Tag Archives: Relationships

Single Doctors Get Hearts Racing This Valentine’s Day

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  • Teachers and doctors among the top professions looking for love
  • Men begin their quest for love much sooner than women, as 32% more men in their 20s are looking for an online date than women

guardiansoulmates

Another year, another Valentine’s Day, and for singletons it can be a frustrating time. However, we have cause to be more positive this year as research from Guardian Soulmates today reveals that there are far more eligible single men and women than we may have expected. Ever wondered where all the doctors are? All the teachers? Mr/Mrs Right you expected to have married by now? Well they’re on your doorstep, and more importantly, they’re single!

From its dating database of over 200,000 singletons, Guardian Soulmates has found that there are more teachers and academics looking for love than any other profession, with media professionals and doctors coming in second and third respectively. And it’s not just doctors and teachers; those who own their own businesses are also up there with the UK’s most eligible singles, making up 5% of the sites daters.

Sectors with the most single men and women:

1. Education

2. Media

3. Health

4. Self-employed

5. Finance

6. Marketing / PR

7. Third sector

8. IT / telecoms

9. Government

 

Encouragingly our teachers and doctors don’t all fall into one group, and there are opportunities to meet your match regardless of age. Guardian Soulmates’ research shows that men and women in their 30s are the most prevalent daters; of those on the dating website 31% of men and 34% of women are in their 30s. There’s good news for those in their 20s too, particularly any young ladies who are apprehensive about getting online for a date before they turn 30, as 32% more men in their 20s are looking for an online date than women at the same age. Not only are men getting online early, they’re also continuing their quest for love in later life. The research also shows a trend that there are equal numbers of men and women in their 40s and 50s looking for love.

Age does, however, appear to define the type of date you may wish to go on this Valentine’s Day. The research reveals that there are trends in dating patterns across age groups, and even across regions. Those in their twenties are least likely to cook a romantic meal for two, whilst 79% of 30-something daters are cooking enthusiasts and would prefer a comfy night in. For those who believe the way to the heart is through the stomach, London and the North West are fertile dating grounds, as 67% of daters in London and 40% in the North West are cooking fans. Surprisingly, if you want to impress a lady you’re better off asking her out for a drink than a dinner date as 64% of single women enjoy a drink, versus just over half of single men (53%).

 

The Cost Of Love

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We love this infograph about love from prezzybox.com Check it out.

thecostoflove

Managing MIL: You And Your Mother-in-Law – For Better, Or For Worse? Book Review

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mother-in-law- advice-bookThis book starts off with a joke: “My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked.” Les Dawson, this joke highlights that, traditionally, it is men that have problems with their mother-in-law. However there has been a rise in women clashing with theirs, and a number of my friends like to have a moan about their husbands mother. Marriage is hard, but even harder when there are three people in it.

Some of the real-life stories in this book are horrendous and shocking, and a few are nice. In fact the real-life stories are what I like most about the book. Learning about other peoples experience always make you feel less alone and helps to get through a rough spot. The best way to learn is from other people.

The book has rules and even suggests you start your own DIL (daughter-in-law) Club to unlock the secrets of a good mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Where you get a group of like-minded women together and all vent anger, or share experiences: good and bad.

This is a good book. A lot of the advice is common sense: be polite, decorum goes a long way, see things her way. The book is also intelligent enough to see things from the mother-in-laws view; sometimes she cannot do anything right. All in all I thought the book was great. There is also top advice from leading relationship experts.

The top tips for managing your mother-in-law are good and this is a helpful book. It takes the view of both the daughter-in-law and the mother-in-law to make it fair. Full of good advice and highly recommended.

Managing MIL: You and your Mother-in-Law – for better, or for worse? will be released by Peridot Press. You can buy it in e-book form or as a proper book.

Does your mother-in-law drive you to distraction? Are you a desperate daughter-in-law? Who is to blame? It’s hard to know when you’re stuck on the inside.

Journalist Katy Rink looks at the best and worst of this frequently tricky relationship and provides smart advice for keeping your cool, your sanity and your family intact.

How do you survive a weekend with the in-laws? Should you ever go on holiday together? How do you manage a new baby and MIL? What are the dangers of accepting that friend request on Facebook? These are just some of the tricky topics tackled.

The author calls upon the experiences of fellow daughters-in-law in her home town – at secretive get-togethers that came to be known as DIL Club – to illustrate the highs and lows of dealing with his mother.

