This week was quite a shocker for celebrity news. Katie Holmes is divorcing Tom Cruise after five years together citing ‘irreconcilable differences’. Cruise has hit back by filing for divorce in California, a move which will hinder Holmes’ chance of full custody of their daughter, Suri.
Katie’s lawyer, Jonathan Wolfe, confirmed the news and told People magazine: “This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family.
“Katie’s primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter’s best interest.”
The couple married 2006 in an Italian castle after dating for only two months.
Cruise jumper up and down on Oprah’s couch stating ‘I’m in love’ in 2005. Watch the video.
Adele has announced she is pregnant via her website.
“I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together, I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time. Yours always, Adele xx”
Adele’s 36-year-old boyfriend Simon Konecki runs the charity Drop4Drop. They have been together since January.
Tell us about your day job. You are head of business management at Aviva
“Basically, it is a business management role. It’s just insuring that the business operates and that the department runs effectively. So there is a risk audit, finance, a bit of HR. I provide support to the COO and the leadership team. So I make things happen and I get things done. I very much enjoy it, it’s a supportive role. I am mentoring other people in Aviva as well and growing a talent pool. I have some good relationships here and let it be said that Aviva have been massively supportive to the website. They know I run the website, they know that I go off and do charity things and they are one of the most supportive employers I have ever worked for. It’s a fantastic place to work.”
If you could have had any other career what would it have been?
“When I left school, I thought I wanted to be a policewoman, and then I thought I wanted to be a lawyer, then a judge, then I wanted to go into the army. So when I look back, they are all quite authoritarian, so I definitely wanted to rule the world in some kind of guise. If I could have had another career I think I would have been a midwife, because it was something that always interested me. I don’t know if I would have had the guts to do it, but I liked the thought of bringing children into the world.
“The funny thing was is that I was not naturally maternal before I had kids, if I heard a child crying in the supermarket I would be like, ‘Shut that child up’. When I had my own baby, it kicked in. I always found it hard to play with children because I was an only child and I played on my own. When I play with my own children, I tend to go off on my own and I have to bring myself back again. I was just used to playing that way. I would still like to be a midwife actually. It is still something that interests me to this day.”
You have won a lot of awards, which ones are you particularly proud of?
“The women in banking and finance award I was very proud of. My mum and dad were there and my dad hadn’t been very well. They divorced 38 years ago but they get along really well. To have them both there was special to me because they have seen me get to where I have gotten to. It was great to be recognised by such a wonderful body. That means so much to me. For the second one, I went to Washington to pick it up. That was a global award and the same one as the three women I have nominated have won. So I have said to my girls, “No more awards please’. I have won quite a lot. My job now is to judge awards and put other women forward, raise their profile and help them along in their career. I have had five award winners in the past year.”
That’s a good rate!
“That is a good rate. But all of them have achieved amazing things, setting up networks, giving effort and giving back to the next generation of women. So if I am in a position to help them, then of course I am going to.”
Your parents must be very proud of you.
“Yeah. My mum is my biggest fan. I mean, she helps me a lot. There is a lot of support behind me. There is my childminder, I don’t think I could do anything without her. There is an ironing man who comes and collects my ironing. It’s the best £30 a week I have ever spent. He would be the last to go. My husband is a huge support. There are a lot of people who enable me to do what I do. I help them all back in different ways. It’s a two-way street. My mum still works, she’s only young, she’s not even 60 yet. So obviously she helps me as much as she can. She is also my best friend. That helps. I confide in her a lot. When I am getting too tired she is the one that says to me, ‘Enough’.”
Mums know
“Exactly, mums know. I am like a train, I just keep going.”
How important is the support of Wearethecity for women?
“There has been a shortage of women in financial services, engineering and IT. The gender issue it not as prevalent as it once was, but at a high level, there is a lack of women in senior roles. And then there is a shortage of women making it onto boards. The City gets a lot of bad press, but we do contribute to the world economy, the UK’s economy. It’s not all million pound bonuses. You are talking about a very small percentage of people. It’s not all financial workers either, there are a lot of people who work in the periphery, you have the bars and the restaurants, and the shops and the retail outfits. It is not just financial services.
