Tag Archives: Relationships

5 First Date Fashion Tips For Men By Brett Harding

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BELVEDERE Vodka 'Walks Its Way' Into Cannes With Reverend Run And DJ RuckusA first date can be a difficult experience if you don’t know what’s in store for you; a first date can be made even worse if you’re spending the majority of your date concerned with your choice of outfit rather than listening to your date.  To prevent a wardrobe disaster and to create a fashion wonder, follow these simple tips.

 

1. Shopping Alone

The very first fashion rule for any man should be not to shop alone, take a friend, a sister, a mom, a cousin, even your neighbour; just don’t go it alone. If you’re unsure of the current trends, the colours that best suit you or if you don’t know the difference between chinos and trousers, you aren’t capable of shopping alone.

 

The majority of shop assistants and sales consultants work on a commission basis, this means that you could be as poorly as Jared Leto, and still the assistants will tell you that you look incredible. By taking a friend you eliminate the risk of buying clothes that don’t suit you; request their honest opinion and let them guide your tastes.

 

2. Does it Fit?

The majority of men make the same fatal mistake – just because you can get into that old pair of jeans or your dad’s jumper; doesn’t mean it fits and that you should wear it. Where a first date is concerned you should wear clothing that reveals your figure without being too tight, on the other hand keep in mind that baggy clothing is a no.

By wearing baggy clothing you’re effectively stating that you don’t care about your appearance and therefore you have a poor attitude – this isn’t the impression that you want to give!

 

3. Sneakers and Shoes

It would be considered wise of you to invest in a decent, stylish pair of shoes, and when I say shoes, I mean shoes not sneakers, sandals or slippers. It’s well known that women love shoes, because of this it’s incredibly likely that they are going to take into account the shoes that you are wearing and part of the first impression will be judged upon your choice of footwear. Shoes should be fairly formal but not so formal that they couldn’t be worn with your best pair of dark jeans.

 

4. Jeans, Joggers or Shorts?

Before you can decide what you’re going to wear on your bottom half you need to know the setting of your first date. If the date is casual, such as a walk in the park or lunch at a café there should be no problem with you wearing something casual such as shorts.

If you’re going for drinks, a meal or to the movies you should take a little care with your outfit and consider wearing your smartest jeans. At no point should formal trousers or tracksuit bottoms cross your mind, tracksuit bottoms are for lazy days and DIY, whereas formal trousers should be saved for weddings and other formal events.

 

5. Carry Your Confidence

I recommend that you carry something on your person that will inspire confidence; this could be something as simple as a lucky charm in the form of a watch or your favourite belt. You could aim to wear something that has a story to it as then it can be talked about to fill awkward silences.

 

However, as lucky as your favourite charm may be, it should match with your outfit, if you’re wearing your best shoes and smartest jeans a vibrant belt isn’t appropriate and may alter the impression that you are trying to give on your first date.

 

There are many other aspects of your outfit that you should take into consideration when going on a first date, if you’re struggling for inspiration or are stuck for what to wear there are plenty of guides online and your local shopping mall will be filled with mannequins that are draped in the latest threads.

 

 

Author: Brett Harding is the managing director for Lovestruck, an online dating website. Brett understand that first dates and even second dates can be stressful experiences; because of this Brett spends a lot of his time giving advice and writing guides on the best ways to achieve a successful date.

Should You Get Married In Your Twenties?

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In the past few decades relationships have changed. While my parents generation tended to get married young and have kids. These days people are told to focus on their career and live their life first. My mother was married with three kids by the time she was twenty-three. I was acutely aware of this from the moment I got past twenty-three. Not because I thought I should be in the same situation, just because finding The One and possibly having children with them is a big part of life. In the 1980s women got married at twenty-six. Now the average is thirty-three.

I was twenty when I first moved to London. I knew no one, had no job to go to, no place to live and no family anywhere near the city. It was a brave move that has paid off. But the entire time there was something missing: someone to share my life with. I had a series of first dates with unsuitable men, and the occasional second. I managed to fit in one unsuitable non-serious boyfriend before meeting my fiancé. Fiancé? Yes, you read that right. I am getting married in my twenties. My fiancé is also in his twenties and it was our third anniversary when he whisked me off to Paris and proposed. When we get married next year we will both be in our late twenties.

