Write Your Own Dating Rules by Jenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert

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relationshipsJenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert from eHarmony tells Frost Magazine readers to rip up the rule book.

Eighteen years ago the dating world was introduced to a book called ‘The Rules’ that we were meant to follow in order to guarantee a perfect love life. In those days, before online dating there were rules like: Don’t ask a man on a date! Don’t ask him to dance first! Don’t call him first! Don’t accept a date for Saturday if he asks you after Wednesday!

If you’ve found that ‘’not accepting a date for Saturday if they asked you after Wednesday’ worked for you, then I’m not going to tell you any different.  However as you’re here reading this in 2013, I suspect that you have realised that there is no magic secret; but I’m glad to say there is one tip that will help to bring you success or at the very least, remove some of the obstacles you may have stumbled over in the past.

Rules are like walls and sometimes walls need to be demolished to let the light in. Step outside your comfort zone and see what happens – be the dater you want to be not the one you’ve been told to be.

My one tip is this: Write your own rules! No one knows you better than you know yourself. You know what you’re capable of. You know what your parameters are. What you will be brave enough to do and what is going to be totally against your character, and you know what feels right.

I’m not going to tell you what not to do! You can figure that out yourself. I’ll just remind you of some things to do to help increase your chances of success when dating online.

1.    Reach out: If you see a profile that you like the look or sound of then make contact. There is no point spending weeks peeking at each other through cyberspace – say hello.

2.    Step outside your regular boundaries: Online dating is a golden opportunity to interact with people you might not originally have considered. Remember the first time against your better judgement you chose coconut ice cream and now it’s your favourite? That person who is a little older, a bit younger, that you’re attracted to but doesn’t match up to your usual ‘type’. That might just be The One.

3.    If you want to ask them out – just do it: Man or woman, we are in the 21st Century and we can do things that are new without the roof caving in. Traditionally men might have been the first to initiate a date, however things have evolved and it’s flattering to be asked out whatever your sex.

4. Be honest: Be yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Forget mind games, just be yourself and eventually you will find someone who is exactly the person you are looking for and you to them.

5. Learn to let go: We all have baggage, but when it comes to dating try and leave any hang ups at the door. Negative experiences in the past can affect the way you approach a new relationship, and although it’s good to be cautious, it’s also good to go in with a fresh new slate. Have fun and let your true self be at the forefront.

The Set Table: The Art of Small Gatherings

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the set table the art of small gatherings.

Some books are just beautiful and deserve to be endlessly browsed. The Set Table is such a book. It is a beautifully designed and full of endless domestic pleasures.

For those of us who are not domestic (me!) a guide on linen, cutlery and the art of small gatherings is a much needed and much appreciated thing. If you ever wanted to know how to buy or make linen this book tells you how. It also tells you how to get stains out and the different types of linen. Buying second hand crockery and types of crockery are also covered. Along with shapes and sizes. It also goes through different materials and tells you how to clean silver.

Hannah Shuckburgh is features editor of Conde Nast’s Easy Living magazine and you can tell. This is a classy book which will surely turn it’s readers into dinner party gods and goddesses. I loved the illustrations. The one on cutlery shapes will never have you confused about the difference between your bouillon and salt spoon again.

I also love the chapter on food. You can add lots to a meal with bread, water and sauces and this book really lets you know how.

An adorable, educational book. Brilliant illustrations and lots of useful information.

Simple and beautiful ideas for laying the table is the subject of The Set Table. From supper for two on a candlelit urban roof terrace to a picnic lunch for friends on the sitting-room carpet, the look is effortlessly artistic and uncomplicated, celebrating the intimate and unique experience of eating well. With ideas for every aspect of a well-set
table – from napkins to glassware, cutlery to lighting – Hannah Shuckburgh inspires you to make even the smallest of gatherings very special with modest resources.

Genius tips on how to unearth good crockery in junk shops; easy guides for simple but special things to make at home; ideas for styling supermarket flowers and recipes for delicious homemade condiments are accompanied by soulful photography by Charlotte Bland and illustrations by Lydia Starkey. The Set Table is about clearing away the clutter and complications of daily life creating a warm, welcoming setting for unforgettable meals with the people you love.