“I would encourage women to come up here and try to work. Try and see if they can have a career in the City. It is an exciting time and we are waiting here to support them.”
What do you think of the current government? Do you think they are doing a good job?
“I try to stay clear of politics. One of the things I don’t get involved in is politics. I don’t stay on top of the policies or anything like that. I have no particular alliance to any party. What I would comment on is when they do things that affect young families, because it is a struggle having kids and bringing them up. Childcare is a major thing for young couples, and women returning to work and stuff like that. I have no particular pick of the politicians, I don’t think any of them can be trusted. That would be the only thing I would say.”
Do you think you have a good work/life balance?
“Sometimes not. It was an unique week last week. I dropped my phone down the toilet, I lost my cash card, and I had tonsillitis, one of the kids caught nits, it was just a calamity of errors. I got lost on the same stretch of motorway that I have driven on a hundred times for an hour and a half, going backwards and forwards. I think I was just having one of those weeks. On Sunday night I didn’t get to bed until 11. I didn’t get to wash my hair so it’s dry shampoo on the Monday as I’m going out the door.
“There are weeks when I get it and I learn to appreciate when I’ve got that balance. When it’s Sunday night and the kids are clean, my personal emails are clear and I am on top of work – everything is in it’s box and I have learned to appreciate those moments for what they are because they don’t come around that often. Sometimes, 80% is good enough. If 80% of my washing is done, if there is a little bit in the basket, then I don’t need to tick the box. Sometimes you have to accept that some things are out of your control. You just have to do what you can. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
I work for a good employer, so I only work four days a week. My one day a week off I spend on wearethecity, on my charities, on the awards, I pick my kids up and I drop them off. I have been offered lots of different jobs, even when I have been working here and I haven’t taken them because the employers were not open to me working flexibly. That doesn’t work for me as I have lots of commitments. I am a non exec to charities, I’m a school governor, I’ve got two kids and I can’t do it all without a certain level of flexibility from the people that I work for.”
How do you relax? Do you relax?
“Lots of people would say no, but I know when I need a break. In a couple of weeks, I am going off to Spain on my own for two days and I have booked my bed by the pool. I will just lay there. I relax by thinking, believe it or not. I am not like any girl. I don’t like shopping, believe it or not. I can’t think of anything worse than trying on clothes. I also have a big beef with high street sizes. You can go in one shop and feel great because you’re a size 12 and you go in another shop and you are in a 16. The labelling is all wrong. It can ruin your shopping experience.
“Because I am an only child I am quite comfortable in my own company. Much as I always say I need my sisters – I think the network that I hang out with are my family – I still like taking time out to be on my own. I try and not do anything.
“I am never without my phone. I’ve got two and I can text on both of them at the same time. I will give any child a text competition run for their money. I get up at half five to get my own personal email down and get my own stuff done, so when the kids get up it’s their time. My life is like a military operation. So when I do get some down time, I do take it.”
Anything else?
“Wearethecity are opening a job board in September. Women can have a portfolio career. I want to teach women that they can come and work here. I would like to think in my lifetime that I make a difference. I would love for a woman to achieve something and we don’t all celebrate because it is not a rare thing. I hope that happens in my tenure, the next 40 years or however long I live. That would put a smile on my face.”
I met Vanessa in the City. She is fashionable, warm, friendly and passionate. I came to interview her about her amazing site for women in the City: wearethecity.com. A place where women can find help and advice with their work, life and careers.
Vanessa Vallely: “There are three core values that I had in mind when I set it up that hold true. One, that we provide a platform for female entrepreneurs to get their products to market on the basis that it fits into our members’ demographic. We do that by taking away hefty advertising fees for them and to give female entrepreneurs a bit of a leg up. We are also a conduit to charities to get to high net worth women. We will actively promote any network or any organisation that is free that will develop skills for women. So probably 40% of what we do on the website falls into that value set, that is really important to me.”