Too much too soon? No, I don’t think so. Who knows when you should get married. I am sure there will be people who say I am missing out on things but I don’t agree. Let’s run though them.

Sex: erm, I can do that with my fiancée. Sex with random men has never interested me.
Career: No one is more supportive of my career than my fiancée. He drives me and supports me. My career is better with him in my life, not worse.
Putting myself first: It is overrated. The day you realise the importance of putting other people first your life improves considerably. That being said; we don’t hold each other back. If you love each other you will always make it work. I am doing some travel writing next week, going to France on my own to write a piece on Toulouse.
Finding Myself: Already done. I know who I am and what I want. I am completely secure in myself
Social life: I still go out both with and without my fiancée. We have a great social life.
We both still have good friends outside of our relationship that we see as regularly as we can.

What else is there? To be honest I cannot think of anything bad about getting married in my twenties. The fact that I have found the love of my life also means I can tick off a major life event. I am secure, I am happy and I am in love. What could be better than that?

What do you think? When do you think is the right time to get married?

Chore-dodgers given anonymity: Bring harmony to the home with new ‘covert cleaner’ service

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If you and your other half argue about cleaning then Frost magazine has come across something we think is quite cool: covert cleaning.
A recent survey found that 46% of couples that live together argue about cleaning; with nearly 2/3 of all individuals surveyed saying their partner’s cleaning abilities were below average – something start-up service Teddle has turned into a marketing opportunity by creating a new ‘secret service’ that disguises the fact a cleaner has been paid to complete household chores. You can even personalise the clean by adding in your bad habits for them to echo, such as to ‘leave the toilet seat up’ or ‘forget to remove the hairs from the sink’.
Those with an aversion to household chores have today been given a fresh escape from nagging partners by pioneering web service Teddle, which has launched the first ever ‘covert cleaner’ service to clean up conflict over housework. The award-winning start-up, which helps people search for, compare and book trusted cleaners in seconds, is testing the ‘cheeky’ service to prevent arguments in the home by allowing customers to dupe their partners into thinking they have completed the chores personally.

Alex Depledge, co-founder of Teddle commented:

“We have seen a big demand to ‘cover up’ our service and allow users to secretly book a cleaner without detection from partners, housemates and even mothers. We’re here to make life easier, so we thought why not make it easy for people to remove hassle from their lives without any consequences?”

“You always design the clean you want during booking, but now you can make the job seem more authentic by using the Teddle platform to request the cleaner misses out certain elements that make it more believable you completed the work.  The feedback we’ve had is that you can’t have it too perfect, or no one would believe it was you.”

Write Your Own Dating Rules by Jenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert

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relationshipsJenni Trent-Hughes, the relationship expert from eHarmony tells Frost Magazine readers to rip up the rule book.

Eighteen years ago the dating world was introduced to a book called ‘The Rules’ that we were meant to follow in order to guarantee a perfect love life. In those days, before online dating there were rules like: Don’t ask a man on a date! Don’t ask him to dance first! Don’t call him first! Don’t accept a date for Saturday if he asks you after Wednesday!

If you’ve found that ‘’not accepting a date for Saturday if they asked you after Wednesday’ worked for you, then I’m not going to tell you any different.  However as you’re here reading this in 2013, I suspect that you have realised that there is no magic secret; but I’m glad to say there is one tip that will help to bring you success or at the very least, remove some of the obstacles you may have stumbled over in the past.

Rules are like walls and sometimes walls need to be demolished to let the light in. Step outside your comfort zone and see what happens – be the dater you want to be not the one you’ve been told to be.

My one tip is this: Write your own rules! No one knows you better than you know yourself. You know what you’re capable of. You know what your parameters are. What you will be brave enough to do and what is going to be totally against your character, and you know what feels right.

