hearts.

 

2.    Create a shared vision

 

A long-lasting relationship is all about standing shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the same direction. When a relationship ends, the most painful part is often the loss of shared dreams.

 

To strengthen your bond, create a “vision board” together. Recycle your old magazines by cutting out inspiring images and use these to create a collage. Place it where you can both see it every day so that you consciously “call in” what you want as a couple.

 

3.    Spice up your sex life

 

If the physical side of your relationship has become routine, take a risk and do something different. Go to a sex shop together, do a tantra workshop or join the mile high club.

 

If you’re stuck for ideas, ask your partner for a memory of some great sex they had (with you!) and see what you can learn to re-create some of that excitement. It might be making love in front of an open fire, having sex in the kitchen or taking time to massage each other. Savour the specialness of this side of your relationship.

 

4.    Monitor your mood

 

Be aware that partners are susceptible to absorbing each other’s moods. This can be great when one of you has had a good day but it can be a real downer when one person’s bad day at the office contaminates you both. 

 

To combat the contagious effects of negativity, develop some strategies for shifting state when you’re down in the dumps. Take a five minute walk round the block, sit and watch the sun go down or enjoy taking in the scent of some fresh flowers. Each  of you needs to take responsibility for your own state of being so that your moods become mutually enriching.

 

5.    Have some fun

 

A relationship can be hard work as you each try to find ways to accommodate the other’s needs, wants and desires. Differences of opinion can cause tension and unresolved conflicts can lead to contempt.

 

To counterbalance the heavy lifting, make a mutual commitment to spend time together doing things that you enjoy. Go to the cinema, take a dance class or plan your next holiday. Find things that bring a smile—or even better, some belly laughs—and agree to do these things regularly. Remember that when you fell in love, your inner child felt alive and well. Nurture that part of you and your relationship will reap the rewards.

 

6.    Keep the romance

 

Cherish your partner by doing things that make them feel special. Treat them to something you know they’ll love whether it’s cooking their favourite meal, running a hot bath or playing their favourite track of music.

 

As you go about your day, bookmark memorable moments in your mind to share with your partner when you next see them. It’s the kind of thing you probably did when your love was freshly minted, so bring some of that attentive energy into your relationship now. 

 

7.    Invest in your relationship skills

 

If your relationship has become riddled with tension, get some help. Identify what the core issue is and search out ways to deal with it. If, for example, you have a temper that is toxic to the relationship, book yourself onto an anger management workshop or at the very least read a book such as Beating Anger by Mike Fisher.

 

Expand your communication skills by practising the tools contained in Creating the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix or in my own book, Life-Changing Conversations.  Keeping the air clear and free of past resentments will do wonders for you both.

 

8.    Have some “me” time

 

Although it may sound somewhat paradoxical, it’s important to spend time apart when you’re in coupleland. It’s a tragedy that many people lose themselves in a relationship and feel “less than” they were before—less attractive, less interesting, less fulfilled.

 

To minimise the risk of this, take regular doses of your own company. Do whatever it takes to stay grounded in your own experience whether this is through going for a walk, writing your journal or listening to music. Some breathing space will invigorate your relationship, not least because you’ll have things to share with your partner.

 

9.    Decide how you decide

 

Many a relationship has suffered as a result of one individual making decisions without consulting their partner. It can leave the other person reeling, feeling that their opinion doesn’t matter. Any couple will benefit from having a conversation about how they make decisions together, for example, agreeing up front the sum of money above which a decision must be joint.

 

For significant decisions, agree that you’ll both take time separately to consider the different options and then share your thoughts. Moving from “me” to “we” in this way maximises the likelihood that you’ll reach decisions that take into account each person’s perspective. Finding practical ways of integrating both individual’s needs is a key relationship skill.

 

10.  See the bigger picture

 

Drop your expectations that your partner is there to make you happy. If you’re expecting them to provide you with something you haven’t brought into the relationship yourself, you may be making the biggest mistake of your life. Ask yourself how you can evolve into a bigger version of yourself without demanding anything of your partner.

 

Place what is happening in your relationship into the larger context of how you are growing as an individual. Are you becoming more sensitive, more selfless or more savvy? Staying in touch with the bigger picture will stop you from retreating to your corner and enable you to create a life-enhancing relationship.

 

Sarah Rozenthuler

 

Author of Life-Changing Conversations

 

www.sarahrozenthuler.com

 

Britain’s Wittiest Celebrity Is….

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“We’re just going to draw the raffle numbers now…”

 

WIGGO CROWNED BRITAIN’S WITTIEST CELEBRITY

 

Bradley Wiggins, Boris Johnson and Ian Holloway named as Britain’s greatest living wits

·         Bradley Wiggins takes gold as ‘king of the quips’

·         Stars from sports, politics, television, film and music make top ten

·         Top three wits invited to perform at Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival

Olympic and Tour De France cycling champ Bradley Wiggins has been named as Britain’s greatest living wit.  The 2012 Sports Personality of the Year triumphed over a host of witty celebrities from the diverse fields of sport, politics, music and film in a nationwide poll to be named king of the quips.