Frost: First of all, what are you wearing? You look great.
VV: “I am wearing a Britt Lintner dress with my normal Gucci shoes and scarf. She is a fantastic designer. She set herself up a couple of years ago doing dresses and managed to get her collection into Harrods, although she’s taking some time out because she’s raising some small children.”
When did you know you wanted to go into business?
“I left school at 16 with just a couple of GSCEs and headed out into the city with 15 pence and a bag of ambition because I wanted to change my lifestyle and my mum’s as well. We come from a very socially and economically-challenged background, so I knew that I wanted to be successful, I knew that the financial district was two miles away from where I lived and that was where I was going to start.
“I actually realised I wanted to develop the website three years ago due to my frustration with not having a site that covered everything in my life. There needs to be a bit of lifestyle in there because let’s not hide it, I am a woman. I need to eat, I need to have my hair done, I need to find a dentist. But I also wanted to upskill myself outside of my corporate environment, so how was I going to that?
“Women’s networks, courses I could go on – for me it’s frustrating. If I Googled that information, I would spend hours on the internet. I wanted to find it all on one site so my husband said, ‘Why don’t you create a website for women?’ and we built it together.
“So that’s when I knew that I wanted to work for myself. I love my corporate job and run the website outside of work.
“My aspirations in 10 years time are to be the CEO of a charity, because I do a lot for charity still.”
Tell me about being a Pearly Queen?
“It has been in my family for 100 years. The Pearly Kings and Queens were started by an Orphan called Henry Croft and he used to sew buttons on his suit, he was a rat-catcher in the markets.
“If you think about London 100-odd years ago it was still markets, no superstores or anything. So he used to hang around the markets with the costermongers who were the apple sellers. They used to sew buttons on their suits and were called flash boys.
“If the costermongers were down on their luck, their entire family was affected if someone was ill. There was no social security then, so he used to raise money in the markets for his fellow orphans. Eventually he was so much in demand, he couldn’t be at all the markets, so he made head Pearly Kings and Queens of each of the 20 boroughs of the London of the time and they’d raise money for individuals in that borough. My granddad was pearly King of East London and he passed that title to my father and my father passed it to me.
“I have been a Pearly Queen since I was three years old. I was Pearly Queen of Hoxton until this year when I gave that title to my 11-year-old daughter and I have taken the City of London from my dad. So we still go out and put our buttons on for various charities. I don’t quite sing and dance the way I used to, but it is a lovely part of London heritage and we are as famous as the Chelsea Pensioners, so why not do it? The fact that I have a profile in the City helps because it could die out with people getting old.”
I read that you could see the city from….
“I could, from my tower block window. I lived on the 18th floor and could see NatWest tower. I used to say to my mum, ‘I am going to work there one day and I am going to change how we live’. My first job was in that building.
I drive past there now and I look up at that tower block and I think, That’s where it all began’. We were broke half the time. There were lots of people with challenges and me and my mum were one of them, but bit-by-bit we made it out through sheer hard work. Most of my childhood was spent going to school and then cleaning betting shops until 11 pm. I don’t know if my mum still has it, but I think there’s a picture where I am holding a mop that is bigger than I am. I still love to clean – mopping and stuff like that.”
Was it hard getting to where you are now? Any reinforced ceilings?
“Yes, in the City I was different in a time when diversity wasn’t really appreciated. I didn’t speak the right way, I didn’t look right, and had a bit of an attitude. I was quite precocious and quite a forceful individual because I wanted to get ahead. I never had a college network to back me up, I never knew anyone, so I had to fight my corner a little bit harder.
“There were individuals who I worked for along the way who told me I can’t do what I have done. They said I’ll never succeed or I’ll never cut it or I’ll never get that job. I love people like that because they fuel my fire and I love to say to them, ‘Well, actually, you were wrong’.”
It’s all connections isn’t it?