Hannah Shuckburgh is features editor of Conde Nast’s Easy Living magazine. She also has written for Vogue, The Times, The Independent and The Huffington Post.

The Set Table: The Art of Small Gatherings

Kallo Chocolate Rice Cake Thins | Snack Review & Competition

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Kallo Rice Cake ThinsI love Kallo rice cakes so when the chocolate rice cake thins came it perked up my day. I uploaded a picture to instagram, and my, what a reaction. Turns out I am the last of my friends to try them. My friend Steve McAleavy said, “The dark chocolate ones are FAB ! Gluten/Dairy/Wheat/Egg free ! Allergy Safe for most people – but most of all YUMMY ! There you go, I wrote your review for you.”

KJ Issacs said, “They taste great!!” and my friend, photographer Kezia Campbell, also noted that the dark chocolate ones are suitable for vegans.

But what did I think? Yum mostly. The come in milk chocolate and dark Belgian chocolate. They are super tasty, healthy and only 55 calories each. Though I never ate just one they were still diet friendly. They are also organic and wheat free with no gluten containing ingredients, artificial colours, flavours or preservatives.

I have been trying to be healthy lately but always end up caving and eating an unhealthy snack. The real reason Kallo Rice Cake Thins are great and have my full approval is because I will be buying them again. In bulk.

Tasty and healthy. What’s not to like? Read below for how to win some.

Boycott the Biscuit this summer with Kallo Chocolate Rice Cake Thins

We all know the snack temptation that hits mid-afternoon – lunch has come and gone, dinner is still hours away and it’s all too easy to reach for the biscuit jar to curb those cravings. This summer make better snacking choices and boycott the biscuit with Kallo’s Organic Belgian Milk and Dark Chocolate Rice Cake Thins, the perfect way to get your daily chocolate hit with fewer calories.

Nutritionist Jane Clarke says ‘regularly eating snacks, like biscuits, are responsible for thousands of empty calories being consumed by Brits every day. I’d recommend choosing wholegrain, slow release energy snacks when you’re truly hungry to help manage weight and maintain a healthier diet and productivity, without sugar slumps.’

Kallo’s Rice Cake Thins are made with the finest organic Belgian milk or plain chocolate and puffed brown rice. They are made to a wheat free recipe with no gluten containing ingredients, artificial colours, flavours or preservatives and at just 56 calories for the milk chocolate thins, and 55 calories for the dark chocolate, they won’t ruin the bikini diet either.

To help you stick to your healthy eating plans, Kallo has launched an online pledge where you can pledge to boycott the biscuit during June. Head to www.saykallo.com and pledge to swap your usual biscuits for Kallo’s Chocolate Rice Cake Thins for a healthier snacking month – what’s more, we’re giving away 2,500 packs of Milk Chocolate Rice Cake Thins to those of you who commit to ditch the biscuit. Happy snacking!

The Storm of Oklahoma by Tyler Shields

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Tyler Shields Drives From LA to Oklahoma to Shoot the Storm for the Red Cross
Tyler Shields said:

“Took a drive from Los Angeles to Moore Oklahoma and met some of the most incredible people I have ever met. Their spirit was so up lifting it really makes you realize the things you own do not own you, life is about living not about possessions I did not meet one person who complained only people happy to be alive. I met this women who told me the story of how her father build a storm shelter for her 30 years ago she never liked it and had never used it until this Tornado came she gathered her whole family into the small shelter and it saved all of their lives it was amazing to hear her tell the story about how she hated this thing and now the small slab of concrete will for ever be remembered at the savior of the family!

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I will be auctioning these photos and all the proceeds will be going to the families of Moore Oklahoma if you want to purchase a photo please email info@tylershields.com”

disaster_girl

Fatboy Slim Honoured at Sixth International Music Summit

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There was praise indeed for Norman Cook aka Fatboy Slim at the sixth annual International Music Summit, where he was honoured at the IMS Legends Dinner held in Ibiza’s prestigious Cipriani’s in association with Nokia Music.