Over 2,000 British adults took part in the survey, which was specially commissioned to mark the start of Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival, 8th – 24th February 2013.  A panel from the comedy channel compiled a shortlist of the 25 wittiest British celebrities of recent years, taking care to exclude professional comedians and those working directly in the field of comedy.  The shortlist was then put to the public vote to find Britain’s greatest wits.

Cycling hero Bradley Wiggins emerged triumphant with over a fifth of the public vote (20.75%) with comedy lines such as “we’re just going to draw the raffle numbers now,” as he started his speech to the crowds on the Champs Elysees who had come to witness his Tour de France victory.

Mayor of London Boris Johnson came in at second place with 17.65% of the vote.  The London leader’s knack for a witty quip was summed up in his observation of extra-curricular activities in the Olympic Village during the 2012 Games in London; “Inspire a generation’ is our motto. Not necessarily ‘Create a generation’ … which is what they sometimes get up to in the Olympic village.”

Third place went to the much loved Ian Holloway (14.30%), manager of football club Crystal Palace, with witticisms such as; “Right now, everything is going wrong for me – if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb!”

 

Completing the top ten are Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson, musicians Robbie Williams, Noel Gallagher and Rod Stewart, The Apprentice’s Lord Sugar, actor Colin Firth and TV presenter Ant McPartlin (full results listed below).

 

Overall Top 10 Wittiest British Celebrities
1 20.75% Bradley Wiggins – When making a speech to the Champs Elysées crowds who had come to see his Tour de France victory: “We’re just going to draw the raffle numbers now.” On winning Sports Personality of the Year: “Nan, the cheques in the post, because you hit redial god knows how many times.”

 

After someone threw tacks on the road, causing punctures for a number of riders: “There are hopefully enough police on this race to find the people and… send them to a football match or something.”
2 17.65% Boris Johnson – On extra-curricular activities in the Olympic village: “Inspire a generation’ is our motto. Not necessarily ‘Create a generation’ … which is what they sometimes get up to in the Olympic village.”On becoming Prime Minister: “My chances of being PM are about as good as the chances of finding Elvis on Mars, or my being reincarnated as an olive.”Talking about if Ken Livingstone did a good job as a major “Nothing immediately springs to mind. I think losing the election last time was one of his most magnificent acts.”
3 14.30% Ian Holloway – “Right now, everything is going wrong for me – if I fell in a barrel of boobs, I’d come out sucking my thumb!” “I love Blackpool. We’re very similar. We both look better in the dark.”

 

After QPR beat Cardiff: “I couldn’t be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season.”
4 13.90% Lord Sugar – To Apprentice candidates: “I’ve read all your CVs and on paper you all look good, but so does fish and chips.” To an Apprentice candidate: “You remind me of one of those knock-off DVDs. At first glance quite convincing, but afterwards you’re just impossible to follow.”

 

On how to dress for an interview “Turning up looking scruffy is not good. Then again, if you’re going for an interview with Richard Branson, and you’re in a T-shirt with half your breakfast down the front of it, he might think that was cool.”
5 12.75% Jeremy Clarkson – “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?” “If all the creatures on earth were the same size, it’s said a lobster would have the smallest brain. But then someone invented Wayne Rooney.”

 

“This is a Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Oh good, I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases!”
6 11.05% Robbie Williams – “I am the only man who can say he’s been in Take That and at least two members of the Spice Girls.” “Madonna looked amazing. I can’t believe she’s 89 and looks like that.”

 

“I met Courtney Love and she said she’d like to sleep with me, but she couldn’t cos of my “pop-star thing”… so I said to her I couldn’t sleep with her either – cos of her ‘ugly thing’…”
7 10.85% Noel Gallagher – On his brother Liam: “He’s the angriest man you’ll ever meet, a man with a fork in a world of soup.” On Wayne Rooney’s hair transplant: “I’m not having it, He looks like a f**king balloon with a f**king Weetabix crushed on to it.”

 

“Liam only has two problems – everything he f**king says and everything he f**king does.”
8 8.65% Rod Stewart – “Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and just give her a house.” “I’ve been lucky with my hair.  I couldn’t deal with it if I’d run out of barnet.  Imagine me with a Bobby Charlton comb over.”

 

“It’s often said that a band is like a family, and that may well be true, depending on how often your family is tired and drunk.”
9 8.15% Ant McPartlin – “Our first flat, in South-West London, was a pig-sty. Peter Andre lived in the flat above us and in the evenings he’d go to the gym while we’d be working on our own six packs – of beer.” “Sony Records approached us to make the official England World Cup single. Our first reaction was: ‘Didn’t you ever hear any of our music?’”