“Absolutely. And I spent the past six years building those connections, not just for me, but for other people. I find people jobs, I mentor, I connect businesses, source providers. I spend probably 30% of my week connecting people to others. That’s why my strapline is ‘Make The Magic Happen’. They can go off and do stuff together. They call me a ‘contentpreneur’. I enjoy doing that and enjoy hearing about what other people have done as a result, because I feel like I was part of it.”
I heard that you were the most connected women in London….
“I do know a lot of people. I do agree that there are only three degrees of separation. I can get to most people if I need to. But I don’t call on favours often. I only call on them when I need them. I am more likely to be found giving favours or doing stuff for other people. That’s my model and I enjoy doing it.”
What do you think made you successful?
“Passion and drive. But also I open most conversations with, ‘what can I do for that person?’ and I think what you end up with is thanks. You are good to other people and they want to help you back. Also volunteering for things other people didn’t want to do. People would say, ‘oh, I don’t want to do that’ if there was a project that was really messy. I was the first one with my hands up, because I think you learn so much as a consequence of being in a mess, fixing it, and getting yourself out of that mess.
“I have always volunteered for projects that other people don’t want and for things I don’t necessarily have the expertise for. There are things I have worked on when I’d have to come home and study. I would read books and call on my network, saying, ‘Can you help me understand this stuff?’. I am not a hugely academic person, but I get things done and I have people skills. I get along so well with people. I think if you approach it a certain way, then people will help you.”
What do you think about the global economy?
“I think we’re in a tight space. I think we have been in a tight space since 2008. You look at what happened with the banks out there, Northern Rock and stuff, it has had a knock-on effect. It’s wider now, it’s countrywide, Portugal, Greece, Ireland.
“I think it’s a tough place to be. I think it’s a tough time for businesses, but I also think tough times are the best place to grow sometimes. You are starting from a very low point. I think there are people who will thrive as a consequence, but we have to watch what we are doing. It’s difficult. It’s difficult for public services, schools, I mean I do a lot of work within charities who have had their funding cut. I think the whole world is feeling the pinch. It’s a scary place to be.”
What was the original idea behind Wearethecity.com?
“It was my frustration that there wasn’t really a website for women. There wasn’t something that showed me a one-stop shop where I could make a change. There are now 20-30 charities that we promote and we have over 200 writers.
“These are girls that have never written for publications before and are amazingly talented. Some of them want to share their experiences and they are writing about a myriad of things, those problems that women face in their careers, life, childcare, elderly care, career aspirations, setting up a business. We are giving them the opportunity.
Wearethecity has grown from being a website that was built on an £8 a month web builder tool that anyone can get off the internet to a website that gets a million and a half hits every single month.
“Let it be noted that I have not done it on my own. There wouldn’t be a me without my husband. He built the website, he is the technical person, he has a full-time job, he believes in the power of women, he believes in me and it is a very supportive partnership. That enables me to do what I do. It is shared responsibility. Yes, when the kids are away we have an argument about whose week was more important, but he is a massive support, I couldn’t do it without him.”
How do you juggle kids with a career?
“Again, it’s a tough one. The kids come first. They have to come first. You have to spend quality time with them and it is quality time. I get up at 5:30 in the morning, generally I am pulling letters out of school bags, I write a few cheques, and I get prepared. I have a childminder that comes at 6:30, I literally hand over as I am walking out of the door. I get into work at 8:45 and I do my full day job. I see people, I do work on wearethecity on lunch breaks or after work, so I don’t mix the two.
When I am here in work, I am here in work. I do my emails on the train. I get home at 7. I see the children, the childminder goes. We tend to do a lot of quality stuff. We go to the theatre and we travel a lot because we live in quite a middle class white area and I grew up in the culturally mixing pot that is Hackney. I don’t want my kids growing up thinking the world is flat or white. I want them to have an appreciation of different religions and cultures. We cook a meal from the culture that we are visiting and then we travel there.