I’m not going to tell you what not to do! You can figure that out yourself. I’ll just remind you of some things to do to help increase your chances of success when dating online.

1.    Reach out: If you see a profile that you like the look or sound of then make contact. There is no point spending weeks peeking at each other through cyberspace – say hello.

2.    Step outside your regular boundaries: Online dating is a golden opportunity to interact with people you might not originally have considered. Remember the first time against your better judgement you chose coconut ice cream and now it’s your favourite? That person who is a little older, a bit younger, that you’re attracted to but doesn’t match up to your usual ‘type’. That might just be The One.

3.    If you want to ask them out – just do it: Man or woman, we are in the 21st Century and we can do things that are new without the roof caving in. Traditionally men might have been the first to initiate a date, however things have evolved and it’s flattering to be asked out whatever your sex.

4. Be honest: Be yourself. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Forget mind games, just be yourself and eventually you will find someone who is exactly the person you are looking for and you to them.

5. Learn to let go: We all have baggage, but when it comes to dating try and leave any hang ups at the door. Negative experiences in the past can affect the way you approach a new relationship, and although it’s good to be cautious, it’s also good to go in with a fresh new slate. Have fun and let your true self be at the forefront.

Financial matters upon divorce or dissolution of civil partnerships

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Hill Dickinson gives Frost Readers the low down on separating.

When the majority of married couples divorce it is likely that there will also be financial matters to deal with. This may include the family home, businesses, pensions or maintenance. The same circumstances will also apply to the dissolution of civil partnerships.

 

It is important that financial matters following a divorce or dissolution are finalised to ensure that you are protected against any future claims from your former husband or wife or civil partner.

 

Financial matters will be resolved when the parties receive a final order from the court. This does not mean that the parties will need to attend court; but legal advice should be sought to ensure that you are protected for the future.

 

If a final financial order is not received then there is a risk that your former husband, wife or civil partner could make a claim in the future.

 

It is important to note that the court will consider financial circumstances at the time they are resolved. Although in some cases the parties’ circumstances at the time of separation may be relevant.

 

The outcome of any court hearing or negotiation will depend massively upon the circumstances of the case. The court in England and Wales has very wide discretion to deal with matrimonial matters as they see fit.

 

There are circumstances where assets acquired during a marriage or civil partnership could be excluded from financial matters upon divorce. So it is imperative to seek advice upon separation.

 

In 2011 the High Court heard a case where they were asked to resolve financial matters following a divorce. The wife had won the lottery during the marriage. Part of the lottery winnings had been used to purchase the matrimonial home.

 

The court found that there is a sharp distinction between “matrimonial” and “non-matrimonial” property. As the lottery ticket had been purchased following separation, with the wife’s sole earnings and without her husband’s knowledge the court found that the lottery winnings were “non-matrimonial”.

 

However, the wife had used some of the lottery winnings to purchase the matrimonial home. The court held that the money spent on the house was converted into “matrimonial” property. The High Court ruled that matrimonial property is more likely to be shared, and consequently the husband was entitled to receive a proportion of the matrimonial home.
These sorts of cases are fact specific and it is for that reason that it is essential that separated couples seek advice as to the legal consequences of their separation.

 

If financial matters are resolved at the time of divorce, the majority of orders will include a clean break. This means that the agreement is in full and final settlement of any claims either party will have against the other in the future. A clean break may not be appropriate for example if monthly maintenance is being paid to a former spouse.

 

It’s not just men! Unfaithful women close the infidelity gap

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  • Every 80 seconds a British woman joins AshleyMadison.com, the married dating site with 774,00 UK members and 18 million worldwide
  • 73.1% of unfaithful women feel neglected by their husbands
  • An affair makes it easier to stay in marriage say 57%
  • Better sex with husbands since having an affair for 32%

Infidelity has traditionally been male territory, but according to new statistics from Ashley Madison.com, women are currently signing up to UK site at a rate of one every 80 seconds.