 

The music industry united in support of Norman, with video messages from the likes of Iggy Pop, who stated he wished he was in Ibiza with Norman, Talking Heads main man David Byrne, DJs Carl Cox, Rob da Bank, Nervo and finally, Wire star and future Nelson Mandela actor Idris Elba, who is djing with Fatboy Slim tonight at the UNESCO heritage site Dalt Vila.

 

Fatboy Slim states: “”It was a real honour to be the recipient of the IMS Legends Award for 2013. To follow in the footsteps of Carl Cox and Pete Tong is a big statement, two of my favourite contemporaries in the DJ world. Pete and IMS put on a very special evening for me. All a bit overwhelming!””

 

Highlights included a version of ‘Praise You’ by Ibiza’s Ibiza Choral choir; a 20-piece group, which was arranged by Latin composer, Hector Ponce, who spearheaded this unique take on Norman’s biggest hit. Other special moments included a Christopher Walken imitator replicating the award-winning video of ‘Weapon of Choice’, with a dance that resulted in him jumping into Cipriani’s swimming pool. The event, hosted by Mike Cuban, also featured a Fatboy Slim medley by African act Da Banda – a troupe of Angolan dancers.

Ciprianai-chosens-5

The dinner, which is in its third year, was in association with Nokia Music, who also host the annual Roc Nation brunch at Soho House, West Hollywood on the Saturday before the Grammy Awards. Previous winners have included BBC Radio 1 legend Pete Tong, and DJ Carl Cox.

 

IMS partner Ben Turner states: “The dinner has become a major focus of IMS. Fatboy Slim has inspired an entire generation of DJs. He was one of the first DJs to ever truly have global chart success and the love for him in the room was pretty emotional.”

 

The dinner was also in support of The Hepatitis C Trust, culminating in a special auction, which featured works of art of Idris Elba and DJ Luciano by urban street artist Fin DAC who painted the pieces live at the IMS, to raise funds for increasing prevention, diagnosis and treatment of Hepatitis C in the UK.

These Shoes Aren’t Made For Walking: Why Are Shoes Made For Women So Painful?

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“That bone”, my doctor says, “That bone is just not supposed to be there.” “Oh”, I reply. This really cannot be good. I ask for clarification just to be sure, hoping that somehow I am hearing wrong, or it isn’t as bad as it sounds. “Do you mean the bone has moved from one part of my foot to the other?” “Yes” he replies. “If it gets worse we will have to operate.” I only have one more thought: f**k!

So it turns out that the shoes I have been wearing are too high, too small and too tight. In a way I know this is all my fault. I always go out shopping for sensible shoes that I can walk in but also look good. Yes every time I come back with a pair of shoes that can only be worn for a few hours at most. Some of them are more ornament than shoe.

It’s not a height thing. One of my biggest problems with fashion magazines are when women who are 5.5 complain about being short, saying they need heels for extra height. The average woman is 5.3. So if 5.3 is average, not short, then the fashion ideal of a woman being 5.10 is not only unrealistic, it is also taller than the average male of 5.9. In fact, the majority of women in the entire world are under 5.6. I am 5.5 and don’t need 4 inch heels to feel tall. I believe height is another thing that the media uses to make women feel bad about themselves, oh, and so they then buy 4 inch heels that are expensive and cripple their feet.

The faithful Clarks shoes. By the end of the day they hurt but they score points for being walkable, long-lasting and relatively comfortable.

The faithful Clarks shoes. By the end of the day they hurt but they score points for being wearable, long-lasting and relatively comfortable.

Upon hearing the news my fiance bans me from wearing heels but shortly relents under my withering look. I still love heels, some outfits need them and I want to, at least occasionally, party in heels. I promise to only wear them occasionally. The only problem is that I had no flat shoes apart from one pair of ballet shoes that were very tight at the front and were just too flat. I have a high arch and I need some support.

I decide to go shopping and my first purchase is a pair of Timbaland trainers. They cost £89 but I manage to get them for £55 at a Glamour Magazine shopping party. Bargain and they are very comfortable.