There are plenty of anecdotes to amuse and entertain, including the DILs who received engine oil, chin hair removal cream and paper knickers as Christmas presents from their MILs; the MIL who provided itemised receipts for ice creams and charged for petrol; and the MIL who greeted news of a pregnancy with “I can’t believe you haven’t had her sterilised yet”.

You can also try and recognise your MIL from a cast of hilarious caricatures including The Apologist, The Snob, The Manipulator and The Social Climber.

But amid the horror stories there are heart-warming tales of when (and how) it all goes right, and when peace breaks out.

 

Doctors And Nurses Most Fanciable Workers In Britain

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Doctor most fanciableThe NHS may have its troubles but its caring staff are the most fanciable workers in Britain, new figures revealed last night.
Doctors are the most dateable men in any uniformed profession while nurses remain the number one choice for the nation’s men. And it is their caring qualities and ’empathy’ that make them more appealing to singles looking for love than soldiers, sailors, police officers, firefighters and others.
The poll of more than 1,500 adults by matchmaking website Uniformdating.com included both those who wear a uniform to work and those who don’t. Asked which man or woman in uniform they would most like as a partner, 29 per cent of women went for a doctor followed by 12 per cent who went for a firefighter and the same who said a member of the armed forces.
Among men, 26 per cent chose nurse but a further 17 per cent said doctor, suggesting some of the old Carry On stereotypes are being reversed. Asked why a health expert appealed so much, both men and women said it was their role to care and empathise with their patients that were their most attractive qualities.
Doctors are also seen as intelligent – though many women admitted a decent pay packet also helped! And one in four of the female nurses polled in the survey said they still thought their uniform meant men did not take them seriously.
Women still lust after hunky firemen, brave policemen and dashing pilots as well as fiery chefs and men admit they fancy female members of the armed forces, flight attendants and policewomen.
Police officers are seen as loyal, reliable and honest in their work which would be attractive qualities in a relationship.
But there were few votes for postmen and women in the survey, attracting just one per cent of the male vote and two per cent of the female vote.
And many said they were turned off having a member of the armed services as a partner because of the long periods spent away from home.

 

Chelsea Named as Britain’s No 1 Mistress Hotspot

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If you are a newly wed then don’t move to Chelsea, it is where single women prowl for married men to have affairs with.

And ‘staid’ Tunbridge Wells comes second

Chelsea is the no 1 hotspot for single women seeking affairs with married men, according to new research from AshleyMadison.com.  The world’s leading dating site for extra-marital affairs has found that 43.96% of its women members who are seeking affairs with married men in Chelsea are actually single.

UK.mistress.hotspots

Noel Biderman, AshleyMadison.com founder and CEO says: “Chelsea is part of London’s richest borough and home to some of the capital’s wealthiest men. Single women are drawn to status, to men who have made something of themselves, even if that includes having a wife and family. As Oscar Wilde said and James Goldsmith famously paraphrased, “When a man marries his mistress he creates a vacancy.” It’s no accident that so many mistresses live in Chelsea and our female members such as Lady Catherine and Rosetti Lover are looking for their own Jimmy Goldsmith.’

At Mistress Hotspot no 2, Tunbridge Wells has a more conservative image with its prep schools, Georgian architecture and spa heritage. Yet 42.04% of the women there are single and actively seeking an affair with a married man.

Noel Biderman says: ‘Does ‘Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells’ have an alter ego as Ashley Madison’s HardAsRock or RugbyJunky? There are a lot of well heeled, successful men there, however staid they may or may not be. A Tunbridge Wells man obviously holds promise as a lover, even if he is married.’

St Albans is 3rd on the list for would-be mistresses and Loughborough comes 4th.

With Oxford bottom of the list, it seems that while the single women of the city are inclined to stick to their studies, the academic world is not immune to passion.

Mistress Hotspots: % of female members who are single:

Chelsea, London          42.04%

Tunbridge Wells           42.04%

St Albans                      41.01%

Loughborough              39.17%

Dartford                        38.91%

Hemel Hempstead       38.36%

Chester                         36.94%

Newcastle upon Tyne  36.55%

Bristol                           35.70%

Oxford                          35.45%

Are you going to avoid these areas?