The site’s founder, ‘King of Infidelity’ and ex-sports attorney Noel Biderman, says: ‘Given that a new AshleyMadison.com member of either sex joins the site every 45 seconds in Britian and that globally only a third of our members are women, this figure is far higher than we would expect. The only other country where we are seeing this pattern is Australia.’

In a new AshleyMadison.com survey of actively unfaithful women in Britain, 57% said that having an affair makes it easier for them to stay in their marriage and 32% reported better sex lives with their husbands since their affair.

Cheating women comparison . what a cheater looks like. Feeling neglected by their husbands and not having their emotional needs met was the most common motivation for women being unfaithful (73.1%).

‘This is no surprise,’ says Noel Biderman. ‘Many women lack attention and affection and it’s miserable to feel lonely within your own marriage. The reality is that many people can’t leave their partners for financial reasons and women in particular are usually reluctant to sacrifice their family life. So they are taking care of their needs outside marriage in the same way that men always have. They’re stepping into the male arena when it comes to infidelity.’

For 67.2%, an unfulfilled sex life was the reason for cheating. ‘Men typically reach their sexual peak in their 20s, for women it’s later, in their 30s or 40s when they feel more comfortable with their bodies. This discrepancy is one reason for the lack of sex that these women are feeling. Everyone wants to be desired, who can blame these women for looking elsewhere?’

64% of the women were educated to degree level with the majority working in admin (PAs and receptionists) or the health sector, including nurses.

 

The Five Worst Things A Woman Can Do

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GillianPublicityShotPeople can be their own worst enemies sometimes, and women are no exception. In fact, I believe women can be very hard on themselves. So I have made a list of the top five worst things a woman can do to damage her life.

Settling Down With Someone You Do Not Love.

The biological clock is probably the worst thing that ever happened to a woman. It can make us go a bit crazy. A male friend once described woman in their mid-thirties as ‘terrified and terrifying’. Quite unfair and he was about the same age himself. Worst than that, it can make some woman settle for a man they do not love so they can get married and have children. I completely understand this, I really do. Even in 2013 there is a ‘status’ thing between married and unmarried woman, and there certainly is one between the childless and those with children.

The media is full of stories about leaving it too late and this can cloud a woman’s judgement. But deep down, you always know whether or not you love someone. Relationships are hard enough if you do love someone. A relationship chosen because of your biological clock fears will never be a happy one, nor last.

It can also be hard to end a relationship with someone you do not love anymore. The fear of being single is a very real one for a lot of people, but it is only fair on you and the person you are dating. You will both find partners that you are meant to be with.

I came across this amazing quote from Kelly Brook in Easy Living magazine: “I’m not scared to walk away when things aren’t working. I’m not scared of being single, of not having kids. What I am scared of is being stuck in something negative. That is what I am most proud of: having the confidence to know I deserve everything.”

Starve Herself

The pressure to be thin can be tremendous. This pressure comes from the media and other women. It rarely comes from men. If a man loves you he won’t mind if you pack on a couple of pounds.

When I was in drama school I heard stories of women eating cotton balls soaked in orange juice to stay thin. The very idea of it is insane. If you starve yourself your body will not get any nutrients. You will damage your fertility, your health and your hair will fall out. I have heard way too much about starvation diets, that is not a diet, it is anorexia. Let’s stop it now.

Another thing: The whole Curvy versus Skinny thing is a war that should never be waged. Different people are supposed to be different sizes. Diversity is beautiful.

Let a Man Pay For Everything

There is nothing wrong with the man paying for the first date in my opinion. Especially as the women has already probably spent a fortune on a new dress and beauty treatments. However, letting a man pay for everything gives him the control in the relationship. It also makes it harder to walk away if the relationships stops working and you are not financially stable. A woman should always have a means of making money. If not, she has no control of her own future. Virginia Woolf has a famous quote that ‘A woman must have money and a room of her own’. I could not put it better myself.


Judge Another Woman’s Choices.

Woman can be really hard on each other. The truth is that sometimes when we judge it is actually a mixture of envy and admiration. Life does not give everything to one person. When you make a choice another option ends. The grass can seem greener on the other side. When women judge each other it holds us all back. It is time to live and let live.