 

“We were pensioned off at 18. Even though Byker Grove was a success the BBC wanted to appeal to younger viewers. To be fair, real-life 18-year-olds don’t hang around youth clubs.”
10 7.25% Colin Firth – “Colin is the sort of name you give your goldfish for a joke.” “My singing voice is somewhere between a drunken apology and a plumbing problem.”

 

On Hugh Grant potentially retiring from acting: “All we can do is hope and pray.”

 

Female celebrities failed to make their mark in the overall top ten line-up.  From those that comprised the shortlist, Strictly Come Dancing’s Claudia Winkleman and pop star Lily Allen led the way for the girls, with controversial reality TV favourite, Sharon Osbourne following closely behind.

 

Steve North, General Manager of Dave, comments, “Britain is a hotbed of comedy talent and it’s clear you don’t have to be on the comedy payroll to get the nation laughing, as our top ten of Britain’s greatest living wits encompasses celebrities from diverse fields including the worlds of sport, music, film and politics. Our winner, Bradley Wiggins has a special place in the nation’s heart which seems to be on account of his red hot wit as well as his incredible sporting abilities. We have extended invitations to all those in the top three to appear at this year’s Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival and hope they will agree to appear.

 

 

 

Top 3 Wittiest Female British Celebrities all placed outside of overall Top 10
= 1 3.85% Claudia Winkleman – “To be a TV presenter all you have to do is dye your skin a walnut colour, use an entire eyeliner stick on each eye and try not to fall over while you’re reading from an autocue.” On her job: “I just flounce in and ask people some stupid questions and then come home again. And it won’t last long because I’m 94 so it’ll end any minute and I’ll have to find something else to do.”

 

“I don’t work very hard, I dye myself orange and I read out loud in the months from September to December when Strictly is on.”
= 1 3.85% Lily Allen – “I was a drug dealer in Ibiza at 15. I did not excel in drug dealing – I was terrible at it. Golden rule with drug dealing – don’t get too enthusiastic with your own merchandise.” “I’d like to say work and sex have replaced drugs but there’s not been enough time off work for sex. This must change.”

 

Of her song ‘F**k You’: “I’d like to dedicate this next song to someone. David Cameron.”
3 2.65% Sharon Osbourne – “If anybody says their facelift doesn’t hurt, they’re lying. It was like I’d spent the night with an axe murderer.” On Prince Harry’s naked escapades: “Fabulous. I was really upset I wasn’t there because I could have had a good look and a grab.”

 

“Have you seen U2’s live show? It’s boring as hell. It’s like watching CNN.”

 

Betting on The BAFTAs or Grammys? Here’s The Latest Odds.

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If you are having a flutter on the BAFTAs or Grammys read the latest odds from Frost and Paddy Power first.

BAFTA:

Best Film

Argo is still the film to catch and is a massive 1/4 odds on to scoop best film at Sunday’s BAFTAs. Paddy Power is also offering 1/2 that it does the double and wins Best Picture at the Oscars as well. As for the others:

– Lincoln – 9/2

– Les Miserables – 6/1

– Life Of Pi – 25/1

– Zero Dark Thirty – 40/1


Leading Actress

Leading Actress category is dominated by three main contenders – 8/11 Jennifer Lawrence, 9/4 Jessica Chastain and 11/4 Emmanuella Riva. The also rans include 33/1 Marion Cotillard and 40/1 Dame Helen Mirren

Leading Actor

And the winner goes to ‘Daniel Day-Lewis’ – never before have the bookmakers been so sure about the outcome of best actor setting unbackable odds of 1/40 – meaning for every £40 staked, you will win £1. For what it’s worth, Hugh Jackman is 10/1, Joaquin Phoenix 25/1 Bradley Cooper 50/1 and Ben Affleck 50/1

Best Director

Another category that’s all but said and done – Ben Affleck is miles ahead in the betting at 1/7, while second favourite Kathryn Bigelow is 7/1 and Ang Lee 15/2.

*GRAMMY:

Bring on the bling, but no buttocks of boobs please. Grammy performers have been warned to avoid ‘see through’ clothes and ensure all wobbly bits are ‘adequately’ covered. Yeah right.

Paddy Power is offering 4/1 for at least one pair of female nipples to be visible during the ceremony and have installed Rihanna at 13/8 as the most likely culprit to ‘to have missed the memo’.

Meanwhile ‘Somebody That I Used to Know by Gotye featuring Kimbra is the even money favourite to win record of the year, ahead of 3/1 We Are Young by Fun, featuring Janelle Monae.

Mumford & Sons are the odds on favourites to scoop album of the year for Babel, while Jack Antonoff, Jeff Bhasker, Andrew Dost & Nate Ruess look to have one hand each on the song of the year category for We Are Young.