Is Getting Married An Achievement? | Weddings

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wedding diary, engagement, engagement ring, getting married, planning a wedding, marriage, engagement,I feel I am about to kick up a feminist hornet’s nest. Or maybe just a hornet’s nest generally. As marriage is now far from being the done thing it has become something else: controversial. Marriage used to be common, most people did it and to not be married was frowned upon. The face of marriage has changed and it may have taken until 2013 for same-sex marriage to be legal in Britain, but finally it is. (For same-sex couples marriage really is an achievement)

But let’s get back to the case in point. Is getting married an achievement? It is certainly one of life’s milestones. A marker for growing up and going into the next stage of your life.  In the current issue of Red Magazine (November 2013) writer Emma Barnett wrote in an article titled, ‘Who’s Afraid Of The F-Word’, that at a mentoring morning at The London Eye she was asked to say something cool about herself. She spotted her soon-to-be wedding venue and said,”I’m getting married in that building next month.” Glowering from a fellow mentor ensued and she reprimanded Barnett for using ‘getting married’ as an inspirational thing for young women. “How was that a good example?” the woman hissed. I am with Emma Barnett on this. Some lightheartedness is needed. It is completely okay, and completely feminist to personally think that getting married is inspirational.

At an event recently I was in a circle with lots of other women. We all had to list our achievements and say what we wanted in the future. Most of the women wanted to be married with kids and have their own business. So maybe this is a gender thing. Women still want to have it all.

Let’s use work as a metaphor: you go on dates (job interviews) and meet people. After the preliminary stage you start to date (the trial basis) then you become girlfriend and boyfriend. If both are compatible and work well together they become a partnership (marriage). If marriage isn’t an achievement, then finding someone to marry certainly is. After all; the dating industry is worth over £2 billion.

During the hype of The Royal Wedding it is fair to say that I, along with my female friends, were looking at how happy Kate Middleton looked and wondering when our boyfriends would propose. After all Kate had waited years for William to propose, gaining the nickname ‘Waity Katy’ by the press during that time. Everyone felt sorry for this long-suffering royal girlfriend. But didn’t she have the last laugh? Beaming in the engagement photo, you can’t say she did not have a look of achievement on her face, and a wedding watched by billions of people which cost millions. (Taxpayers millions but that’s another matter) It is fair to say that 2011 was the year that women stated to rethink marriage. Almost as a lifestyle aspiration. Or at least their feet dragging boyfriends. Who wants to be someone’s girlfriend when you can be their wife? Quite a few people I am sure, but no female I actually know. To be fair to my now fiancee, in 2011 we had only been dating for a year.

For the cynical and anti-marriage of you I will make it easier to not to get annoyed. After all of the bad dates, dodging of wandering hands, tears over inappropriate men (or women. Whichever is your ticket) what I will say is that finding someone to love and who loves you back is an achievement, and finding the love of your life even more so. Which brings me on to my main point: When I asked my friends whether marriage was an achievement this is what they had to say:

Paul Harrison Dakers; Staying married is an achievement – getting married is easy . . . . .

John Nelson; Depends on how smooth, fun and enjoyable the experience of the wedding vs. going through the ritual and the costs creating stress. Also, I would argue that the getting married part is much easier than keeping the marriage healthy and happy ’till death do you part. Now THAT is the challenge

Shimelle Laine ‏@glittershim: @Balavage my biggest wonder about it all has been that I spent 28 years of my life thinking I would never want to marry. Never say never! I love being married but can’t think that *getting* married is the achievement. Staying happy forever, perhaps that.

‏@threestain @Balavage: it is an achievement to get through the planning. And a blessed relief to be married. And fun :)

So it would seem that finding The One is an achievement and staying married is an achievement and so is planning and getting through the actual wedding. But just getting married is just getting married.

Personally, to me getting married is an achievement. I never thought I would find The One. I never used to even want to get married, too much of a career girl. But I am now older and wiser. I know that you can have a career and a personal life, and more importantly, I know that the latter is much more important than the former; while women thought for years to have our place in the workforce, this doesn’t mean we have to forsake everything else and see marriage and babies as old fashioned things our mothers did. A career will never keep you warm at night. But this is just my opinion. Everyone is different. For me marriage is like sex: you don’t want to do it just for the sake of it, only with the right person at the right time.

What do you think?

If you are getting married then check out my wedding planning book. It tells you all you need to know about planning weddings.