“My kids have a huge world map, probably three feet by two feet, that I bought them a few years ago. Every year, we choose two countries and then we go through a process. They do a little project, we talk about it, we cook a meal and we go. My kids can navigate Heathrow airport, Gatwick, Stansted like you would not believe. It has helped them to grow up. I want them to be the kind of individual who would see a person properly, for what they are, not what they look like or what their beliefs are. That is very important to me.”
Do you think the City is a good environment for women?
If you think of where we came from in the last 40 years, from being able to vote and stuff like that, I still think it is sad that we have to celebrate en masse when a women gets a board position. I would rather that was the norm.
“I also think women in my position should be role models and mentor these women because we need to build the next generation – that next pool of talent – or we’ll never get women who are ambitious enough to get onto boards.
It’s a good spot for women. The young girls that I talk to are coming out with different dreams and aspirations, with a ‘why can’t I?’ attitude, which I like because I think women should continue to push boundaries and I fully support that.”
What advice would you give to other women in business?
“Don’t take no for an answer. Try to remove the emotion. With some things that happen, it’s very easy to get a bit deflated. They just have to dust themselves off, get up and keep trying.
“Networking is one of the most important tools. Meet people, even if you can’t see an immediate need for your business. You never know when that person’s name is going to come up, so spend a lot of time networking with the right peer group. Keep those relationships warm, don’t be transactional, keep in touch even if it’s not a close contact. If it’s a peripheral contact, keep in touch every six months. Drop them an email saying. ‘I thought of you’, that sort of thing. That is massively important.
“Don’t give up. If you have a dream in your head, think about, ‘How do I get there?’. You may be back at the start and your dream is two miles ahead, so how do we get to mile one? Who do we need to help us to get there? What do I need to learn?
“Visualise that short-term goal, but keep the long-term one in mind as well. You just have to keep pushing on. It’s not always easy. I’m not perfect. I had times when I put my head in my hands and thought, ‘Why am I doing this?’ Or when I want to give up, that network around me are the ones that give me the push. You need to push on. That is what I give to my network now.”
I know what you mean, I have times when I think, ‘I can’t do this’.
“But then one of your friends will be strong and they will say, ‘Yes you can’. Then they might have a moment. I think it’s a fantastic time for women, and again, if you hang out with the right set of women who support women, it’s a fantastic place to be.”
It was Madeleine Albright who said there is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women [Vanessa finishes the quote with me]
Absolutely. And she’s spot on. She said a lot of profound things. She is one of my women that I aspire to. She’s amazing.”
It is an annoying myth that women don’t help other women.
“I can honestly say 99% of women I associate with are absolutely supportive. If we don’t make a difference, if we don’t support other women, if we don’t tell young girls that they can do it, and influence and navigate….
“I don’t think a woman should ever change her make up. I look back at the pictures of me early in my career and I look like a guy, I have a pinstripe suit on. The only thing that says I am feminine is my hair and a bit of make up, because that’s how I thought I needed to be. In order to succeed, I needed to be one of them. I needed to be a ball breaker, I needed to be, ‘I don’t care. I’ll sack that one and I don’t care’.
But you know what? I am absolutely proud to be a woman. Unfortunately, women get labelled very easily, so if you are outspoken about something, you are having an emotional breakdown. If you react to something in a certain way: you’re sensitive, so it is very easy to slap a label on women, and I am like, ‘Why can’t my outburst be described the same as yours? I have a label and you are just being seen as being passionate. There is no difference.”
It’s like that quote: a women who has an opinion is a bitch, but a man with an opinion is strong.
“Exactly. A man and women can say the same statement and people will go ‘Ooh!!’ to the woman and with a man they just say, ‘Alright’. They see things how they are and won’t bat an eyelid. It is easy for women to be labeled and it’s a shame, it shouldn’t be that way.”
At Frost Magazine we have become quite obsessed with the new sci-fi multi-platform Collider. We have the webisode exclusively before anyone else. Check out webisode 5 below and let us know your thoughts.
I wanted to see something a bit different when I went to see this film and the stellar cast had me excited. The film is based on a self-help book by the same name by Heidi Murkoff.