Last but not least, The Black Keys are tipped to land Rock Album of the year:

Record of the Year

11/10 Somebody That I Used to Know – Gotye Featuring Kimbra

3/1 We Are Young – Fun. featuring Janelle Monáe

4/1 Lonely Boy – The Black Keys

8/1 Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

15/1 We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together – Taylor Swift

20/1 Thinkin Bout You – Frank Ocean

Album of the Year

4/9 Babel – Mumford & Sons

3/1 El Camino – The Black Keys

5/1 Channel Orange – Frank Ocean

10/1 Some Nights – Fun

12/1 Blunderbuss – Jack White

Song of the Year

8/15 We Are Young – Jack Antonoff, Jeff Bhasker, Andrew Dost & Nate Ruess, songwriters (Fun. featuring Janelle Monáe)

5/2 Call Me Maybe – Tavish Crowe, Carly Rae Jepsen & Josh Ramsay, songwriters (Carly Rae Jepsen)

5/1 Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Jörgen Elofsson, David Gamson, Greg Kurstin & Ali Tamposi, songwriters (Kelly Clarkson)

10/1 The A Team – Ed Sheeran, songwriter (Ed Sheeran)

12/1 Adorn – Miguel Pimentel, songwriter (Miguel)

Best New Artist

6/4 FuN

13/8 Frank Ocean

11/4 Hunter Hayes

8/1 The Lumineers

18/1 Alabama Shakes

Best Rock Album

1/2 El Camino – The Black Keys

3/1 Blunderbuss – Jack White

5/1 Wrecking Ball – Bruce Springsteen

8/1 Mylo Xyloto – Coldplay

12/1 The 2nd Law – Muse

CBS Wardrobe ‘Obscenity’ Specials

4/1 Any onstage performer or award winner to wear see-through clothing that could possibly expose female breast nipples

6/1 Any onstage performer or award winner to have an organized cause visibly spelled out his T-Shirt

12/1 Any Foreign language to appear on performer or award winners outfits

First to Break the CBS Wardrobe Advise onstage

13/8 Rihanna

2/1 Beyonce

4/1 Katy Perry

5/1 Taylor Swift

10/1 Jennifer Lopez

15/1 Alicia Keys

33/1 Kelly Clarkson

New Film From The Makers of Prose & Con

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Filmmakers Catherine Balavage and Steve McAleavy.

The filmmakers behind Prose & Cons, a black comedy about poetry, alcoholism and plagiarism, have started an ambitious new project: The Descending of Fate.

The script is written by Catherine Balavage who also co-wrote Prose & Cons. It will be produced, directed and edited by Catherine and filmmaking partner Steve McAleavy.

The film is about a 10-year-old boy who kills his best friend. Was it an accident? Can people be rehabilitated? Can forgiveness every be given, to yourself and others? And is it right that someone should be blamed for the worst thing they have done for the rest of their life?

A dark drama about criminal responsibility and healing. Will life ever be the same again?

[disclaimer: Catherine Balavage writes for this magazine]

Win a Copy of Hotel Transylvania

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Frost has copies of fun family comedy Hotel Transylvania to give away. Adam Sandler plays Dracula, who operates a high-end resort away from the human world, goes into overprotective mode when a boy discovers the resort and falls for the count’s teen-aged daughter.

 

To win follow @Frostmag on Twitter. Alternatively, sign up to our newsletter.

 

Fun Facts about Monsters

 

Monsters are more scared of you than you are of them; they can be very friendly and are often just misunderstood!

 

Frankenstein 

 

Doctor Frankenstein is the name of a mad scientist who created a monster and gave it life

 

Doctor Frankenstein made his monster by stitching different human body parts together, and made it come alive by giving it an electric shock

 

The monster is commonly called “Frankenstein,” but he was never actually given a name

 

Dracula 

 

Dracula has studied magic and can vanish and re-appear somewhere else

 

Dracula can turn into a bat and fly!

 

Dracula lives in a big castle in the mountains in Transylvania

 

Werewolves 

 

A werewolf is a human who sometimes turns into a wolf

 

Curved fingernails, red hair, eyebrows that meet, hair that grows beneath the skin are all signs of a werewolf

 

Werewolves are very active during a full moon

 

Mummies 

 

Mummies come from Egypt

The word “mummy” comes from an Arabic word for a black gooey stuff

Did you know mummies have been found wearing hats?

If you broke your leg it would be wrapped up like a modern mummy

 

Hotel Transylvania is out on Blu-ray 3D, Blu-ray and DVD now. 

 

If you’d like to win some amazing Hotel Transylvania goodies, check out the MONSTER ME Facebook App https://www.facebook.com/CheckInToHotelT/app_327244267386693  You and the children could win a Micro Scooter by uploading a video of them doing monster impressions from the film, enter if you dare!