 

Why do women cheat? Not enough sex, say 79.2% of survey

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•             25-34 year old women most likely to seek an affair outside marriage

•             1-3 months is the typical life cycle of an affair for 60.3% of AshleyMadison.com membersCitiz Hotel

•             76.9% of unfaithful women still love their husband or long term partner

A new survey of unfaithful British women from AshleyMadison.com, the world’s leading site for extramarital affairs, shows that for 79.2% the over-riding reason for cheating on husbands or partners is an unfulfilled sex life.

The survey of 10,245 UK women members of the website provides a snapshot of the changing face of infidelity in this country. Globally, female infidelity is on the rise and the UK is no exception.

Noel Biderman, founder and CEO of AshleyMadison.com says: “While women are gaining power in the work-place they’re no longer prepared to accept a disappointing performance from their man in the bedroom. Many work long hours, they juggle family and professional responsibilities and find that a busy lifestyle can be both an excuse and a cover for cyber affairs and physical affairs.”

The most common age group amongst unfaithful women is 25-34 year olds (35.1%), but the 35-44 year old age bracket is not far behind at 30.4%.

“Attitudes to infidelity amongst women are changing fast,’ adds Biderman. “The taboo is disappearing, it’s no longer a male preserve. With smartphones and access to the Internet 24/7, women have the tools to seek out and conduct discreet affairs that leave no ‘digital lipstick’ in the way that Facebook does. It’s as safe and easy as ordering a take-away!”

Unfaithful women seem to mirror cheating men who traditionally claim they still love their wives: 76.9% of Ashley Madison’s cheating women say they still love their husband or long term partner and an overwhelming 95.1% say they are not in love with their affair partner. In line with this, only 11.6% say they would like to leave their husband or partner

However, it seems that the one nightstand is still male territory, as an affair of one-three months is typical for 60.3% of the women surveyed and only 19.6% say they are looking for a one-night stand.

Noel Biderman comments: “Women tend to like a degree of stability; genetically they’re not wired for one-night stands. But women are good at multi-tasking so there’s no problem having an affair partner as well as a husband. 69% of the women we surveyed have only had one or two affairs.”

 

Do you agree?

The Etiquette of Online Dating

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Online dating has been described before as going into a bar where you know every person
in there wants to meet someone. However, this is no ordinary bar scene where you can rely
on a bit of Dutch courage to strike up a conversation. There are some big differences in this
digital world, and a dating website etiquette should be followed when looking for love
online. However, not all of us know what this is.

finding love, dating, online dating, advice, guide, social media

In this relatively new social medium, Sean Wood, Communications Director at Cupid Plc,
talks us through the dos and don’ts of dating online. From choosing the right website to
picking a great place for your first date. Sean’s insider knowledge can guide you through the
journey to meeting your perfect partner online.

You have made the decision to join a dating website, how do you go about choosing the
right one? What should you look out for?

Online dating is now more and more popular and as a result of this the number of dating
websites on offer is constantly growing. Before you make any decisions, consider what it is
you want to get from your online dating experience, and what kind of person you are
looking for – this will narrow the choices and make your decision easier. For example, if you
are looking for love following a separation and want to find a mature partner,
MatureDatingUk.com might be the best choice for you. If you work in uniform and work
unsociable hours, you may be looking for someone in the same position, and so a site such
as UniformDating.com would be perfect for you. Most dating websites give users a choice
between a free account and a full subscription. This allows you to browse the singles
database and check out the functions of the site, before making the decision to move to a
full subscription. Wherever possible, try to get a trial run before subscribing to a dating site,
to make sure it is most suited to your needs before you spend money on it.

1) What is the best type of picture to post on your profile?

Choosing the right profile picture is very important. You should use a picture you are happy
with, but which is also a true likeness of you – altering your image in Photoshop may
improve your appearance but this will cause problems when your date doesn’t recognise
you and walks straight past you on your first date! On the other hand, it’s perfectly fine to
post what you consider as your best photos, and so posting your passport photo may be
taking it too far! Try to choose a picture that stands out from the crowd, one that catches
the eye of other members and leaves them wanting to find out more about you. Be sure to
choose a photo that looks natural and real whilst still engaging. You can usually change your
profile picture whenever you like, so feel free to play around with your snap until you find
one that gets the most interest from other users. One final note is to avoid including images
of beautiful sunsets and landscapes which you like. Although the views might be stunning,
users want to know about you first and foremost.