The film has five couples all “expecting”. Elizabeth Banks has always been a wonderful and strong comedic actress and this film is no exception. She is proof that women can be beautiful and funny if casting directors give them a chance. Jennifer Lopez’s character and storyline is real and touching. She adopts with her husband after spending the 401K money on IVF. Cameron Diaz plays a celebrity fitness guru who wins Dancing With The Stars and get’s pregnant by her dance partner, played by Glee star Matthew Morrison. Diaz character is strong-willed and likes having it her own way.
Chris Rock is on top form as the leader of the ‘dudes group’. The dudes group is a support team for men with children. I really liked this film. The cast is superb and it is both funny and real at the same time. The story of a series of couples who are ‘expecting’ is one I have not seen done in a film before.
This film is positive about men and women. The characters are strong and I really liked the script. The film is funny and entertaining. A few of the cast were previously in Bridesmaids and some of that humour is there.
This film is a great night out at the cinema. Entertaining and funny. I liked how it was pro-men too. Chris Rocks says at the end: “When I was young, I used to think I was happy – but now I know I’m happy. Exhausted, but happy.”
Director: Kirk Jones. Cast: Cameron Diaz, Jennifer Lopez, Elizabeth Banks, Chace Crawford, Anna Kendrick, Matthew Morrison, Dennis Quaid, Chris Rock.
Father’s day has been and gone but one thing is becoming clear: the times there are a changin’.
Online marketplace notonthehighstreet.com reveals the evolution of ‘Dad’ with nationwide survey.
A survey of over 1,000 respondents has found that modern day fathers are more likely to be seen in the kitchen preparing the evening meal, or with a duster and hoover sprucing up the house, in comparison to the ‘traditional’ idea of fathers whose primary role was seen to be working and other stereotypical male roles. The nationwide survey showing that while 77% of respondents recall the traditional primary role of the father from their own childhoods to be concerned with earning the keep, 70% now view the modern day father’s primary role to be cooking.
Further results from the survey showed the following:
* When growing up, respondents remember their father’s taking on roles such as working, painting and decorating, DIY, gardening and taking the bins out.
* When asked which roles the modern day father is known for, the top three primary roles were cooking (70%), shopping (61%) and cleaning (58%)
* Results showed that modern day fathers are 48% less likely to discipline their children in comparison to the generation of fathers before them.
* Results also found that the modern day father is much more likely to take an active, fun parental role with their children. It was found that fathers are now 49% more likely to spend time playing with their children and 48% more likely to take their children to school.
Kate Middleton may now be the Duchess of Cambridge, but she has been told that she must bow to ‘blood’ royals when her Prince is not around.
Middle-class Middleton has come a long way but the Queen has updated the Order of Precedence to account for the Duke of Cambridge’s wife.
Kate must curtsy to the “blood princesses”, the Princess Royal, Princess Alexandra, and the daughters of the Duke of York, Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie when Prince William is not around as she does not have any blue blood in her veins.
When her husband is with her she only has to curtsy to the Prince of Wales, the Duchess of Cornwall, the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh.
If Kate thinks she has it bad then give the Countess of Wessex is probably even less happy, she has to curtsy to Kate even when William is not there.
The last time the order was updated after Prince Charles married Camilla the Countess of Wessex then had to curtsy to Camilla. According to a courtier: “She didn’t like it one bit,”
The Queen has changed the Order of Precedence “on blood principles”
What do you think? Would you curtsy to The Queen or another member of the Royal household?
I think I was interested in the arts and performing even before I was aware
of it. My mother says that as a child, I danced and sang around the house so
much that she put me in lessons as soon as I was old enough, because she
wanted me to learn how to do it right. My parents are both teachers, so their
solution for everything is education. It’s actually a pretty good philosophy.
As I grew conscious of my passions in life, I consistently made life
decisions that propelled me towards a life as a performing artist. Let’s just
say I never gravitated towards coal-mining.