They are strictly daywear though, and cannot be worn to smart functions. So I still have the same problem. I buy some ankle boots from ASOS but they have some kind of default and cut into my leg, making it bleed, and also ruin some of my expensive tights. I end up mostly wearing a pair of Clarks ankle boot which I bought in 2008. They have a heel of a few inches and have only need resoled once. Score points for Clarks.

I keep looking for perfect shoes that are not too high or too tight. I just want gorgeous, wearable shoes but it just seems that womens shoes aren’t made for walking. Flat shoes hurt my feet and my shins, high heels hurt just as much. Every shoe I try on does not seem to have the wearer in mind. They are too fancy or the straps are badly placed. The heels are too skinny, the front too pointy and so obviously not made for toes. It is like some kind of Chinese foot binding. Mens shoes look good and are comfortable. Do you really think they would put up with this crap?

The limited edition Converse. Comfortable and fashionable.

The limited edition Converse. Comfortable and fashionable.

In the end I just relent and buy another pair of Converse. I had worn my last pair to death and had not replaced them. Instead of the ubiquitous black I buy a limited edition pair. As for a pair of actual comfortable shoes? My quest continues….

Financial matters upon divorce or dissolution of civil partnerships

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Hill Dickinson gives Frost Readers the low down on separating.

When the majority of married couples divorce it is likely that there will also be financial matters to deal with. This may include the family home, businesses, pensions or maintenance. The same circumstances will also apply to the dissolution of civil partnerships.

 

It is important that financial matters following a divorce or dissolution are finalised to ensure that you are protected against any future claims from your former husband or wife or civil partner.

 

Financial matters will be resolved when the parties receive a final order from the court. This does not mean that the parties will need to attend court; but legal advice should be sought to ensure that you are protected for the future.

 

If a final financial order is not received then there is a risk that your former husband, wife or civil partner could make a claim in the future.

 

It is important to note that the court will consider financial circumstances at the time they are resolved. Although in some cases the parties’ circumstances at the time of separation may be relevant.

 

The outcome of any court hearing or negotiation will depend massively upon the circumstances of the case. The court in England and Wales has very wide discretion to deal with matrimonial matters as they see fit.

 

There are circumstances where assets acquired during a marriage or civil partnership could be excluded from financial matters upon divorce. So it is imperative to seek advice upon separation.

 

In 2011 the High Court heard a case where they were asked to resolve financial matters following a divorce. The wife had won the lottery during the marriage. Part of the lottery winnings had been used to purchase the matrimonial home.

 

The court found that there is a sharp distinction between “matrimonial” and “non-matrimonial” property. As the lottery ticket had been purchased following separation, with the wife’s sole earnings and without her husband’s knowledge the court found that the lottery winnings were “non-matrimonial”.

 

However, the wife had used some of the lottery winnings to purchase the matrimonial home. The court held that the money spent on the house was converted into “matrimonial” property. The High Court ruled that matrimonial property is more likely to be shared, and consequently the husband was entitled to receive a proportion of the matrimonial home.
These sorts of cases are fact specific and it is for that reason that it is essential that separated couples seek advice as to the legal consequences of their separation.

 

If financial matters are resolved at the time of divorce, the majority of orders will include a clean break. This means that the agreement is in full and final settlement of any claims either party will have against the other in the future. A clean break may not be appropriate for example if monthly maintenance is being paid to a former spouse.

 

Mobile Etiquette

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The mobile phone can be our closest ally at times, helping us make our lives easier and our days more efficient, these obvious advantages do not come without their drawbacks – many of which highlight the negative impact they can have on our society.

Recent research has uncovered the surprising truth; that although the majority of the public believe that use of mobile phones in public places is a nuisance, there are still many individuals who cannot differentiate between appropriate and inappropriate use of their mobile phones, when it comes to when and where they should or should not use them.

Research found that funerals topped the list of the most unacceptable events at which to use a phone, ahead of driving, being at the cinema or during a wedding. Studies have brought to light the worrying evidence that 1 in 6 Britons has admitted to making or receiving a call, or texting or using social media when they should have been paying their last respects at a funeral service.

Mobile Phone Etiquette at Funerals

Mobile Phone Etiquette at Funerals [Infographic] by the team at Co-operative Funeralcare