2) How do I start writing my profile? What are the main points to include about myself?

Your profile is designed to tell other members all about you, this includes basic personal
information such as your first name and age, as well as details about your interests and
hobbies, likes and dislikes, personality and traits. If you are suffering from writer’s block,
maybe bullet point all of the important information that you wish to share, briefly give an
overview of what you are like and leave the reader wanting to know more about you.
Always be honest in your profile, relationships that start from dishonesty rarely work,
furthermore, you want to find someone who likes you just the way you are! You can include
in your profile a summary of what it is you are looking to achieve from your online dating
experience, i.e. are you looking for friendship, love/romance, marriage etc? Stating this in
your profile will help you to find someone who is looking for the same things you are.

3) What safety features should I look out for when I am joining a dating website?

Before deciding to sign up to a dating site one thing you should pay attention to is the safety
features of the site itself. In order to date safely you will need to sign up to a dating site that
speaks openly about how to stay safe when chatting over the internet, and offers guidelines
on details which you should and shouldn’t share. Furthermore, you should use a dating site
that has invested time and money into developing safety features designed to better
protect you, the user. At Cupid.com we have developed a new safety feature called Safe
Mode. This function allows men to change their profiles so that they can only be contacted
by members who have been verified and who are looking for love – the verification process
is simple – it can be done over the phone and takes only a minute or two. The Safe Mode
function is unique from other safety functions of other dating sites as it acts as a shield,
blocking members from people who haven’t verified their identity and aren’t actually
interested in dating. To add to this, our site moderator continually posts messages in the
public areas of the site, explaining to users the importance of staying safe online and things
that you can do to keep yourself safe.

4) I have the perfect profile set up, now what do I do?!

Now your perfect profile is completed you’re ready to start meeting people! There are a
number of ways in which you can do this. Cupid.com has placed a great deal of emphasis on
developing functions and tools that enable effective communication between members and
we encourage you to utilise these as much as possible. The most common way people start
to meet other members is by searching through the database of single people and
messaging anyone that catches their eye… when you send messages to other members try
to make the messages personal to each individual member, avoid generic sounding
messages as these are much less likely to get a response. A more immediate way to start
conversation is through our free online chat rooms, in which you can start talking to other
members who are online immediately. When you have started to get to know another
member and decide you’d like to get to know them on a more personal level, you can start a
private chat with them.

Before you start chatting with someone, have a look at their profile and see whether they
would actually be a good match for you, for example, are they looking for the same things
as you are? Do they live in your area? Do they have similar interests to you? When you
start initializing a conversation with another member, ask questions about them and listen
to their response, ensure the conversation is two way and you are both engaging in it.

5) How long do you recommend talking to someone online before organising to meet
them in person?

How long you should speak to someone for before meeting them really depends on you, the
person you are talking to and how comfortable you feel with them. At Cupid.com, safety is
essential, so we would suggest waiting until you actually know a person before you meet
them. The usual process would be to start chatting online for a while, and then move to
other forms of communication, such as speaking over the phone. If you are ever unsure as
to whether you should meet someone we would recommend you don’t, never allow
yourself to feel pressurised into meeting someone before you’re ready, and you should
always be sure that it is something you want to do before agreeing to meet anyone.

6) When organising when and where to meet, what should I keep in mind?

When you do finally make the decision to meet up with another member, choose to meet
up in a public place, somewhere that has an atmosphere you can both enjoy, that will allow
you to chat freely and get to know each other even better. When you initially plan your first
date, it is a good idea to plan something short, so if you or your date knows there and then
that it isn’t going to work, you can walk away with no bad feelings. If the short first date
goes well, you can always extend your plans by going for a meal or something afterwards, or
arrange a second date for in a few days.

7) Do you have any do’s and don’ts for conversation on the first date?

The whole point of the first date is to get to know the person you have met up with, so the
best advice we can give you is to appear interested in your date, ask questions and follow
these up with further (related) questions, to show you have maintained an interest in what
they have to say. Answer questions about yourself as honestly as you possibly can, and
answer the question that was asked of you, avoid going off on a tangent or over sharing
information too soon. Be yourself as much as possible, if you are fake in any way it will likely
get noticed and may even put your date off you.

What’s your opinion on online dating? Have you found someone online?