Could you ever do anything else?
I guess the right answer is that I actually do many other things. Having
spent my life around many other actors, I have observed that I may be a
slightly different breed than most. I have a group of actor friends that I
started out with performing improv and sketch comedy with at Walt Disney
World, who are still doing only that; I have another group who I did a lot of
musical theatre with, who are still focusing only on Broadway; same with
opera people and comedy writers and commercial actors and episodic
television actors. I am really lucky in that I am actively able to book work in
all of these areas, and I consider that huge spectrum of interests to be my
pursuit as a whole, so if my universe is that huge, understandably there
really isn’t an “anything else” for me.
You famously said: ‘If this business kills me, it will be after everyone in it has my
headshot.’ That’s a go-getting attitude that can be missing in a lot of
performers. Do you agree?
My dear friend Bonnie Gillespie was kind enough to include that in her
brilliant book, “Self-Management for Actors.” When a newer edition came
out, she asked if she could include it again, and I said of course, except that
I didn’t want to imply that manically blanketing an acting market with
headshots was the technique I was espousing. I believe in being fiercely
motivated, but in a very focused and strategic manner. There’s a young actor
in LA, I haven’t seen him in a while, but this crazy kid literally plastered the
exterior of his car with his headshots. I swear! He drives around in this car
all day long hoping for, I don’t know, to get pulled over by a casting
director and get asked to do a monologue by the side of the road?? I don’t
know! But it’s pretty delusional and highly misguided. I guess what I meant
to say is that “If this business kills me, it will be after everyone in it whom I
have researched and targeted as potential buyers for my product has my headshot.”
Over the years, I have met so many actors; some have almost zero
motivation and ambition to do the basic work that is necessary to even have
a chance at success; others are rabidly foaming at the mouth and doing
everything they can desperately and inefficiently so that they can get ahead.
What I’ve learned from these actors is that there is a better way, there is a
sweet spot, where you have a calm, cool, focused energy that propels you
forward slowly, steadily, and intelligently. Wow, I think this is officially the
most Asian thing I have ever said!
I find you incredibly funny, has your sense of humour helped you survive in
showbusiness? Is it possible to do this without one?
Thank you! I think it’s literally impossible not to develop a sense of humor
as a professional actor. I was once asked to sing opera while running full
speed on a treadmill in a sequined gown. I was once told to continue
reciting my monologue while the casting director got on her cell phone and
ordered a chicken salad. I was once physically threatened by a male chorus
dancer. I mean, as actors, this is daily life, okay? And I think if you don’t
find it hilarious, you become seriously mentally damaged in a way that
prevents you from functioning in society as a normal adult. And then it
becomes this wonderful tool to help you consistently cope with the vast
array of indignities that actors face all the time.
What’s the hardest thing about being an actor?
The hardest thing about being an actor is when Chanel sends you so much
free couture from their latest collection that you run out of assistants to re-
gift them to. JUST KIDDING!!! That’s what most people think actors’
problems are. The general public is fed nothing but lies about our
profession, and they are only provided with the success narrative. It’s part
of the machine that allows the industry to maintain its operations, so you
have to accept that civilians are not ever going to get what most of us go
through. The most difficult thing is really how seldom we are actually able
to do our work, and that we must spend an inordinate amount of time doing
work that has nothing to do with performing in order to bankroll the pursuit
of our REAL work.
And the best?
The best thing about being an actor is getting to crash your car into an 18-
wheeler, blaming it all on your assistant, and showing up 4 hours late to set
where they will still tell you you’re the perfect choice to play Liz Taylor. HA
HA HAAA. Seriously, the best thing about this profession is that we are
constantly challenged to imagine what is possible. Every time I get an audition,
whatever it is, a commercial where I’m a pretty Asian mom, or an
opera where I’m a flying ghost bird-spirit, or a daytime drama where I’m the
secretary to the family patriarch, I get to make decisions about these
characters based on my imagination, my life experience, and what is on the
page. And no one else is going to make the same set of choices that I will.