 

Take Her Foot Off The Pedal

Another thing that some woman do is slowing down or quitting, even before they realise they have done so. When you start to think about children you can take your foot off the gas pedal. This can manifest in not applying for promotions, not going after something with a passion or not following a dream. The expectation of getting pregnant can stop you in your tracks, but do not let it. You never know what will happen in life and maybe you will not want to be a stay-at-home mum. Stay passionate and go after what you want.

What do you think women do to sabotage themselves?

Call Off The Search by Anna and Andrew Wallas Book Review

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ProductImage-7554068The Modern Day Wizard. Call Off The Search is part self-help book, part relationship confessional. Written by real life couple Anna (formerly Pasternak) and Andrew Wallas. Andrew is a spiritual psychotherapist and Anna is a renowned journalist.

First of all let me say that I enjoyed reading the book. I am not a big fan of self-help books, although there are a few that I think are good, but I do like to read about other people’s relationships. Although I am not single I found that some of the stuff Andrew said made sense in an I-should-have-thought-about-it-way. I do think that most self-help books are just common sense written down. Life gets busy and you forget what you should know. I like how the book has been written, they respond to each other and then their is a checklist at the end.

Anna is known for being controversial but must be given credit for being so honest and open. You do get the feeling that she likes pushing buttons and creating debate, but it takes courage to write down your thoughts honestly and truthfully. Most people would never do this, nor be able to deal with the criticism. Indeed, the book has been marketed as the ‘most controversial book of the year’. While I am not sure if it is the most controversial, it may be the most honest.

Anna says: “I truly believe that behind every hardened feminist there is a women who is looking to be loved and saved by a man”. To be honest, who does not want love? Anna and Andrew have been together since 2010, which is when I met my boyfriend. They do seem very much in love. If I were single I would find this book helpful, but even as someone who is in a relationship I still found it interesting. I am not keen on the yurt stuff and have never been a fan of ‘new age’ things. I don’t have to find myself because I know who I am (or where I am), but this book is enjoyable and a good read. With lovely snippets of knowledge along the way. The book says that you should be honest with your partner and feel your emotions instead of denying them. This is good advice. There is also a chapter on ‘core wounding’, finding out what affects you and makes you angry.

Anna Pasternak shocked the British public by exposing the Princess Diana and James Hewitt affair, and subsequently startled readers with her Daily Mail article entitled Sorry, But My Baby Bores Me. Now, along with her New Age therapist-husband, Andrew Wallas (aka. The Modern Day Wizard) she has written an explosive, game-changing account about their struggle to find true love and intimacy.

Anna hated her life as a single mother until her friends suggested that she meet spiritual psychotherapist Andrew. What followed was an intense spiritual awakening as Andrew uncovered her inner loneliness and showed her that she was going to find true love. That this true love was to be with Andrew himself, then married to his wife of twenty-five years, was a huge surprise to them both. They have now written about their relationship, confronting taboos such as sexual jealousy, revenge, hatred and power struggle, to convey their experiences from the front line of true love.

Call Off The Search is a brave examination of the nature of all modern relationships – the messy, bonkers and painful alongside the inspiring and enlightening – unlike any other self-help, spiritual or relationship book.

It is set to be one of the most controversial reads this year.

‘She’s prepared for the backlash, but with her 20-year search for true love now at an end, Anna Pasternak is ready to share her secret. “I truly believe that behind every hardened feminist there is a women who is looking to be loved and saved by a man”.’ Scotland on Sunday

‘I get emails from women who admire my honesty. Like when I wrote about motherhood. Of course I love my daughter. But that doesn’t mean I can’t acknowledge being at home with a new-born is boring. I got hate mail for that. One woman said I should have my child taken away. But I find it difficult not to speak the truth and that doesn’t always make me very popular.’ Daily Mail

‘I honestly didn’t think I was going to find an interesting and solvent man over 40, ever. Now I’m the poster girl for hope.’ Daily Telegraph

Buy Call Off the Search: The Modern Day Wizard here