Even if I don’t get the part, for a brief moment, for the duration of that
audition, my humanity was merged with that character, and I find great
fulfillment in my ability to execute that with consistency and quality.
What is your favourite thing that you have worked on?
My favorite thing that I have worked on is an original new work in which I
sang a principal role, with Los Angeles Opera. The piece was called “The
White Bird of Poston,” and it was newly commissioned specifically for the
purposes of educational and community outreach in the city of Los Angeles.
The opera is about the Japanese American Internment during World War II, a
very dark part of American history. The music and the story are so
beautifully written, I felt so honored to be a part of it, and I felt like it used
so many of my skills simultaneously—my classically trained voice, my
acting training, my dance training, and even a little bit of my abilities as a
comedienne. And on top of that, it had such profound cultural significance
to me as a Japanese American.
You have a great niche as an actress: you studied opera, has this greatly helped
your acting career or is it separate thing?
As I mentioned earlier, there are a lot of people that I started out with,
training and performing professionally as serious classical or musical
theatre singers, who are still completely focused on only that sector of
performance. For me, singing eventually became something glamorous and
glorious that I could just keep hidden in my back pocket, and whip it out
suddenly and just stun people with it as needed. This evolution mostly took
place because I moved from the New York acting market which is very
heavily theatre-based, to Los Angeles, which of course focuses much more
on, well, speaking and not singing. But even without the move, I think I was
really adamant about transcending musical theatre; I felt that I had more to
accomplish in other areas, and my interests had a much wider span than just
singing in musicals until I was dead.
Advice for actors?
My advice for actors is pretty depressing, but realistic. If at all possible, get
a degree in a subject that has nothing to do with drama or music. I’ve made
a lot of hideous mistakes in life, but the one thing I did right was to earn a
college degree in English literature instead of acting or vocal performance.
Even though many would say a degree in English is almost as useless, I
would have to argue otherwise. The acting business becomes more and
more competitive every day, and what sets me apart from many others is my
relentless desire to articulate my own experience. As a writer, I have a
heightened sense of power because for the most part, words on a page
cannot be refused or rejected because the writer isn’t blond or skinny. I am
shut out of thousands of performing job opportunities a day simply because
of my physical appearance, something that cannot be transformed by
“working hard.” Trust me, I’ve tried. Exercising cannot change your race!
So my advice is to find tangible skills that will enable you to support your
pursuit of acting for a very very long time.
But ultimately, have faith that you are answering a divine calling by being an
artist. And know that you are in control of what you choose to sacrifice for
this calling.
What’s next for you?
I’m about to make big changes to my online presence; a fellow LA actress,
Sarah Sido, taught me a lot about building websites, so I’m going to use
those skills to rebrand my personal page, as well as start a blog about
acting. Wow, now I’ve said it so I better do it!
FAVORITE ACTORS/ACTRESSES – I think my favorite male actor is Jim
Carrey. A lot of my earlier sketch comedy and improvisational work I did at
Walt Disney World was heavily influenced by him, and I have deep respect
for his significant capabilities as a dramatic actor. He is so interesting to
watch doing anything! Let’s say if, starting tomorrow, he stopped making
studio feature films and decided to just host a vegan cooking show on
HGTV, I would watch that.
For female actresses, I would rather be executed than name just one. Meryl
Streep seems to literally becomes other human beings, to the point where it
actually scares me. Meryl is a frightening example of sheer mastery of the
craft. I would like to see her play some kind of deep sea creature or
something, because that lady would seriously prepare for the role by eating
paramecium and withstanding 500 bars of atmospheric pressure. And that’s
entertainment, my friends.
I love Julianne Moore’s work, because I find that no matter who she plays,
her characterization is so detailed and complete that I feel like I actually
live out the movie in real time as her role. The performance is so intimate
and honest and infused with inner life that I feel like I AM her character.
Believe me, it takes skill to convince a short Asian girl that she is a white
1950’s housewife.
Adele has announced she is pregnant via her website. 
